Activity #102: Let her be (AKA Leave your baby alone)

by Whitney on August 22, 2006

in Month 3

No rattling pleaseDon’t be afraid to give baby some alone time in the crib. Do you need to do some online research, uninterrupted? Put away groceries or talk to a friend?

Put some music on in baby’s room, or turn on her mobile and let her be for a while.

Someone told me not to try to make a happy baby happier. Deep thought, eh? I interpret this to mean that a person blissfully staring into space does not need her mother to shake a rattle in her face.

a d v e r t i s e m e n t

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August 26, 2006 at 6:08 am

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelly August 23, 2006 at 5:41 am

What smart advice! I remember a friend telling me that she had not gotten a shower for days because she didn’t think that she could leave her baby for long enough. We all need to remember that some (safe) alone time is a good thing for baby and for mom.

Heather August 23, 2006 at 7:24 am

Yeah, we’re definitely talking about a few minutes of safe time here and there… not like the couple that went out to play video games for a few hours.

Holly Schwendiman August 23, 2006 at 8:59 am

Hey ladies,

Just wanted to say GREAT job on what you’ve done and are doing here. I really wish this had been around when I was a first time mom! I shared that sentiment this morning at: http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/08/23/wish-id-had-this/ Here’s hoping it drives some new moms your way!!

Hugs,
Holly

Lis. August 23, 2006 at 12:59 pm

For sanity’s sake, I totally agree!

Angel August 26, 2006 at 5:53 am

Hi, I loved this tip. SO many do not realize that it is a good parent who teaches a child that he can entertain himself. There is a reason they call them “pack and PLAYS” ,because they are not just for sleeping.
And I love this site altogether, definitely one I will refer to. I love that some of the other ideas (i.e. taking your child to look at the fire engine) are fun activities that are FREE!
~ Angel Cope 1smartmom.com

Elizabeth October 22, 2007 at 3:34 pm

So glad I found this!!! I have just put little Liam down in his crib to fold some laundry and do some surfing on the Internet when it happened…again. The overwhelming feeling of guilt that I perhaps leave him alone too much, whether it’s in his pack-and-play, crib or jumpy seat. Liam is more than capable of entertaining himself for extended periods of time, but I can’t help but worry I am not playing or stimulating him enough intellectually. Time to take a deep breath and know that he’s more than able to let me know when he wants/needs me to do something, including a cuddle or play time, no?

Kim November 1, 2007 at 6:33 am

Yes, Elizabeth. I too am a first time mom and have had the same worries you have. I do believe that they are capable of letting us know when they need more. Remember, take advantage of these moments. They will go through clingy phases too. (such as when sick, teething, or just simply needy). Enjoy each phases and keep in mind that it will pass and return…good or bad. Also, it’s good to have time to “miss” your baby. If you’re busy cleaning away, your baby is perfectly fine alone, and you feel the need to cuddle…take that time. Look at it as a reward for both you and baby. Enjoy every moment! :)

Traci January 18, 2008 at 1:42 pm

I cannot believe it but after googling for 20 mins this is the only advice I have found on leaving your little one alone for a period of time and whether or not its ok. I keep thinking this must be one of those major taboo subjects. My 8 month old is crawling everywhere and we live in a cabin that has so much wood, we could only get one room sanded down and sliver free so far-
so my question was is it ok to put him in his room with his toys and books on the floor and everything non-baby gone- I have really gone to great lengths to make this room as fun and safe for him as possible. I don’t mean for long periods of time, but I have a bread baking business and I would like to be able to take a break here and there to slice apples or do dishes etc… Any thoughts on this? So far every time I have put up the gate he goes straight up to it and cries pitifully until I can’t take it. And I don’t feel right just leaving him to cry, but I also know were not supposed to train them we’ll come running every time they cry. Where’s the middle ground? Thanks for being out there and reading this Mom’s!

UmmeAaiman July 27, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Up until now, I suffered great guilt trips that if I didn’t spend ALL my time with Zahra (my 4 month old), it meant that I was neglecting her or putting my leisure ahead of spending quality time with her… and that it was my whole duty to make her play and I have to talk to her all the time!!!

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