We participated in a twitter party last night with Healthy Child Healthy World to talk about what a parent really needs to have on hand for a new baby. There were a few excellent panelists and a gajillion other participants. The panelists included:
- Meagan Francis (@meaganfrancis), The Happiest Mom
- Jennifer & Jeremiah McNichols (@zrecs_safety and @zrecsmom), Z Recommends
- Janet Dean (@GreenMomReview), The Green Mom Review
- And us (@RookieMoms – do you follow us on twitter? You should!)
Expecting a baby?
After an hour of chatting about what a mom NEEDS vs. doesn’t need and how we can all do better to find green alternatives to common baby products, the task of actually assembling the “perfect” baby registry sounds harder than ever. Our advice is to talk to your favorite veteran moms and do what feels right for you. So if you want to throw all their advice out the window after getting conflicting messages, go right ahead.
I started off by saying all you need NEW is car seat, stroller, breast pump, diapers. But then I thought, maybe some moms don’t need a breast pump; a stroller can be borrowed or bought used — as can cloth diapers. Oops!
So my updated advice on what to register for is this: When considering what to BUY vs. BORROW, think about the shelf-life of a product. Less than 5 months? Borrow! Our registry tips page offers a bucket of suggestions of the kind of items you can get used.
A few of my favorite road-tested tips from the twitter party:
Guiding principle: Do I need it at all?
- MeaganFrancis says a baby has three basic needs: to be warm, dry, and fed. The rest is extra!
- Whitney tweets that diaper bags are a weird invention anyway; what’s wrong with a backpack?
- Zrecs_safety suggests that you take back 75% of the onesies you receive at your baby shower. You’ll be doing laundry constantly anyway.
- BeckRath says you never need to buy a baby blanket. You will be gifted tons, including handmade ones.
- MeaganFrancis: I always tell expecting moms DON’T register for stuffed animals no matter how cute. People will give anyway!
- GreenMomReview: You don’t need: the vinyl and foam changing pad. A folded up comforter works just as well w/o the toxins.
- MeaganFrancis: Most big “toys” + even some furniture pieces can wait til after you have baby & see how/if you’ll use them.
Greener, Safer, Healthier
- Zrecs_safety suggests that Safemama.com, ZRecsGuide.com, thesoftlanding.com are all great resources for safer quality baby stuff
- Healthy_Child: For Toys & Teethers: Look for natural materials like solid woods or organic textiles
- Healthy_Child: Make a safe bed: PVC-free mattress, with natural, untreated sheets. Skip the bumpers, pillow & blanket.
New Vs. Used
- Paige Wolf buys mostly used baby clothes, figuring that enough washes helps flush the flame retardants and yucky dyes!
- CoolMomPicks: You can actually even get a used breast pump – depending on which one it is! See this Hygeia Enjoye (the best breast pump you’ve never heard of).
- Healthy_Child suggests that you try to connect with local moms to share items and start your own child gear ‘library”. (love it!)
So what do you think you absolutely *need* to raise a baby?
{picture from flickr by mark sebastian}
i absolutely wish we had not gotten a stroller–but registered for a good vacuum instead. miles has used his stroller maybe 20 times in his life? we use carriers and they are so much easier for us in the city (no shoving through crowds). but a good vacuum? that would have been a lifesaver.
Ironically, our most used baby products were ones other parents passed down, particularly the Ergo. You need lots of absorbant cloth in some form (in our house, cheap cloth diapers) and maybe a waterproof surface or twenty. Depending on your views, a contained place to sleep (we had three and I loved that). Other than that? Most of what we thought we NEEDED was unnecessary (bajillion onesies in wrong size/colors, blankets, stroller, diaper champ, etc) or would depend on the baby (bouncer/swing, blackout blinds, the carrier he would accept).
Heh – parents definitely will sometimes have a weird definition of the word “need!”
My baby’s 8 months old and we have never owned a stroller nor had a need for one – it’s carriers all the way here. My coworkers predicted I would regret it when I didn’t buy one pre-baby, but I’m SO happy we didn’t get one!
So, what stuff does a baby actually NEED? Food, either breast or bottle. Something to wear, and nowhere near as many outfits as you think – we had a few short sleeved shirts, a couple long sleeved, and a pair or two of pants to start. Maybe we’d have gotten something warmer if it had been winter. We don’t use onesies since they get in the way of easy diaper access for toileting. Something to eliminate into (for us, a combo of diapers and an EC bowl). A way to be carried, be that stroller, car seat, carrier, or some combination thereof depending on your lifestyle. Note that if you have a hospital or birth center birth, the place is likely legally required to see you have a car seat before you can leave (even if you plan to take transit home!), which makes car seat a NEED in that case.
Our strategy was to take hand-me-downs from everyone who offered and we bought very very little pre-baby except the car seat (we have a mini, so we had to get a very specific car seat new that would fit in our car!) and a changing table, since we didn’t own any re-purposeable furniture. We have an Amazon Prime membership, so anything we realized we wanted but lacked or didn’t come with the hand-me-downs could be ordered for two- or next-day delivery. This meant we didn’t need to even go out in those early days. That was AWESOME and well worth the membership fee!
The biggest essential-for-us thing we DID end up buying new after the first couple of weeks were our carriers. It seems like everyone I’ve talked to about baby carrying has a different preferred style of carrier, and so we decided to just wait until we could actually try our baby in some to see what fit us. Good thing, because I hate the ergo (I’m too small for it – WAY too many straps and buckles and padding and faffing around, even on its tightest settings) – a simple non-padded ring sling or basic mei tai works better on my frame. I do recommend waiting to try out carriers until post-baby-birth so you can find the one that works for you.
Wow, that was quite an essay!
Sorry about that, but clearly I have a lot of opinions about this stuff. 
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I have 2 diaper bags…I use a backpack, anyway! Two straps makes for easier carrying and it fits cloth diapers and an insulated lunch bag much better than my hospital-issue bag or my pretty carter’s diaper bag. Not difficult to find anything, either.
I think it really depends on your lifestyle. That’s really the impetus behind our website, which directs parents of different lifestyle types towards baby products which are conducive to the way they live. http://www.yourbabybooty.com. Sorry I missed the party. Sounds awesome!
Ps I’m not sure if I would keep the picture posted of the baby in the box. I just see a baby choking on all those peanuts. eek!
I did a post on what we used here: http://hannaslifeiscool.blogspot.com/2010/04/baby-gear-what-do-you-really-need.html
It’s so different for everyone, my little girl is just turning one and we only ordered a stroll last week, the ergo was just easier for our city and lifestyle!
We had way too much baby stuff – so I’d second all the folks suggesting just the basics – but we got one “extra” thing that I hadn’t registered for but that turned out to be amazing. It was one of those Boppy pillows. I love to sit tailor-style on the couch and the Bobby put my baby at just the right height for nursing with no strain on my arms or back. I worked from home while she was an infant and the Boppy was perfect for nursing at my desk – and then letting her sleep curled around my belly while I went back to work typing right over her. A pillow in my lap never felt right, and the sling that everyone else swore by just never worked for me – but the Boppy was perfect. So (like others said) if it’s all possible, try out some options before you buy.
This is really an impossible question to answer without knowing the individual’s lifestyle.
For us we didn’t even use our stroller until the weather hit the 90′s. I don’t care how “attached” you are, no one enjoys being strapped to another person when it’s that hot!
For me, due to devastatingly low supply, a good breast pump was a need. Other women never touch theirs.
Our house is old and has been through many renovations. Our daughter’s bedroom is on the other side of a brick wall, so a baby monitor was a must for us, once she was moved into her own room. Others will have different sleeping arrangements.
But if I absolutely had to answer this question I would say a few things. Baby needs clothes. Even if they’re born in the summer, chances are they’ll be in air conditioning at some time. This includes safe sleeping clothes, sleep sacks with a removable swaddler are my signature baby shower gift. Diapers of course, be it cloth or disposable. A food source (ditto the boppy even if you’re not bfing, you can use them for modified tummy time, to prop baby and make googley faces at each other, and later as a bumper when they’re learning how to sit). A car seat, even if you don’t own a car. You will at some point get a ride from someone. I would argue that one form of baby holder (bouncy chair, swing, playmat) is necessary because sometimes you want to blowdry your hair, and you will eventually need to cook without the microwave.
Let’s not forget things like a good thermometer and vaseline, infant dosage fever reducer, and diaper rash cream.
One of my favorite items was the rechargeable Candela nightlight by Oxo. It is now my go to gift. It was perfect for middle of the night diaper changes and to keep me company while I was nursing. Sometimes it stayed on all night. Much better than sleeping with the light on – which we did the first week!
I just checked and there are multiple versions of the Candela available now. Mine was the “OXO Candela Rechargeable Guardian Nightlight 4101100″. It is just plain fantastic. . . .
A comfortable nursing chair – preferably near where baby sleeps. Whether you’re nursing or bottle feeding, co-sleeping or not, there will be long feeding sessions and your back and shoulders will thank you for being able to do it in a place where you can totally relax. We got an inexpensive lazy-boy type recliner (minus the chemical stain protector – we’re not planing to keep it long term anyways) and had it right by the crib in the nursery. I’d plop down, put up my feed and nurse for hours at a time (litterally in those first few weeks!). Absolutely BEST baby purchase we made!!
Cloth diapers (great way to go green and save green!), Boudreaux’s Butt Paste Diaper Rash Ointment, an infant car seat, and a baby carrier were all must-haves for me! Stuffed animals and toys just take up much-needed space! I have 3 kids and 1 on the way and we’ve accumulated more toys over the years than we know what to do with! I’ve officially reached the nesting phase of my pregnancy and spent hours this week collecting neglected toys to donate. You’ll probably get inundated with blankets as gifts, but the ones that I got the most use out of were swaddling blankets (whatever blankets you decide to use make sure they are safe!). Shoes aren’t necessary until your baby starts to stand or walk (socks will do until then).
I was fortunate to receive lots of hand me downs so did not have to buy much for my 4 month old daughter. Much of what I was given was not really necessary. The items which have been most useful include: kiddopotamus swaddling blankets, sleep sacks, thirsties cloth diaper covers(well priced and work better than some other more expensive styles), adan adais brand swaddling blankets (useful for swaddling or as a cover while nursing), a comfortable rocking chair, simple stretchy cotton knit baby shirts and pants, boppy pillow (useful for nursing, tummy time or just sitting up), and my fave item – the twilight turtle night light (this is a great shower gift – useful for changing diapers or checking on baby at night and the toddlers I have given them to love it).
it’s taken two babies for me to realize that all we need is a carseat, clothes, cloth dipes and wipes and a sling or wrap. of course little things like a thermometer and hygiene stuff. toys are optional, ours prefer household stuff anyway.
the best best BEST thing I bought when I found out I was pregnant was a… dishwasher! I love that machine *sniff*
The baby registry must have checklist you get from any store (target, babies r us, diapers.com, amazon) is huge! You definitely don’t need everything there. I’ve made my own list of must-haves at least for the first three months. These include the hands-free breast pump bra, swaddle blankets, bottle warmer, and a breast feeding pillow. What do I really need on my baby registry?