Month 2

Somewhere in Connecticut, totally unbeknownst to us, a pregnant Jessica Rich started looking for some peers and pals having babies around the same time and created the first ever Rookie Moms Meetup. Now the group is up to 18 moms. And Jessica is set to have her baby any day now.

They get together for strollercize, playground playdates, and other rookie-mom challenges that Jessica sets out for the group. How awesome is that? And why didn’t we think of it? A group of rookie moms is using our book as a springboard for their new mama adventures. We couldn’t be more thrilled.

To create your own group:

1. use meetup.com (like Jessica), mothersclick.com or even Craig’s List to find local, like-minded mamas.
2. pitch out ideas with locations and dates (not everyone can do everything, but try to get and keep dates on the calendar) — you’re the Julie McCoy
3. go with the vibe of the group.

Sometimes it can be hard to be a ringleader for a group of sleep-deprived and busy women trying to keep to nap schedules. We’ve both tried it. For years. With mixed levels of success.

I asked Jessica all about their group (and how they found the book) and how it was going and she told me:

I honestly don’t remember where I heard about your book, but I remember thinking “I need a copy of this!” and went out to Barnes and Noble that day and picked one up.

The northeastern part of Connecticut is kind of sparsely populated and there are not a lot of mom’s groups in the area. To be honest, there’s not a lot of anything in our area. This part of the state is called “The Quiet Corner”…We’re getting a Target this fall, its a big deal.

When I got pregnant, I started looking around for a mom’s group. I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t find anything right here. All the groups were in Rhode Island or the southeastern part of Connecticut.

I wanted something in my backyard, so I started a group. I really didn’t have the faintest idea what I was doing (still don’t, to be honest). I was surprised and excited when someone joined my group (nobody wants to be that kid in school that’s all by themselves on the playground, especially since I really was that kid…I didn’t want to be her all over again as an adult). Now there are more than a dozen of us, which is saying something given how small the overall population is here.

Obviously, necessity is the mother of invention. Whitney and I created this website as our means to cope with boredom and loneliness and to reach the goal of having something fun to do with our babies every day. Jessica and her friends found their own forum. You go girls!

If any other readers are in rookie moms meet-up groups, we’d be happy to feature you on rookiemoms.com, drop us a note.

Whether you’re a total zen mama or a skeptic, I highly recommend learning a few techniques of infant massage. You can enjoy some quiet time and get to know your baby’s tiny developing body AND often get the kid to chill out and go to sleep. Win win.

I took a short workshop in baby massage with my mom’s group and picked up a few other pointers in a kick-ass mommy yoga class. Only one baby had to leave early for having a melt-down. The Baby Whisperer book has a ten-step plan to great infant massage (that I’ve used for reference).

Ease into it and stop if either of you are too bothered to continue. It can be fun for both of you even if you are making it up as you go. Then you can build up to a longer massage when you’re both ready.

Some quick tips and ideas:

• Keep the room warm and cozy - maybe throw some hand towels in the dryer beforehand (one for underneath and one to cover the baby while you’re working on other bits).
• Talk through what you’re doing (i.e., “I’m making swirly motions on your teeny tiny foot with my thumbs”).
• Use a little bit of olive oil on your hands.

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Cori Howard, author of Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood wants to encourage us all to write down our “momoirs”.

To get started:

1. Get a notebook and to keep it with them at all times. You never know when you might find a spare few minutes, or when and where your little angel might fall asleep. Having a notebook means you’re a mobile writer and all moms are mobile!
2. Have faith in your own story. There’s a lot of writing on motherhood out there, but each of us has a unique perspective and a one-of-a-kind experience and almost all the moms I know, never tire of hearing new stories.
3. If you get stuck and don’t know where to start, to just pick a topic: preschool, the dinner table, saying goodbye, faith. Those usually spark some amazing stories in my classes.

She also tells us:

In the crazy, overwhelming chaos of everyday life as a mother, there is so much to write about, and so little time. From memorializing your daughter’s sentences to your inner struggle with your post-baby identity, there are a millions stories you want to remember. The first thing I did upon becoming a mother (after the identity crisis, the ambition crisis and the marriage crisis sort of subsided) was write a book, an anthology about all this struggle (Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood).

After receiving dozens of emails from women wanting to know if there was a sequel and if I was interested in hearing their stories, I decided to start teaching “momoir” classes, helping women get their personal experience with motherhood into well-crafted words, whether it’s for themselves or to publish in a magazine or as a book.

If you want to learn more, or read some of the new stories written by Cori’s students, check out: TheMomoirProject.com. Canadians can find in-person classes in both Toronto and Vancouver too! Or grab her book, Between Interruptions: Thirty Women Tell the Truth About Motherhood.

Related activity: Track your new mama milestones