The very first time I left my baby with a new babysitter — a totally professional experienced nanny — I was so choked up with emotion about leaving my five-month old in anyone else’s care that I had to excuse myself to another room and cry for a bit (while she was still there!). There was so much to communicate and I had no idea how to say it all.
Since then, things have gotten a lot easier; I am eight years into my parenting journey and have 3 sons so I know a thing or two about their needs. Also, I am more comfortable with leaving my children in another’s care and I have a solid network of sitters. I maintain an evolving list with their evening routines, forbidden foods, and emergency contact info on my fridge for reference.
Despite my preparations, I still find that there are surprises with every new caregiver. Most of the differences are minor and I don’t sweat it (like when the kid’s bedroom doors are left open, which we never do at sleepytime) but other discoveries make “the list” for next time.
This piece of legal paper lives on the side of my fridge forever. The top part includes my kids’ names and birthdates, so I don’t need to frequently update ages, as well as our address and emergency contact info. The bottom part contains my peculiar instructions.
In addition to my overly thorough notes, I have the verbal instructions. I realize that what’s normal for me, might sound wacky to you so I offer a partial list of what I tell a new babysitter in the hopes that if I show you mine, you’ll show me yours:
- Take off your shoes, wash your hands. I’m a nut about this. If I see them do it first thing, I can relax. Otherwise, ummm, please don’t touch my kids or their food.
Pro tip: If you’re weird like this, tell the sitter before they come over, so you’re not accusing them of being unclean. AWKWARD!
- Clean up the mess you make. I don’t need my house to be magazine-ready when I get home but please tidy up the dishes and food prep stuff as well as the toys you got out.
Pro tip: For this reason, I nearly always ask sitters to make dinner so they’ll do the clean up. - Keep up with the toddler. The little guy is the craziest. No matter what, always have one eye — if not hand — on him; the bigs will probably be fine.
Pro tip: I have safe zones set up in every room so adult caregivers can go to the bathroom or open the oven door. - Lights out at bedtime. I was surprised to learn that my toddlers negotiated for the lights to stay on… and the sitter wondered why they didn’t fall asleep. In our house, lights go off, all the way off. No matter what the kids say.
Pro tip: I have the whole bedtime routine written down for reference. - No toys in the bed. Again, my kiddos negotiated for puzzle pieces and blocks to be in their beds overnight. Huh? Actually, that one probably goes into the category of bedroom door left open and other things that are no big deal.
Pro tip: Let go of what you can. Bedtime 15 minutes late? So what!
I’d love to hear what’s on your “list” of instructions for babysitters. Does anything unusual make the cut?
The only thing unusual for me is that, way too late in the game I learned that my husband refuses to let my children stay with a babysitter that is not family. My jaw hurt from hitting the floor when he said that. So…yeah…I don’t have instructions written down anywhere. For anything. So, to recap, he is okay with sending the kids across the country with my parents for three months, but one night with teenager for dinner or a concert is a no-go. SMH
I had a very detailed list of instructions when our son was still a baby, but I did have some people (mostly friends helping out) react like it was a bit much. I would have wanted the list if I was in their shoes. Since he’s now a toddler and can speak for himself, I’ve relaxed about the instructions. Plus we now have the same teenager coming almost every Saturday (I know, so lucky) so she is starting to get the routine. There are things I wish she’d do differently… like I’ve found him in bed with a sippy cup of milk more than once… but in the larger scheme of things, whatever. He’s alive and asleep. Hooray!
In our house, the dog needs more instructions than the kids! If you have pets, it’s important to let the sitters know about their needs and what to watch out for. In our case it’s things like:
-keep the kitchen door closed or she’ll go counter surfing
-if she needs to go out, she just stands at the back door. She won’t do anything else to let you know
-she likes to chew on wooden toys, so train tracks need to be put away before bed time or she will shred them
My boys are easy compared to the dog 🙂
oh gosh! What a timely post. I’m using a new sitter soon and have never quite negotiated how to explain the things I am insane about. Like, I really don’t care about shoes in the house but I am a CRAZY PERSON about milk preparation.
@Katy, What’s your deal? If you can explain it to me, you can explain to her. I always just premix the bottles and explain when and how I expect them to be used. For a baby, I might say, “He should have this 4oz bottle before his nap; I made another Just In Case but I would be shocked if he drank it”.
I was burned on that one when I left my 5MO (2nd son) with a sitter for the first time to go to my brother’s wedding. I nursed before I left for the ceremony and was planning to do it before the reception so I had pre-pumped and stopped by and she gave him all the reserves while I was gone for 45 minutes. I was distraught but what could I do? I just pumped and cried and went back to the wedding.
I had 3 pages of handwritten notes with my first baby (first sitter at 9 mo, my husband bought tix to see Wicked in SFO to get me out of the house). I now have 3 kids, 1 page of notes, 1 sitter (so she pretty much knows the drill). But I have not left the 6 month old with her for longer than 2 hours (mainly bc I am breastfeeding). Love these notes! Good point on the dog notes, too.
Choosing a babysitter can be difficult. With all of the babysitters out there, it can seem like an overwhelming task to try and narrow down the pool until you find that one, perfect caregiver.
So what makes a great babysitter?
It is important, for the sake of consistency for your children, that your babysitter be able to commit to your family for at least a year from the interview date. Within that year, there may be dates on which you need a babysitter and she is not be available: however, she ideally will be able to be your babysitter most of the times you are in need…