We are moving this weekend. And it is all kinds of crazy. Emotionally, physically, logistically. I’m completely overwhelmed. But since you can’t watch my kids while I install doorstops, let’s talk about my feelings.
Seven and a half years ago, Alec and I moved into our current 1200 square foot bungalow with a baby bump and a few pieces of mismatched furniture. Almost everything has changed since then. We will be leaving with three children and a big truckload of memories (and stuff). This guy is now a first grader.
When we moved a bookshelf to pack, we rediscovered a hidden stash of pacifiers inside two dusty boxes. Both Holden and Milo used their pacifiers for sleeping until age 3 when the dentist told them it was time to move on. At the time, we must’ve said that new babies were being born who would need these binkies and we were quite firm (Holden asked me this morning if new babies would get them and I said, “No, ewww”). We held a Happy Goodbye Ceremony(!!) for the pacifier and said our heartfelt farewells. But we couldn’t bear to throw them away. Just in case.
I wish I felt only enthusiasm for the coming days of adventure but I’m plagued with mixed feelings. Of course I’m excited to have more space to stretch out so we can separate Sawyer’s nursery from the office from the storage room; but I’m sad to leave the one home our family has known. I’m worried that our new place is too much of a fixer. Will construction dust and materials will be hazardous to my curious children and/or my clueless baby? I’m embarrassed that we couldn’t squeeze in our small place and live green and clutter-free with our small footprint. Do we really need more room? It’s like giving up the car for a minivan (which we also did).
Whining aside, I know I have to ignore my fears and remember what’s great about this. I wish I could put our house on a dusty shelf though. Just in case.
I’d love to hear a little word of encouragement from any of you who have moved house with children.
We moved when my boys were 4 because we had outgrown our old house. It felt like we were constantly tripping over each other and spent way too much time trying to organize things to fit into our small space. We didn’t *need* more room – we WANTED more room.
I am very happy to report that we have been SO HAPPY to have more space. We didn’t realize how cramped it was until we had room to breathe. My only regret is that I wish we could have moved sooner. Our current house feels like our forever house and it is so nice to feel so happy with our space.
We moved from a historic victorian (dream house/fixer upper/money pit) to a one level ranch style when my son was 4 months old. I had never imagined living in a one floor home but i totally love it!!! Good luck with your move I’m sure it will be great having more space.
I felt the same way when we moved a couple of years ago, just before the baby was born — a little guilty that we were taking up more space (and incurring more debt) instead of making our small house work, wary of all the repairs our “new” 100-year old house needed, and unsure about how it would affect our son who had lived in our old house all his life. I was surprised at how easily he made the transition. One thing that helped a lot was that we dropped him off at daycare before the actual move, completely set up his room as soon as the movers left, and added a few new toys and books. When he came home, he was excited to see his room, which looked similar to his old one. I still remember him saying excitedly, “Mommy, the new house has Mr. Bump! And this cool truck!” as if it came that way.
Nearly two years later, no regrets at all! And it turns out that our two boys have opposite sleeping habits, so I’m very happy they each have their own room.
Welcome to the neighborhood Heather! We moved a year ago and it was hard but worth it. The additional space and sense of permanence is such a huge boon!
My goodness, I could write the exact same today. We are also moving this weekend, from our 1100 sq foot home of 9 years. The house we first moved into, the house we got engaged in, married in, brought babies to. We are moving to a bigger house. And I’m feeling the same sadness and concern as you. Just know you aren’t alone. We’re not the first or the last to make these kinds of choices for our family.
Cheers,
Actually, I’m moving NEXT weekend! We currently live in the first home my husband and I bought / the house our baby was born in. We are super excited to move to the nearest “big city” and be much closer to our family, but it is definitely bittersweet to leave the place where we’ve had so many firsts.
My mom says a new house becomes a home once you have Christmas there, get sick, or bring home a new baby. Our house felt like home when we vacationed for the first time and were relieved to be back home. We also did what CM suggested and set up out son’s room first thing. He did great with the move.
We are in the process of selling our house and just seeing the “For Sale” sign in the yard mkes me sad. But it’s a move we want to make, I just don’t think anything can take away the grief I’ll feel at leaving our first house. Hope the move goes well.
I’ve moved twice in less than a year with my two kids–first across the country and then again into our forever home in our new city. It hasn’t been that bad, considering all the upheaval. Our cross country move was very much wanted for a better life so we were all really excited about it and it all felt positive, even though moving with a 3 yr old and a 15 month old was rough. I wasn’t sad to leave our old house behind because I was ready to leave. I could be an anomaly here though.
Moving again–this time when the kids were almost 4 and 2–was also not so bad because we were moving just a few miles from the rental into the house we purchased. We were able to move slowly–a few boxes here and there–and get the kids’ room set up before we actually slept here for the first time and that helped immensely. They were excited to see all their stuff again, set up in the same way, in the new house.
I’m just glad we’re not moving again for a long, long time. We’ve downsized considerably and I’m grateful for that–smaller house means less area to take care of. Our new place is 1700 square feet, compared to like 2800 square feet of our other places. I’m enjoying the smallness. Hope you guys are happy in your new place! Everything will sort out, even if it feels crazy in the moment.
We moved from our first home when our girls were 2 and 3 months. It was a bit sad…but mostly relief. More space, a yard, and a much shorter commute. I agree it became home once we had the holidays here.
Hi Heather,
We moved from our little NYC apt. to our home in out here when Tejas was 18 months old. Our apt. was cozy, we walked everywhere, we didn’t own a car…But the space was worth it. It was hard no doubt, leaving the space where we began our life together, brought Tejas home and all that… It is hard but know that you are doing the right thing for your family. And you have your lists right? You’ll be more than okay, you’ll see…. Cheers.
We moved across the country when I was 8 mos preggo and my oldest was 3. We don’t normally give new toys outside of holidays and birthdays but when we moved in we gave him a “housewarming toy” – I think it was a hot wheels ramp or something of the like. The time that he spent playing with his new toy for a few days bought me so much time to unpack. Highly recommend that.
Yes, it will be wonderful. I couldn’t handle a small townhome with 1, never mind three, and much as I love the place I’ve never regretted moving up to get a yard and a cul-de-sac full of kids and minimal traffic. The move did scare me, all the things we would need to do to the new house that we had made sure to get done in the old place BEFORE kids (hey, painting two rooms now and replacing flooring ourselves in anticipation of kid #2… the now 3yo is helping and loving it!). I felt (and still sometimes feel) the guilt over the bigger footprint, but then I see how happy our family is, remember that now we can garden for ourselves and compost and the new place is more energy efficient and … we’re chipping at the footprint in other places thanks to the move!
In other words, it’ll be good. Good luck moving!
From a mom that did the same {me} just 2 months ago and moved from San Diego to the Bay Area I can completely relate to what you are feeling. Moving after having kids is very different emotionally, physically and logistically. We had to pack up our belongings and move within 3 days of notice. As parents we are always thinking of providing our families with the best and in your case space was the best for your family. Yes memories make it a challenge and emotionally draining to part, but think of all the new memories you’ll make at your new home, think of all the memories your kids will make in their new bedrooms and also keep in mind that you are all together. At one point we had considered my husband relocate so that our daughter could finish the school year and then relocate the whole family, but that did not make my husband nor I or the kids happy so we all moved. Enjoy all the new adventures you’ll family have.
@Amanda,
We tend to be pretty stingy with gifts and toys, but I wanted them to be so excited that I thought we should put a new toy in every room of the house (a fun board game, a mini trampoline, nerf guns…!) but instead, I ran out of time and they were just as excited to see all their toys that had been boxed up that it felt like Christmas! Oh well.