When my friend, a fellow new mom, told me that she gave up complaining for Lent, I thought she was a genius. So, instead of complaining about how my child was sleeping, I simply talked nonstop about it. Eventually, I had completely exhausted and bored myself talking about Weston’s sleep patterns, so I thought it was an apt time to complete Rookie Mom Challenge #21: Talk About Something Besides Sleep.
Challenge Accepted!
I picked a very busy day to shift gears: Weston and I would be attending MommaCon; a brand new convention all about things to do with babies and children on Long Island. We would be attending with a friend and her baby, and she was bringing friends. I figured it was a perfect time to use the conversation starters Heather and Whitney suggested!
Distract Yourself, Mama
I decided my one rule was that I couldn’t bring up Weston’s sleep; if someone asked me about it, I could either change the subject, or answer and move on. I quickly realized that the best way to not think about your child’s sleep (or lack thereof, in my case!) is to distract yourself! Do something different, out of the way, and new. We experienced our longest drive, went to a totally new place, and partook in a new activity.
The convention was amazingly cool! I got information on music classes, tons of freebies, talked about doing fun fashion things on my blog, and didn’t think about Weston’s sleep habits at all! I used the conversation starters with the other new moms, asking about their jobs, their high school experiences, and what their children ate. It was really nice to get to know my friend a little better (I had had no clue where she even grew up!), as well as meet other new moms and trade some ideas with them.
It’s A Process…
After about an hour, the little one started to lose his cool (it was very loud!), so we hopped outside to listen to some music. I have to admit, it is so ingrained in me to discuss his sleeping, that when my friend asked, “is he sleeping?” I quickly quipped back with, “Well, inconsistently! Some nights, yes, some nights, no, some nights in his crib, some in our bed…” She smiled and said, “Um, I meant right now? Is he sleeping in his stroller?”
Head smack.
Through intentionally changing the subject and not dwelling on sleep (or sleeplessness!), I realized how the constant chatter about sleep makes me feel frustrated, sometimes embarrassed, and confused. To be honest, most of the time I think I’m rocking the Rookie Mom thing, but when it comes to sleep “issues,” I go back to feeling like a clueless kid.
Yes, this is going to be a process, but I’ve got to curb it when it comes to talking about sleep: his or mine. Because, really, it isn’t fair to Weston: he’s an amazing, funny, smart, silly little boy who deserves for me to talk about all the positive things, not the one negative thing he’s maybe, sometimes, having some issues with!
So, I dare you, Rookie Moms: take the “sleep talk” out of your vocabulary and see what happens to your spirit; I’m excited to stop talking about it, that’s for sure!
Find more baby activities with the 52 weekly rookie mom challenges. If you’re already participating, use hashtag #rookiemoms on instagram or twitter so we can cheer each other on.
Thank you for this! My kiddo is incredible, but he’s not a great sleeper. I’m so tired of talking about it because you’re right – it makes me feel frustrated and like I’m doing something wrong. But really, we’re all okay and I wouldn’t change a thing. (And I’m secretly dreading the days he sleeps through the night – some major mama part of me will miss the sweet 3am snuggles. I love rubbing my nose in that sleepy baby hair) Thanks again for the prompt to just quit talking about it!
Our baby is just a month old, and people asked us within the first week whether she was sleeping through the night. It’s hard at this stage to think about anything but her– and our– sleep routines, but I feel kind of the same way about people asking about breastfeeding: it’s been tough for us and I hate that we can’t focus on how terrific our little one is without a whole discussion of latch. Congrats, Olivia, on getting past this trap!
With my first, I was pretty obsessive about sleep…for both of us. Mama’s lack of sleep does lend to the “crazy” feelings of rookie motherhood. When I was pregnant with our second, I realized I could stop obsessing about the sleep and all of the “right” ways to do it. There are so many CONFLICTING and “professional” opinions out there. I figure out we just needed to do what works for our family and what my husband and I agree on. I’m pretty sure I got less sleep with the second, but I was much less stressed about it all!! Good luck! 🙂