A few months ago, I was the audience of Heather’s constant complaining that no shirts were long enough to cover her pregnant belly. She, however, has a tattoo that peeks out from above her pants’ waistband, so her final months of pregnancy are a nice opportunity to show that off. She is also in possession of that peaches and cream skin thing, so her hard, round belly looked like a delicious scoop of vanilla ice cream.
I don’t have a cool tattoo, and I have a map of the Los Angeles freeway system rendered in blue veins across the sides of my stomach, so the fact that my shirts are no longer meeting my pants is now irritating to me. This is not a view of myself I want to share with the world.
Before I file a lawsuit against Motherhood Maternity for portraying themselves as sellers of maternity clothes that last through a full pregnancy, not just until seven months, I might consider giving myself a humorous temporary tattoo. I think these are quite funny, and so is pretty much everything else sold at perpetualkid.com.