My son is on Spring Break, so I am probably busy building a fort. Therefore, we have a guest post today! Laurie and I were co-workers three hundred years ago (in Mom Time) and as I watched her Facebook posts come through since she became a mom, I was impressed. I asked if she’d like to share some tips with other rookie moms, and she sent me these ideas for sneaking in naps for pregnant career women.
“Rest up. You deserve it!”
This is great advice. As a mom-to-be, one is going to be tired. Ridiculously tired. “Who am I and where am I?” kind of tired. All of the pregnancy books say to listen to your body and rest whenever you need to, which for me, would have been every waking hour of the first trimester. Trouble is, I HAVE A LIFE! And I imagine you do too.
Like many women in their first trimester I hadn’t revealed my pregnancy to those around me, so it might have raised suspicion if I began to nap on the lobby couch at work. I was already struggling to keep up appearances as my fatigue was making it difficult to express myself in meetings and was zapping my short-term memory. Thank goodness for to-do lists!
I just wasn’t ready, or able, to let pregnancy exhaustion take over as my prenatal yoga instructor advised: “Don’t hold back ladies! Listen to your intuition!!” she chanted as she outstretched her arms, closed her eyes, and sighed a long deep sigh illustrating how she and the sidewalk became familiar when she succumbed to a nap during one of her recent walks. “Don’t be afraid to nap, WHEREVER you are!”
Hmm, right. Will do. Right after I throw my self-image that I have so carefully crafted these last 30 plus years out the window. Add my career to that as well.
So how do we take care of ourselves, our growing babies, and our responsibilities in the first trimester?!! I can’t say I fully figured it out, because most of it is simply survival. Perhaps the biggest comfort is that it does get better as the morning sickness haze rises in the second trimester. So hang in there. In the meantime, take a “relaxation binges” whenever you can to make the first trimester more bearable.
Tips for taking a relaxation binge:
- Have your partner pick up the slack. When I arrived home from work my husband would often have dinner ready. That was awesome! On the nights I was extremely tired, I would eat my food (whatever I could manage due to nausea anyways), give myself a few minutes of upright digestion to avoid heartburn, and then head to bed. Even if I left the kitchen with a pile of dirty dishes. Your partner may be the only one who knows that you are going through this, so lean on him (or her) for support.
- Go to bed early. I used to pride myself on being a night owl. But during the first trimester, I was in bed before most toddlers in my neighborhood.
- Take a sick day from work (or life) if you need to. My performance at work is important to me. So on days when I felt there was no way I could keep up appearances of being a productive powerhouse, I called in sick. Again, since I didn’t have the luxury of resting whenever I needed it, these occasional daylong relaxation binges got me through the most difficult days.
- Find a private space at work to relax. I slept in my car on my lunch break from time to time. Another day when I was nodding off midafternoon and my boss caught me with my feet up on my desk, I decided a micro-nap was in order. Venturing out to my car wasn’t appropriate at this time of day, so I snuck off to a small conference room in the back of the office that was tucked away from heavy traffic. I blocked the door with a chair, curled up on the carpet, and used a stuffed otter that I had at my desk as my pillow.
- Save the baby preparation for later. No need to get a jump on buying the perfect crib or planning your nursery décor. There will be plenty of time, and more energy, for that in your second trimester. Focus on downsizing your overall to-do list for now.
Thanks, Laurie! Laurie Peterson is an award-winning toy designer and marketer — and mom.
So, did you guys have any difficult first-trimester moments at work?
[photo:Kyre Wood, on Flickr]
Love this! I remember turning out the lights and lying down on the small-group table in my classroom during my planning time. One of my male coworkers (whose wife was also pregnant at the time) came in, laughed, and when I apologized said “Hey it’s cool, you’ve got a nuclear reactor at work in there!” It’s so much easier when you’re surrounded by people who’ve been there!
I tried to keep it a secret at work, but I was a lifeguard, and my co-workers needed to know why I might rush off deck to throw up. And there was some lying on the first aid bed, I almost passed out a couple times. A few people just had to find out, sometimes it’s unavoidable.
I had such a terrible time with fatigue during my first trimester. My husband tried to help, but he really doesn’t cook or clean – so I was kind of on my own there.
I told my boss, and the coworker I share an office with, hoping that I could glean some sympathy through the sickness and the fatigue, but it seemed very much the opposite. Common responses to my constant dozing and heaving was “well you wanted this”, and “don’t make me kick you in the uterus”. That one was obviously a joke, but it sure didn’t make me feel any better.
I am in my second trimester now and still often get comments like “stop complaining or you’re going to drive everyone crazy!” (My boss asked me why I was stretching, I said ‘my back hurts’) I have since learned to manage side effects in silence!
I have learned that most people don’t care about your discomfort. They want you to smile and do your job. There have been a handful of pregnant women that have come and gone from my department, and their treatment was equally harsh.
Great tips though! I definitely took advantage of the lunch time car naps and going to bed at 7:30 – and soon we will be able to enjoy the fruits of all this laboring
I was on a summer softball team when I was 8 weeks pregnant, and threw up in the outfield in between batters. I would also have to take mini-naps in the dug-out, so there was no hiding the first trimester from my team!
Whitney, thanks so much for posting this! In the late nights after baby Avery is asleep, I am working hard on more “grumpy girl” material for “Grumpy Girl’s Guide to pregnancy.” I’d love to hear from ya’ll on your grumpiest moments.
laurie@sfgirl.us
Rest up!
Laurie
I was in a big high power internship at the time and I was having to throw up every hour (which becomes exponentially worse when you are a subway commuter and people think you are lazy when you ask for a seat!) The position probably didn’t turn into a job due to the amount of bathroom breaks I had to take. For me, I always jumped at the chance to do as many tasks as I could that required me to get on my feet when I started feeling drowsy so I could make it through the day without looking like a slouch. (Though I did take many lunch time naps as well!)
I was complaining of heartburn and being tired at work and a co-worker suggested I might be pregnant. Since I was, and it was a secret, I retorted back “Maybe you’re pregnant.” Needless to say she wasn’t surprised when I finally announced my pregnancy, and she let me nap as much as I wanted in our office.
Great! It’s always so healpful to know the TRUTH in order to prepare for what lies ahead! Thanks Laurie for such great advice!
Loved reading this and so true! Like Kylie I took my naps in the classroom as well! I could not wait until nap time so that I can lay my head down on my desk and pass out!! My assistant ended up figuring it out because it was so unlike me not to be planning for the week or the next activity. At times I just wanted to curl on the floor with a blanket with my students for the rest of the day!!
Emily I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time! Wish I could be there to help support you. Hang in there.
Laurie (a.k.a. grumpy girl)
Emily, your situation sounds DREADFUL! Pregnancy is hard enough without having to deal with all that! Keep your chin up and don’t forget to take time for yourself – if nothing else, to get away from the callous and insensitive morons in your office. Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and a better workplace in the future.
Good grief, I was worthless at work during my first trimester. Fortunately I have an office door to close and camping equipment… no joke, I brought in my sleeping pad and made a pillow out of my jacket. I somehow kept everything hidden (except my barf face scrambling out of meetings) until 16 weeks. Good luck to all those in the thick of it! It gets better soon!
I took naps under my desk. It wasn’t often, but I did it. My coworkers would encourage me to take naps, but I didn’t want to be seen doing it for fear I’d be judged. No one ever found me under my desk!
I also went home for lunch and took naps on a regular basis. You just have to do what works in those early days.
I am currently in my first trimester and really needed to read all your comments.
I work for myself, so I don’t have to hide anything from collegues. However, I feel so guilty! I am nauseus 24/7 and mind numbingly tired.
My husband is great and so supportive. But I don’t know how to explain why I am so useless and can’t stay in a vertical position.
Whew!
THis is how i am , I do a load of laundry and i feel like i worked at 24 hr shift…Grrr I finally just told my work im too sick to do anything and am not coming in until i feel better
It has been great reading all of your comments! I teach first grade and this will be my second child! My son is two! I am only 6 weeks and feel as though, I must be dying from some unknown disease, and that pregnancy cannot possibly be making me this tired! I did not feel this tired the first time around! Although, the first time around I was 33 and 34! This time it will be 36 and 37! I really thought it was an age thing, but now I am thinking no, every pregnancy is different! I am an extremely hyper person and now doing one moderately involved task is a struggle! I am fortunate because I do have a very helpful husband and supportive family, however, I am not sure how long my husband is going to be so helpful! I guess I need to say my prayers that he’ll continue to have patience with me! Best wishes and good luck to all of you!
Oh, do I relate. I teach at a university and one of my students totally called me out in class the other day. I’m normally really hyper and I had her over the summer semester as well. I haven’t been able to stop yawning while I’m teaching (3 hour block classes, to boot) and she was like “something is going on with you, I’ve never seen you yawn in the 6 months I’ve known you.” After class she asked if I was pregnant, I fessed up because honestly I needed to tell someone!
It’s really easy to keep it from my boss and co-workers because as a teacher (especially as a college teacher) I never see them, but my students all know something is up. I went from being annoyingly chipper and hyper to yawning non-stop and letting class out early because I couldn’t stay awake. I’m really hoping next semester (which will start at the beginning of my second trimester) goes better!
THANK YOU! I’m in my first trimester with my first baby and I haven’t told anyone at work yet and don’t plan to for a few weeks. I have been trying to find ways of coping, but have had a hard time finding someone to address this exact situation. Today I really wanted to throw 3 co-workers out of my office before I bit their heads off with my tired/grumpy responses. I feel encouraged and enlightened!
It’s so good to hear, I’m in my 14th week and nauseous 24/7 aswell. I’m praying it will end soon. I said to my husband tonight I think there’s something else going on, I think I’m dying, it can’t be just pregnancy. Maybe because I’m 41 now.? He’s great, but I’m sick of hearing myself complain, especially when I’m so happy I’m actually pregnant. I’m a teacher too, of adults, and I’ve been really ditzy lately in class. It’s great to read all your comments. Good luck to all of you.
I’m in my first weeks and its so difficult, more especially because I feel like something has taken over my body. I’m always tired…….wanna sleep all the time, my work is suffering because I’m not active anymore. When will the fatigue go away. Was thinking of taking energy supplements but I don’t wanna harm my baby.
I am so glad I stumbled onto this site! I’m 8 weeks and whoever came up with the term morning sickness should be shot… I’m nauseous 24/7, and extremely tired! I keep falling asleep at my desk. Several times I’ve been so tired I close the door and just sleep. I sure hope the second trimester is better. I’ve never felt so fatigued in my life! So glad I’m not the only one
Omg I feel so relieved to know its not just me! I am not a nap taking person but the other day I told my husband I was just gonna lay down… I woke up 2 hours later! I’m only 7 weeks but I feel so pregnant! Mostly because I’m tired! But thank you for all the good tips definitely gonna sleep on my car on my lunch!
I’ve hated naps since I was a kid they usually make me feel groggy all day, but now I cannot live without one!
I’m approaching my 11th week of my first pregnancy and I am a college student working as a server. Some days it is impossible to function at work. I forget orders or salads and my short-term memory is foggy because all I want to do is go home and go to bed! Being on my feet for a 6 hour shift is too much to bear when before I would work 12 hours with barely a complaint!
I have to go into work in an hour and I’m about to take a catnap even though I slept nearly 11 hours last night.
I think whenever fall semester starts I might have to stop working because I can’t imagine classes all day and then work at night with no possibility to nap!
I’m fortunate that my job doesnt require me on my feet all day, but good lord! When I leave alllll I wanna do is drop to the floor and sleep. My partner has a very physically demanding job, so it seems awful of me to complain for being tired. but I’m even too tired to complain. I literally feel like ive just ran a marathon. Is it just me… Or do other women wake up with incredibly achy joints? Takes them like an hour to adjust. Its exhausting waking up. Its ridiculous.
I am in my first trimester as well and fatigued ALL THE TIME.
I work as a software engineer in a very high stress, very fast growing company in the technology sector. My colleagues work till late at night, and i used to do so too. Unfortunately, That is the norm in the tech sector..
After getting pregnant, it has just been so hard keeping up with the pressures at work. I am nauseated and fatigued all day, and find it tough to handle the stress of my job.
I spoke to my manager about my pregnancy and of reducing some workload and he wasn’t very supportive. His response basically amounted to “tough luck. No can do”
It sucks that the number of women in computer engineering field is so less, and pregnant women are something of a rarity in this line of work. There is just such a lack of empathy in this field.
Anyway, I am praying that my second trimester is easier on me physically..
Aruna, I’m so sorry to hear that your boss was not supportive of your health! I hope that, if nothing else, knowing that others have felt similarly exhausted makes you feel normal.
I am so guilty of sleeping in my car on lunch breaks!!
Shhh. We won’t tell.
Please help me! How can this be normal? Iwas never prepared for the nausea and tiredness.
My job is suffering too. It’s a new job as a fashion editor and I feel as though my fatigue could be mistaken as lack of enthusiasm.
I’m only 7wks and deep in my buttocks, hips and back of thighs hurt… Is this due to lack of activity? I used to be active, passionate and busy. Now I’m bed ridden and yuk, food, perfume, shampoo anything stinks!
Am I just a moan or do we all feel like this? Xx
@Emmy, Sorry! Getting through the first trimester is ROUGH. Exhaustion, puking, the smells and more. Plus it’s still secret! I discovered my second pregnancy the day after I started a new job. Is there any way you can sneak in a power nap at your desk after lunch? It will get better.
Ah thank you Heather. It’s certainly tough. No I share an office
I would love to tell them but they have major plans for me in the new yr! Oh lord, this isn’t going to go down well. 
will it pass at 12 weeks? I don’t vomit, just constant nausea x
I’m 6 weeks pregnant and i feel nauseous all the time, i want to lay down most of the time, i have 2 boys ages 3 and 2. I am having a hard time cleaning and cooking because of my nausea. My husbands family thinks i whine too much and i’m lazy for not working a minimum wage job to pay the bills. this pregnancy has been horrible all i have is people being negative and judgmental. they make me feel guilty and useless for not contributing to dinner and vacuuming. i cant eat, and i cant figure out anything to cook because im so nauseous all the time. i am having such a hard time, my husband’s entire family thinks im spoiled for wanting help from others. they are completely unsympathetic and i feel all alone, i dont want to bring this baby into this family. i am so depressed.
I actually found out I was pregnant (when I was about 6 weeks along) because I had three straight days at work where it was all I could do to stay awake at my desk and I had no good reason for being so tired! That and the same three days of the smell of coffee (my favorite morning ritual) making me want to puke!