This post originally ran a few years ago.
I love our very sweet caregiver for Scarlett. She comes to our house three times per week, for five hour shifts, to allow me to do some of the freelance writing and marketing work that I do.
Around here, it’s pretty common to set up what we call a “nanny share”. In our case, another mom drops her daughter off at my house and our nanny watches both girls. We each pay her two-thirds of what we’d pay if we had her all to ourselves, so she gets to make more money hourly, while we save money.
It is very important to me to keep our sitter happy. If she’s happy at work, she’ll have more patience with my daughter, more flexibility towards me, and we’ll all be happier.
Money fits everyone.
It gives the person you value the option to do what they want. A gift certificate is thoughtful, but it takes the control out of the hands of the recipient. In this special relationship between a parent and a household employee, it’s nicer to just give her the choice.
How much do you give a nanny for a holiday bonus?
If you’re new to this game, here’s what I’ve gleaned from my city’s parenting online community. One to two week’s salary is an appropriate holiday gift. You can pro-rate this for the year, so if you’ve only employed the nanny for 6 months, give half that amount. If she only works 20 hours, adjust accordingly.
Other tokens of appreciation
My friend Lisa has a picture of her nanny with her child displayed among the family photos on their mantle. From an ethnographic study of nannies I did many years ago as a Sociology student, I know that this particular meaningful gesture that is appreciated.
More info about hiring a nanny
For those who have smaller babies and are going back to work in the near future, your relationship with your child’s caregiver is one that you’ll want to take care of. In Oakland, CA there is a wonderful organization called Bananas that provides help to both parents and caregivers. Among their online resources (good for parents in any area of the country) are the following handouts:
- Employing a Limited-English-Speaking Caregiver:
Ideas to help parents hire and retain caregivers who are not fully proficient in English. - Sample Employment Agreement for Parents and In-Home Caregivers
I call this a “nanny contract”. - Your Rights and Responsibilities as an Employer of an In-Home Caregiver
How to hire a nanny; how to interview a nanny. - Breastfeeding and Working
Ideas to help plan a schedule to combine nursing with working.
One week salary. Or one night for the occasional sitter.
In addition to that, we also used to pay our regular nanny for 2 weeks of vacation at the end of the year, since she never took paid vacation plus an additional 1 week for sick pay (she was never sick, so reliable! I miss her).
So, if you’re keeping track that’s an extra four weeks of pay to come up with at the end of the year. In order to not go completely broke, we took a little of the romance and mystery out of the process and paid her one extra check every other week until we got to the desired amount.
If the element of surprise is important, you could set aside money in your own account and still pay the nanny all at once.
Now that we’re in a preschool/daycare arrangement, we think that applying the same one week logic is good. We contribute it to a big fund that’s divided among the teachers.
Thanks for the useful tips, just in time! I will make sure my nanny gets a nice gift. She is awesome and I feel so lucky! When I started to look for a nanny, I wasn’t even hoping to find someone as great as she is. By the way, I have written a post about how to interview a nanny with a list of questions and the reasons why you should ask them. I hope it is OK to share a link here, there are two parts:
http://www.baby-log.com/baby-life-from-9-to-12-months/working-mom-get-a-nervous-breakdown-or-get-a-nanny-part-2/
and
http://www.baby-log.com/baby-life-from-9-to-12-months/working-mom-get-a-nervous-breakdown-or-get-a-nanny-part-3/
Agree completely with Heather. It’s always 1 week (or more) for the regular nanny, and for a sometimes sitter, an extra day’s pay.
We also try to figure out a personal gift, plus something from the kids. Last year we had a tote bag embroidered with a photo my (then) 4 year-old drew of her holding her coffee in the morning. She adored it!
The link is here: http://www.coolmompicks.com/2010/09/special_gift_to_say_goodbye_to.php
That’s my holiday gift strategy, too!