I love our very sweet caregiver for Scarlett. She comes to our house three times per week, for five hour shifts, to allow me to do some of the freelance writing and marketing work that I do.
Around here, it’s pretty common to set up what we call a “nanny share”. In our case, another mom drops her daughter off at my house and our nanny watches both girls. We each pay her two-thirds of what we’d pay if we had her all to ourselves, so she gets to make more money hourly, while we save money.
It is very important to me to keep our sitter happy. If she’s happy at work, she’ll have more patience with my daughter, more flexibility towards me, and we’ll all be happier.
It’s time to start thinking about a holiday gift for all of our caregivers. (We have a different sitter for Friday nights.) Before I had experience as a mom who employs a nanny, I thought options might be a thank you card, a photo of baby, money, or a gift card for groceries or Target. Now I believe that money is a must. Money fits everyone. It gives them the option to do what they want. A gift certificate is thoughtful, but it takes the control out of the hands of the recipient. In this special relationship between a parent and a household employee, it’s nicer to just give her the choice.
How much do you give a nanny for a holiday bonus? If you’re new to this game, here’s what I’ve gleaned from my city’s parenting online community. One to two week’s salary is an appropriate holiday gift. You can pro-rate this for the year, so if you’ve only employed the nanny for 6 months, give half that amount.
P. S. My friend Lisa has a picture of her nanny with her child displayed among the family photos on their mantle. From an ethnographic study of nannies I did many years ago as a Sociology student, I know that this is a meaningful gesture that is appreciated.
More info about hiring a nanny
For those who have smaller babies and are going back to work in the near future, your relationship with your child’s caregiver is one that you’ll want to take care of. In Oakland, there is a wonderful organization called Bananas that provides help to both parents and caregivers. Amongst their online resources (good for parents in any area of the country) are the following downloadable flyers:
- Employing a Limited-English-Speaking Caregiver:
Ideas to help parents hire and retain caregivers who are not fully proficient in English. - Sample Employment Agreement for Parents and In-Home Caregivers
I call this a “nanny contract”. - Your Rights and Responsibilities as an Employer of an In-Home Caregiver
How to hire a nanny; how to interview a nanny. - Breastfeeding and Working
Ideas to help plan a schedule to combine nursing with working.
If you are inviting others to celebrate the big ONE with you, make some plans for it. Make it easy on yourself by delegating food and decorations to anyone who volunteers to help.
