• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Products / Baby Gear
    • Best Mom & Baby Products
    • Ultimate Baby Registry Guide
  • Pregnancy
    • Prenatal
    • Breastfeeding
  • Baby
    • Month 1-3
    • Month 4-6
    • Month 7-9
    • Month 10-12
    • Second Year
    • Toddler
  • #MomLife
  • About Us
  • Nav Widget Area

Rookie Moms

Pregnancy > Parenthood

You are here: Home / Dear Rookie Moms / Should I have a second child?

Should I have a second child?

17 shares
  • Facebook1
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn

We received this letter and thought our readers could extend some empathy and perspective to “Kate”, who is having trouble deciding if a second child is in the cards for her and her husband. I wrote her a note below, but I hope you’ll respond as well.

On deciding to try to have a second child. Or not. A perspective from rookie momsDear Rookie Moms,

My little one is turning two this month and I’m starting to process the idea of having a second child, but not feeling like I come to any good conclusion about what to do. Growing up I always assumed I’d have two kids. I held onto that thought until I gave birth. Then, my immediate reaction was, “No way am I ever doing that again!” That feeling has faded, but the challenges of juggling work, home, parenting, marriage, friendships and family relationships has not. Some days I feel like we get through better than okay and have a great time. Other days I want to walk out the door and never return.

So, I find myself wondering the following: Can I handle having a second child and stay sane and like my life? And, how do I make that decision?

Any input from other moms on how you made the decision to have or not have more kids would be very welcome!
Thanks,
Kate

Dear Kate,

“Will I like my life?” is a powerful and important question.

Although I personally felt no hesitation in having a second child, I have absolute respect and understanding of why you do. (P.S. I was totally compensating for being an only child myself, so my motivation was transparent and unwavering.)

I know that Heather waffled for a long time on a third child and made a pros and cons list in addition to using a Dr. Phil-inspired exercise of embracing the intention NOT TO for one week and seeing how that feels… and then the following week, embracing the intention to GO FOR IT to see how that feels. I think that means saying things to yourself like, “When the baby comes, we’ll move near my mother/buy a ski house/work an extra job” or “When Eve goes to elementary school, I’ll invest in my brother’s company/get a dog to keep me company/plan to spend summers in Europe.”

On having a second baby

Second kids grow up to be full-on family members

I would also think about what each unit of five years might look like with or without another child – the under 5 years, elementary school, high school, college – because it’s easy to focus on having another “baby” and forget that you’re signing on for another person in your family.

Other questions to ask yourself: How will you feel if you were surprised by a pregnancy? What advice would you give to someone else who asked you, “Should I have a baby at all?”

Cheering you on,

Whitney

We would love to hear from other women who planned their childbearing thoughtfully and what swayed you to have a second child.

August 1, 2016 7:10 am Whitney Filed Under: Dear Rookie Moms, Having 2+ kids

Don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter

Primary Sidebar

Search our site

10 Best Strollers In 2023 – For Every Mom’s Needs!

10 Best Strollers In 2023 – For Every Mom’s Needs!

The 15 Best Nursery Gliders for 2023! [Traditional to Unique]

The 15 Best Nursery Gliders for 2023! [Traditional to Unique]

The 50 Best Toys for 2 Year Old Boys in 2023! [+ Toys of the Year]

The 50 Best Toys for 2 Year Old Boys in 2023! [+ Toys of the Year]

The Best 20 Stay at Home Mom Jobs in 2023!

The Best 20 Stay at Home Mom Jobs in 2023!

10 Amazing LGBTQ+ Children’s Books to Celebrate Pride Month

10 Amazing LGBTQ+ Children’s Books to Celebrate Pride Month

Toddler Won’t Stay in Bed? 6 Must-Know Tips for Toddler Sleep Regression

Toddler Won’t Stay in Bed? 6 Must-Know Tips for Toddler Sleep Regression

Join our Rookie Moms Facebook Page

Rookie Moms

Disclosure

Review Policy
Privacy Policy

This site is an Amazon affiliate.

Popular Articles

150 Unique Middle Names for Girls

Footer

Browse By Age

  • Pregnancy
  • Month 1-3
  • Month 4-6
  • Month 7-9
  • Month 10-12
  • Toddler
  • Preschooler

Problem Solving

  • Sleepy
  • Eating
  • Breastfeeding
  • Home
  • Baby Registry
  • Pregnancy
  • Baby
  • Toddler
  • Preschooler
  • Baby Gear
  • #MomLife
  • Holidays
    • Holiday Gift Guide
    • Holiday Entertaining

© Copyright 2016 · Pretty Lifestyle WordPress Theme by: PDCD