What is a parent coach good for?

by on October 24, 2012

in Mommy,Preschooler,Toddler

When I read an email from Kassandra, a mom in rural Missouri who does parent coaching via Skype, I challenged her to explain to me what a parenting coach could provide that we don’t get already from our friends or other trusted sources.  I thought she did a darn good job of answering, so I wanted to share it here.

The short answer is that the services I offer are akin to those of a guide for a pilgrimage, a midwife, and your best-listening friend all rolled into one.

You know your children’s worst behavior that drives you crazy; arguments with your spouse around parenting, family, sex, and balance; stony silence with your parents or in-laws about your kids? Why do these things drive you crazy?  How do you react when your spouse is a jerk, your children won’t cooperate, and there are three million things on your “To Do” list? They are all catalysts for your own inner journey. We just need to listen to their coded messages.

At parentcoaching.org, I listen to you without judgment.  I help you get honest about where you are now, get focused on what you want, and teach you to use practical tools to create your own reality. Let’s take a closer look at what all that means.

It’s All About You

A good friend can offer a lot that is very complimentary to parent coaching, and yet there is nothing like having all the focused time and attention on you with no need to reciprocate. Most of the time, our mom friends are very busy with their own lives and want to talk as well as listen. It can be hard to get the time and focus each of you need in order to go deeply enough inside to find your own answers.

Parent coaching offers you deep listening. I will listen to you until you are done. Both you and I arrive on our call with the strong intention to support you in resolving your conflict or challenge. Paying me gives you permission to go deep and to focus on yourself and the issue that’s really bothering you without wasting time.

The majority of our time together will be focused one-on-one time where we talk about you. I’ll listen and get to know you then we’ll dive in to the question or concern that brought you to me.  I’ll use questions to reflect the focus back to you to help you laser in on your own answers. Your problems are too complex and difficult for me to solve. Only you have the skills and information to do that. I have the skills to help you get to your own answers.

Accountability

Parent coaching also offers accountability. Mom friends often offer us reassurance that they still love us no matter what. No matter how much you talk about wanting to make changes but resist actually changing anything, your mom friends are still there for you. Their unconditional acceptance is part of why they are so valuable.

I offer another kind of value.  I don’t need you to like me. I am here to help you change your life. I am here as coach, cheerleader, confidante, sounding board, discreet witness, aural journal, fierce compassionate presence, and guide for your own hero’s journey. I want to work with you to go deep into knowing yourself and help you emerge stronger, clearer, and healthier. I will walk with you as far as you want to go into the fire of transformation and I will help you find your way back out again, changed and reborn to integrate those changes into your life. That’s a tall order for a mom friend to fill.

Invest in the Process

I’ll help you clarify your own dreams and goals; learn new tools for healing your relationship to yourself, your children, and others; get daily practices into place to help you achieve and integrate; and feel confident with the process. On average, this takes about three months meeting once a week and is priced at $600. In this way, I’m like a midwife, supporting you in birthing a new aspect of yourself without taking the birth away from you. Once you know you have the strength and tools to handle the challenges and you know you can do it on your own, our work together comes to a close.  I’m always here in the future when you want to tune up your dreams and goals, learn new tools for transformation, or take it to the next level that seems just out of reach. I’m an ‘on call’ teammate, coach, cheerleader, and inspiration.

Your discontent with your children, your relationships, or your life is the catalyst for the journey. Your desires to be the most whole and creative human you can be, to enjoy your children, and to help them be safe and happy are the guiding principles that draw you forward. I am the voice beside you helping you to listen and decode the quiet wisdom of your own inner guidance.

Kassandra Brown coaches parents from Dancing Rabbit ecovillage in rural Missouri. She says that each person she coaches helps her get closer to reaching her dream of living in a sustainable, humane world.

What do you guys think? Is hiring a parent coach something you relate to or do you feel like you have all the resources you need? Have you ever worked with a life coach of any sort?

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RookieMoms.com co-founder Whitney lives with her husband, son, and daughter in the San Francisco Bay Area where she writes about parenting, crafts, and activities that moms can do with babies in tow. She and Heather also publish 510Families.com, a site for East Bay parents and are the authors of The Rookie Mom's Handbook and Stuff Every Mom Should Know.

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