Is there anyone else out there with a pacifier addict over the age of 2 (or better yet, 3?!) that successfully transitioned away from the dependency?
More than a year ago, we transitioned pretty successfully to bedtime and naptime only. And that’s where we’re stuck.
But for the past six months, Holden is the only kid over age 2 at his school to use a pacifier at naptime. Peer pressure doesn’t seem to have an impact (so that’s good and bad because he’s confident and because it’s a habit I wish he’d just kick).
Good friends of mine claim that when their son’s kicked the binky habit, so too went their afternoon nap. I’m not ready to give the nap up just yet so I’m nervous.
Is it akin to quitting smoking for an adult? It feels like it sometimes (like on Saturday when we were talking at Target in front of all the pacifier brands and we were choosing a new one because Avent stopped making his favorite brand… “so, you like Latex, huh?”).
I want to be respectful of his burgeoning choices but part of me wants to pluck it out and throw it away while he sleeps. Is the “Binky Fairy” a good thing or a bad thing? If he just keeps going will all his teeth rot?
I’m asking you, Internets, can you give me any tips to ease the transition? Any ideas of what not to do?
Ack!! We are in the SAME BOAT! Brighton is now 32 months old and we just widdled his usage down to naptime and bedtime, even though if it were up to him, he’d have it in his mouth all day long! It seems impossible that we’d ever get rid of it right now. He starts asking for it when he’s in the bath getting ready for bed. I’ll look forward to hearing what everyone has to say. Sorry, I’m no help…only a commiserater 🙂 BTW, is he potty trained yet? We’re still working on that too. Actually nix that, we tried and gave up. I wondering whether I should work on tossing the pacifier first, or get the potty training thing rolling first.
Amy, no he’s not potty trained, and similarly, he’s one of the last kids in his age group at school and he doesn’t seem to care. I tell myself it’s because he’s such a little smarty and he doesn’t like to have to struggle or practice to learn things. Interestingly, he will pee at school and wear underwear at school but not at home — no way.
So, we’re letting the school day take the lead on both. I pretend it’s the gentle assertion of peer pressure, routines, mini flushing toilets, and the like rather than my own laziness that lets the preschool handle the lion’s share on this one.
I’ve read some great (but ultimately unhelpful) things on potty training and it seems like a bigger pain in the ass. You can lead a kid to the potty, but you can’t make him go. Whereas, you actually can sneak in the middle of the night, pluck out the pacifier and chuck it (I did that earlier in the week) and deal with the ramifications.
my nephew is three and still has a binky at beadtime…he is down to just the one though- my sister in law told him he had to give all the rest to my baby when he was born- she made a big deal about how the baby needed the binky and that would be his present to teh new baby etc.. it seemed to work, when we are at their house he tries to give our son his bedtime binky any time our son gets fussy…
Potty training will come when he is ready dont push it, lots of kids with siblings have a hard time transitioning away from binks and diapers since they see their sibs having both.
I think you should give him some time (a month) to adjust to the big boy bed before putting another stress on his sleeping. Of course he can CIO and get over it at night, but with the nap, there’s not really CIO unless you think you can just leave him there until bedtime 🙂
My kid brother was about 3 he was still sucking a pacifier. My family to a camping trip and the binky just disappeared…forever. He survivied and I have no recollection of major trauma. Fast forward about 16 years to when he’s helping my mom clean out the attic…the binky resurfaced from the bottom of my mom’s craft bag as a dry-rotted mess.
The binky incident was just a few years after my parents “forgot” to bring my bicycle training. All was well until I had to stop.
So maybe a camping trip is in order for you guys.
So, he stopped using it at school, but kept it at home for the time being. The kicker is that he’s a cranky mess at school and has started BITING kids again. Awesome.
For us, we were doing the potty training, big boy bed at nap and ‘nutchie’ detox all at the same time! I was so angry that he kept finding it and teasing me by hiding. I’d hear this sucking sound from under his bed, the corner of the bathroom, etc. Finally we sat down and had a huge talk about being a big boy. He is 2.5 yo and ‘gets it’. So I cut the nutch right in front of him. He tried it. Didn’t like it. Asked why I did it. I told him that we were going to give it to the babies at the hospital, which is where he came from. He thought about that. He asked for it at nap, but spit it out when he realized it was cut. Other people say to use a razor and gradually do it but I didn’t have time for that! Anyway, it took 3 days of some crying at nap, but I let him pick an extra stuffed animal or blanket. We prayed together that the babies at the hospital would like the nutchies we gave them and that they would grow to be big kids like him. Overall, seeing how well it went, I wish I did it sooner! I have since given him a few extra privileges for being a big boy, like helping me dump ingredients in when I cook or handing the money to the cashier or whatever. I tell him it’s b/c he’s a big boy. I also remind him that big boys don’t push, they use words, etc and use it as discipline too…sorry for the long comment, I just feel strongly about this. It worked for us and they are only suggestions…looking forward to reading updates on your progress!
I have 3 girls, 13, 11 and 7 — the 7 year old was addicted to pacifiers — I used to joke that I would give her a cigarette if she would trade it for her paci! We put off weaning her until she was 5 – yikes! You do not want to wait that long, believe me… When she was 5, we did the paci fairy deal — I typed a letter and secretly put it on her bed one night — as she was getting ready for bed, she saw the note and asked me to read it — I’ve pasted the letter below — it worked so easily it was unbelievable — telling a fairy story or a story wth some sort of magical charater will be very helpful — if you aim at your child’s developmental stage, it will work like magic. I could not believe how easy it was and was kicking myself for not having done it sooner — I know it would have worked when she was much younger… The letter talks about “mmomy and dadday” but obviously can be edited to fit any family structure… Good luck!
“Dear Georgia Catalina – what a beautiful name!!!
We are the Pacifier Fairies – we are your Paci’s mommy and daddy! We love how you named her “Paci” and we know she has been very happy to be your pacifier. But you know how you have a mommy and a daddy, well, she has a mommy and a daddy, too – we are her mommy and daddy! We love and miss Paci very much and even though Paci has loved her time with you, she loves and misses us very much, and knows it is her time to travel home with us to Pacifier Land. We are writing to you now because we know you are finally ready to say good bye – last night you proved to us what a brave girl you are.
Also, when little children like you do not stop using their pacifiers by the time they are 5, we, the Pacifier Fairies, come to collect the pacifiers because the little pacis miss their mommy and daddy and because we miss our little pacis – 5 years is just long enough for us to be apart.
So…. at the next full moon (ask your mommy or daddy when that will be), if you leave Paci on your window sill, we the Pacifier Fairies will come to get Paci and finally bring her home. Just like the Tooth Fairy, we the Pacifier Fairies will leave you a special, wonderful present when you let Paci go back home with us. We and Paci will be so proud of you!!! Paci is very sorry and will be sad that she has to say goodbye to you, but she is really looking forward to being back in Pacifier Land with her mommy and daddy just like you get to be with your mommy and daddy every day. Now your job is to make a wish for what you want your special, wonderful present to be and at the next full moon, you will be so happy!!!!
Love,
The Pacifier Fairies
My daughter is now ten, and I still cringe when I think back to the time we decided to nix the binkie. It was 2 and a half months of crying hell – for all of us!
My friend emailed me a link to a site that has a publication on losing the binky (it is free, makes money by advertisements). I have not tried it yet because my son is only 6 months old. She absolutly raved about the method. I think I will try try it out when he is around 1. It is www.bye-bye-binky.com for anyone who is interrested. If you do, let me know your thoughts….Bella
Bella, I took a look at that pdf from bye bye binky and it looks interesting. I may be motivated to try the steps soon on my two year old and I’ll report back.
Very cool. Funny thing, my son was fussing the other day. I pulled out an old binky thinking it might sooth him. No dice, he wanted nothing to do with it! The association the brain makes really does work.
My little one is 2.5yrs old…. she never wanted a pacifier, she turned 2 and she got a hold of it and that is all she wants now. That’s myfault for leaving it around when she did not want it before. How will that affect her if I just take it away? What to do? What not to do?
I also used [LINK REMOVED BECAUSE I’M A SPAMMER] (followed it step by step). They said it would take 4 days, but after only 2 days my son wanted nothing to do with his pacifier. Awesome stuff, worked perfectly, also highly recomended.
Amber, I’d love to hear more about the method. Without giving away the $30 trade secrets, what did you guys do?