
Years ago, Heather talked about using a voice recorder to capture all the little thoughts with which she wanted to interrupt her husband Alec while he was at work. This was when she was at home with baby Holden, who did not give her the verbal acknowledgement she needed to feel validated throughout the day. (At two months old, he didn’t say, “Thanks for washing those sheets I just peed on.” Nor did he say, “What you’re doing with your life is totally worthwhile. I promise.”)
After comparing notes, we concluded that I am not quite as inclined to need to tell my husband every thought that enters my mind, although I have been known to post on Facebook multiple times per day and text Heather rather than him about my minutiae. As for Heather, she now sends her random thoughts into the Twittersphere where her husband may or may not see them.
Gosh, I hope Alec saw the ones about the plumbing issues in his own house!
So am I on the low end of how often I talk to my husband during the course of the day? Many days we have zero communication until he sends a text at 5.45 to say he’s in the car. My guess is that we average 3 communications per day, combining texts, phone calls, and emails.
It’s 11 am right now and we haven’t had contact since he left the house to take Julian to school this morning. I almost texted to ask how Julian’s hairdo went over (a blue mohawk for “Crazy Hair Day”) and then decided I’d just hear it from Jules when I pick him up.
I’m wondering what your pattern is. Do you have a rhythm, like a daily lunchtime check in? What channels do you use to connect — and how has it changed with the advent of the smart phone?
I have this new Windows Phone that I’m test driving as part of a sponsored marketing campaign, so I’m hyper-aware of every missive I send out into the world as I’m re-learning how to text, tweet, and respond to Facebook photos. That screenshot above of Heather’s Twitter screen is from my new phone. Here’s what her Facebook photos look like from my new Windows view.
With all these gateways between our brains and the rest of the world, is it difficult to control the impulse to interrupt your beloved with what you are thinking RIGHT NOW?
This is the first of three posts sponsored by the Nokia Lumia 900 Windows Phone.














For years – YEARS – my husband and I spoke at lunch when he called to check in and at 4:45 when he called to say he was leaving work…or would be staying late. Any other communication had to do with a moment of panic or some similar meltdown during the day. Then one year ago we joined the rest of the 21st century and began to text. In fact, he had his first LOL while I was at the Type-A Conference in 2011. We still aren’t updating each other on our every move, but now I get the occasional “love you” that has nothing to do with lunch or leaving work. It’s a welcome change
My husband called me from work this morning after I told him about this post yesterday. It reminded me that we had gotten out of the habit of checking in with each other during the day, and I missed that. He called to ask me if my work internet was slow, which it wasn’t, but hey, it’s a start, right? And I guess I learned something about internet fiber optic cables in the bay, blah blah blah…
so i guess im in the minority her e- both DH and i work fulltime, often at computers (and of course we have smartphones). one of us starts a gmail conversation every morning with as pithy of a subject as we can invent and we continue throughout the day. busy days, only 5-8 emails, non-busy ones, as many as 25! we’ve been doing this since our days of dating….
Tara, I love that! My two college friends and I used to have a thread that went on forever, all day long. It ranged from “I’m pregnant” to “Did you see the Bachelor?”. Somehow it died out after a couple of years.
My husband and I go some days without a single communication but most days range from 1-5 text/calls (I’m not big on email now that I have unlimited texting whoa-who!) However, most the time I feel like I am bugging him with all the updates, though he says he adores them. With my new Iphone we can do face time, which helps me justify calling him for no reason (it’s for the kid). I also don’t want him to look at the picture of us on the beach and think man….I have six more hours here, shucks! But I just asked him if he ever feels that way and he said no quite the opposite so maybe I’ll increase the updates!
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