Rookie Moms

Today I saw an infant carrier whose plastic parts had been stickered by an obviously much older sibling with punk rock and skateboard stickers. The upholstery had a patch sewn onto it, Beastie Boys proudly displayed just above the infant’s head. Very cool, I thought, a car seat with “flare”. Then, I spotted these on Nested. I LOVE THIS IDEA! Add flare to my diaper bag to commemorate significant episodes in my life as a mother? You betcha. The badges come in ten skills, allowing you to boast about your motherhood survival skills on airplane rides, shopping trips, through diaper blow-outs and temper tantrums. Do you breastfeed? Give yourself a badge!

mama merit badges was started as a response to the dearth of authentic recognition for the very hard work of mothering. Overly sentimentalized depictions of motherhood belie the actual daily duties that alternately feel like drudgery, brave political acts, and absurd performance art. This irreverent award system invites public dialogue about and visual recognition for the unpaid and often ignored labor that is parenting.

The badges are 1½ inches, iron on, and 100% embroidery. They can be worn on your diaper bag, purse, tote, jacket, jeans, scarf or baby carrier. Stick them on your wall, fridge or bulletin board.

How awesome is that?

I love being a mom. Of course I do. Would I spend this much time blogging and writing a book about enjoying motherhood if I didn’t strongly identify with my momness?

I freely admit, however, that this new hobby job role does take away from my pre-mom hobbies, including the hobby that was my husband and his hobbies.  I no longer go to live music with him. (You’re going to show that starts at 10? Great! Have fun with that!)  I have reduced my offers to host barbecues by about 90%. (Extra grocery trip and clean up? No thanks.)  I could go on, but I don’t want you to start thinking I’m a selfish loser.

I am not a selfish loser, but I am tired, and distracted with details of keeping tabs on the baby nail clippers and making sure there is always milk in the house.  Lame? Maybe.  But I’d guess I’m not alone.  Anyone else feeling oppressed by having to check in with their partner before they take a shower?

My friend Erika, author of The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy, is embarking on a new project that addresses this situation. She seeks to document how having kids impacts a marriage, and promises to share the results with the world in a book that is yet to be titled.  If you and your partner are willing to INDEPENDENTLY take an extremely confidential survey about life as a couple with children, she’d like to hear from you.

In Erika’s own words: When I became a mom I was floored by how little I’d heard about the everyday challenges that couples face while attempting to maintain a relationship and raise children. Once I joined the club and started sharing my frustrations, however, close friends with kids freely spilled the beans and I learned that our family was not alone in our struggle to find balance and an overall sense of peace in our new roles. Their confessions got me wondering…Why aren’t we openly discussing these realities so that we can support, empathize with, and help each other as we embark on one of life’s most worthy challenges?

She wants me to also say that in order to protect the privacy of contributors and create an environment that is safe for complete honesty, all answers will remain confidential, unattributed, and unrelated to partner’s comments in the book and in general.

If you are up for it, send her the info below via email at erika @ therealdealguide.com. Your contribution promises to help thousands of parents better understand, accept, and appreciate the lives they are leading.

First name:
Last name or initial:
City of residence:
Number of children:
Age of child(ren):
Email address of parent 1:
Email address of parent 2:

I love this idea that Thrifty Toddler shared as her favorite rookie year outing during our recent blog blast: Start a weekly Breakfast Club. She and her girlfriends take turns at each other’s houses serving breakfast and drinks and allowing the babies to play (or just roll near each other as the case may be).

She’s enjoyed meeting women she might not otherwise have met and the babies get to grab and slurp on all new toys. They’ve been going strong for over a year now.

It’s cheap, it’s social, and it’s breakfast — what’s not to love?!!

Related links:
>> Full story on Thrifty Toddler
>> Favorite pancakes on 101 Cookbooks
>> My favorite cheap mocha at home

I’m not really so much of a treehugger myself. I’m all for the values associated with it, I just don’t like being cold or wet, so my hiking adventures are limited to sunny days. But not too sunny, because I don’t want us to get burned.

Hiking is such a great thing to do as a family, though. Going for a hike takes you away from the house, the chores, the tv and computer. Babies usually are soothed by the light and air. Preschoolers are intrigued by every stick and leaf on the ground. Compared to Heather’s family who is on a car fast this month, mine hardly remembered it was Earth Day. Something to improve on for next year, I suppose.

Another pair of Bay Area moms just let me know about their blog, Tree Huggers In Training, on which they review local trails (both paved and off-road) from a new mom perspective, paying close attention to trail conditions, weather conditions, and general “Goodness, how would I do this with a baby?” conditions. Dana and Beth hope that new (and expert) moms, as well as dads, use the site as a resource to get out and enjoy all walks and hikes that the area has to offer.

They encourage us to take the Treehuggers In Training Oath, centered around three “B”s: beverages, blankets and bumcover disposal methods:

1. I promise to pack beverages - Milk for me (in whatever form I prefer) and water for mom
2. I promise to never leave the house with out the blanket- on which to sit, with which to cover, and to share
3. I promise to be responsible with my bumcover- Tree Huggers always pack out what they packed in. A ziploc is your friend.

Help the TreeHuggers build their reviews of outdoor excursions by taking one yourself and then sending them a write up. Send them a note at reviews AT treehuggersintraining DOT com. Even if Dana or Beth have already reviewed a hike or a piece of gear, they welcome all other first-hand experiences.