Today we’re hearing Erica’s story as our third Fearless Friday post. Have your own to share? Send it in!
My boyfriend, Andre, and I are first-time parents. My daughter Jordan is a preemie and was born three months early. She remained in the hospital for five months before we welcomed her home. Naturally since she’s been home, I’ve been a little over-protective and will admit to sheltering her more than I need to.
She was so tiny and I didn’t think anyone would know what to do with her in the event of an emergency if I wasn’t there. For a long time, I was scared to leave Jordan with anyone. Even Andre, her father.
Andre lives in Pennsylvania and I live in New York. When he asked to take Jordan with him to his house for the week while I rested at home, without hesitation, my answer was “NO.” End of conversation. I refused to let him watch her for more than a few hours, let alone a few days. However, eventually we came to an agreement. I agreed to watch him take care of her — with little to no supervision — at my house for a week. Depending on how he did, we would talk about him taking Jordan to his house.
It wasn’t easy to refrain from doing certain things like feeding and bathing her, but I did stand back and just let him do it instead.
Two months later I finally agreed to do the unthinkable. Granted he overfed her once or twice. And yes, he gave her a bath inside of a plastic shoebox instead of her tub because he didn’t know the difference. But, I knew that he would never get the hang of parenthood with me watching over his shoulder. So I put my fears aside and let him take his daughter with him to Pennsylvania for a week.
Since then, we haven’t looked back. Jordan is now one year old and goes with her dad every weekend. I have been able to catch up on some sleep, and Andre has been able to bond with his daughter. We haven’t had any problems to date, other than a slight cold and runny nose they both had when they came back to New York, which was from me (but he doesn’t know that. Shhhhhh).
This post is part of Fearless Fridays, a series sponsored by method who make green home cleaning products. If you are already a fan, join the people against dirty™ at facebook.com/method.
That is beautiful! I love how you learned to let go and how Jordan is thriving with an active Daddy!
I am so glad you gave the father a chance to spend time with the child even though it may be difficult for you to allow that since Jordan was 3 months preamie
Erica, I love the compromise that you came up with for him to take care of her for a week with your watchful (but standing back) supervision. And the part about the plastic shoebox = classic!
Thank you, I have no regrets. Im glad i took the chance because everything is sk much easier on all of us.
I wish i wouldve recorded the whole shoebox ordeal, i know my initial expression was priceless.