Rookie Moms

I love being a mom. Of course I do. Would I spend this much time blogging and writing a book about enjoying motherhood if I didn’t strongly identify with my momness?

I freely admit, however, that this new hobby job role does take away from my pre-mom hobbies, including the hobby that was my husband and his hobbies.  I no longer go to live music with him. (You’re going to show that starts at 10? Great! Have fun with that!)  I have reduced my offers to host barbecues by about 90%. (Extra grocery trip and clean up? No thanks.)  I could go on, but I don’t want you to start thinking I’m a selfish loser.

I am not a selfish loser, but I am tired, and distracted with details of keeping tabs on the baby nail clippers and making sure there is always milk in the house.  Lame? Maybe.  But I’d guess I’m not alone.  Anyone else feeling oppressed by having to check in with their partner before they take a shower?

My friend Erika, author of The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy, is embarking on a new project that addresses this situation. She seeks to document how having kids impacts a marriage, and promises to share the results with the world in a book that is yet to be titled.  If you and your partner are willing to INDEPENDENTLY take an extremely confidential survey about life as a couple with children, she’d like to hear from you.

In Erika’s own words: When I became a mom I was floored by how little I’d heard about the everyday challenges that couples face while attempting to maintain a relationship and raise children. Once I joined the club and started sharing my frustrations, however, close friends with kids freely spilled the beans and I learned that our family was not alone in our struggle to find balance and an overall sense of peace in our new roles. Their confessions got me wondering…Why aren’t we openly discussing these realities so that we can support, empathize with, and help each other as we embark on one of life’s most worthy challenges?

She wants me to also say that in order to protect the privacy of contributors and create an environment that is safe for complete honesty, all answers will remain confidential, unattributed, and unrelated to partner’s comments in the book and in general.

If you are up for it, send her the info below via email at erika @ therealdealguide.com. Your contribution promises to help thousands of parents better understand, accept, and appreciate the lives they are leading.

First name:
Last name or initial:
City of residence:
Number of children:
Age of child(ren):
Email address of parent 1:
Email address of parent 2:

Did you know the Cardboard Box was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame in 1998?

My mom sent me a link to fridgeboxworld.com and I got so excited about it that I had to email the director, April Capil, and ask her to write an activity for us. She has founded a company that produces cardboard boxes especially for the purpose of imaginary play, and she explains, “I brought the cardboard box back via the cardboard-box-with-training-wheels, Fridge Box, as a way of being “green” and encouraging creativity and resourcefulness in the generation behind us. The cardboard box, of course, is one of the few toys made from recycled materials, that can also be recycled when you’re done with it!”

More from April:

“So, you’re sold on bringing back the cardboard box. Now what do you do? Well, start with a box, preferable a big one. It doesn’t have to be a Fridge Box; you don’t need to buy some McGroovy’s rivets (but you can!). Just start with a large empty box and ask your children what it looks like to them. Some may say, “Duh, a box,” but chances are, their imagination isn’t totally atrophied; it’s just been waiting for a workout. Ask them if they think that, together, you could turn this box into something else (if necessary, hit up Mr. McGroovy’s site for some fresh ideas). It’s good to start with a structure (a house or building) or a vehicle (like a train, truck, car, plane, spaceship, submarine, etc.), and let things evolve from there.If you have two or three boxes, even better - see if you can connect them somehow, like a series of boxcars on a track, or a mansion with “West” and “East” wings. Start adding to the box(es) using cutouts from magazines, glue sticks, markers, crayons - whatever you have handy. Feel free to cut out windows, doors, escape hatches… in a couple of hours, you can go to the moon and back in a cardboard rocket with your children - the only limit is their imaginations.

In closing, don’t be afraid your child will scoff at this lowly plaything made of brown kraft. The cardboard box is a favorite of children all over the world, and can provide hours of creative play with minimal costs and a minimal impact on the planet. Best of all, it builds skills that toys with more bells and whistles can’t - creativity and resourcefulness. And who doesn’t need more of that?

In my house, we think it is great to take pictures in the same chair each month (or each week!) to really see the baby grow before our eyes. We got in the habit of dressing Holden up and propping him in the big yellow chair. Now that he’s bigger, our challenge is not to snap the photo before he tips over, but to snap the photo before he lunges for the telephone. Ahhh, progress is a beautiful thing!

Other ideas:

1. Put your baby against a solid color sheet on your bed.
2. Snap a picture next to the same stuffed animal each month to show perspective.
3. Photograph tiny hands and feet next to your own hands and feet.

My husband is a power user of these deal-of-the-day type sites like woot.com, where one item is on super duper markdown until they sell out. He knows where to buy electronics, skater dude gear, outdoorsy stuff, and now baby stuff.

The one he just sent me– BabySteals.com– looks pretty awesome to me. As I am writing this post, they are selling the Blush topless undershirt for 58% off.