Before having a baby, I had a very clear idea of what kind of mom I would be. Having read Babywise at the advice of a childless friend, I knew I would put my newborn on a schedule and fill my maternity leave with useful pursuits like crossing items off my to-do list and initiating sewing projects with the baby by my side in a bouncy seat.
The book’s instructions didn’t work out for me; among other things, it’s based on the premise that a baby eats every four hours (rather than the two hour cycle I seemed to be on). What the what?
Well, at least the bouncy seat came in handy.
Though I never used it for making playclothes from curtains (do I look like Mary Poppins, er, Maria?), having my sidekick in a baby lounge chair (like the BABYBJÖRN Babysitter pictured) has made me a better mama.
1. I smell better. My babies have loved hanging out in the steamy bathroom while I sneak in a shower. Because my washing machine is also in the bathroom, Sawyer’s presence usually encouraged me to do a load of wash. Feeling clean was something I used to take for granted, but not since becoming a mother.
2. I cook food. It turns out that my family needs to eat several times a day. Once I was able to remove Sawyer from my body (baby carriers are a necessity, yes?!), we graduated to putting the Babysitter on the kitchen floor so he could closely watch the hot action from a safe distance. Preparing meals sometimes feels like half of all parenting.
3. I preserve my relationships. Yes, with a baby nearby, my phone calls may sound sillier. I occasionally lapse into that singsong baby voice when I’m chatting with my girlfriends, but at least those calls get made. Having friends makes me a happier person.
4. I write and publish. With a little baby at the foot of my desk, I have written a gajillion emails, thousands of blog posts and two books (okay, the second book was written with baby in utero and not on the floor). Thank you to the seats that make these achievements possible.
5. I play with my children. By parking Sawyer nearby, I can play board games with the big boys while he watches us. We also like to entertain our tiny audience with family dance parties and impromptu puppet shows. As we perform, Sawyer gets plenty of chances to demonstrate his budding clapping skills.
And I’m sure we can all agree that the best mom smells good, feeds her kids, has lasting friendships, is proud of her accomplishments while always remembering to have fun with her children.
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This post was sponsored by BABYBJÖRN with whom we have worked to bring you a whole series of good stuff this summer, including giving away many of their products. Stay tuned!
Find out more about the BABYBJÖRN bouncers on their website.
For a baby that young, sitting there and looking around is an activity.
I’m SO happy I had a bouncy seat for my kids. My oldest wouldn’t sleep in anything else until he was way to big to be in a bouncy seat and I never would have been able to do anything without it with my second.
It sounds silly, but posts like this remind me that I *can* do things for myself while my baby is awake. So, thank you!
@Rhi, You’re welcome. It is not always easy to remember.
Love love love your blog. And I agree, the bouncy seat is absolutely a necessity.
But, I just have to add that using the Babywise method does not at all mean your baby has to eat every 4 hours – no exceptions. My baby didn’t do that until he was 8 months old! He ate every 2 hours for the first 3 months and I was easily able to adapt the Babywise strategies.
I just have to say that bc I feel like Babywise gets a bad wrap. We’ve had enormous success with it.
Now, back to the blog, which again, I adore.
@Meredith, I think the BW philosophy was pretty good (compares quite favorably to the more gentle Baby Whisperer E.A.S.Y approach) but that 4 hour thing caused me to give up. Too bad I didn’t have you around to teach me to be flexible with it. Flexibility is not my strongest trait. Thank you for the nice words!
I also really enjoy your blog, but had to second Meredith’s comment about baby-wise.
I really am not sure how you got the four hour thing out of babywise, as they very clearly state that babies are not to go more than 2.5 hours between feedings the first while (and in fact, you are not even supposed to look at the clock the first week). They also state several times that hunger takes precedence over the clock (so if your baby shows signs of hunger earlier than 2.5 hours, you should feed them!).
I feel like a lot of people don’t truly read the entire book and understand the concepts, and they confuse it with scheduled, by-the-clock feeding. The four hour thing is something i’ve never even heard of and i’ve read the book 3 times!
Love your writing and your topics in general though. Just couldn’t sit back and let this one go
@lfwfv, I did read it cover-to-cover while pregnant and swear up and down I would follow it… then I had the baby and flailed around instead.
Rather than recall the specifics of the philosophy, the sharpest memory I have is that I imagined myself sewing A LOT because the book tells you that the baby can sit there while you sew.
Didn’t mean to BW-bash. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
GREAT post! We wore our little guy a lot, but I also reeeeally appreciated the time he was out of my arms and in the bouncy seat!
for our first child we ended up using the car seat alot. she even ate dinner at the dining table with us. (pretty silly). now i have a bouncy chair too and just keeping your child involved and a part of the family, with interactions here and there sprinkled in is so wonderful. Plus they love just seeing what we and there siblings do!
I think a lot of the confusion on here about Babywise is that it has been revised since Heather first read it. The version you read, Heather, was condemned by the AAP. The authors when went on to revise it to make it much more breast feeding friendly (although it still gets much criticism from the breast feeding community). Hopefully we can all move on from that topic to the original point.
That being said, I wish my daughter would have sat in a bouncy chair! Even now, as a nearly three year old, she is one of those kids who needs constant physical contact. As much as I loved having her in the carrier, I tried and tried to put her in the bouncy chair so that I could do things (dry my hair, cook something… anything!) but I couldn’t get more than a few minutes out of her before the hysterical crying began. I really felt like a failure, or at the very least like I was over reacting. But I have so much more experience now and I realize that it was her temperment to need to be held pretty much constantly (as I type this she is sitting practically on top of me, playing with some books). It is definitely ok to put your baby down once in a while. As another poster said, when they are infants just watching is an activity!
I absolutely sympathize with tobasco. My daughter wanted nothing to do with anything that didn’t involve her touching me or having my full attention if she wasn’t touching me. Swings, bouncy seats, tummy time, and playpens were all completely off-limits if I didn’t want a screaming, furious baby. Since she had reflux, screaming and furious was something definitely to be avoided, since it led to having a baby that spit up in a manner reminiscent of The Exorcist.
Now, at nearly one, she’s finally getting more independent, but still hates being cooped up/penned in/pinned down, and still requires that she be within 10 feet of my activity space. Now, she’s pretty content as long as she knows she can get to me and cling to my legs if she wants.
All of that said, a baby carrier is a wonderful thing for all those “I need to do things” moments, and the slings designed for use in the water are amazing for those times you reaaaalllly need a shower but the baby refuses to be put down without screaming bloody murder (so long as you’re willing to use baby shampoo and baby wash on yourself). My daughter still loves taking a shower with me, and the person that invented that sling is my hero.
Tinabot, I hear you! My older old son was that way. We got him used to the shower spray very early on by bathing with him. Finished with a fast splash in the shower to rinse off the bathwater, and handing him off to the opposite waiting parent to dry him off while I washed my hair and shaved. Once he started sitting regularly, I could get a shower with him playing with bath toys on the floor. Sometimes, I had to wash my hair sitting down, but hey, it got washed! He’s two now, and much better. It does get easier! I promise!
My three month old son isn’t as high needs, and is content to babble at the ceiling fan while I’m in the shower and his brother is napping. (Baby monitor on the back of the toilet tells me if he’s getting in distress for any reason and to wrap up quick.) He’s also quite content in the swing, so I can focus a little more on my adorable attention whore of a toddler. <3
I wish baby girl would use her bouncy seats! She does not like to sit still.
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