What you are about to read was conceived as a “she says/she says” concept, but as we finished writing it together, we concluded it might be better presented as a video. Regardless, this is what it would be like if you were sitting next to us. Except that if you were really looking at me, you might notice that I haven’t yet showered today.
Heather: About two years ago, my friend Karen told me about the no ‘poo movement and I thought it was crazy. She was considering stopping shampoo altogether in an effort to make her hair silky and shiny for her wedding. Already every-other-day shampooers, Rookie Dad Alec and I were listening with attention, but also thought she was a little gross. She mentioned some wacky vinegar potions as a substitute for hair-washing. Ick. Imagine the smell.
Since then, Alec and I have both limited our own hair washing to twice a week. The funny thing is that we didn’t talk about it again until about eight months into the experiment. He said, “After listening to Karen, I only wash my hair twice a week.” Shut up, me too!
Whitney: I don’t really soap my own body, but I have to wash my hair everyday or I go crazy. Other than that I am not a big lotions and potions girl. You’d probably find my medicine cabinet very dull. While an elegant bundle of organic baby shampoo and soap makes a cute shower gift, it’s not high on my list of things rookie moms need.
Whenever folks offer us baby skin care product samples, I usually decline. I don’t lotion my kids on a daily basis. Nor do I powder them.
And oil? What is up with that? Having a received bundles of skin care gifts, starting when Julian was born 6 years ago, we have what I would call a life-time supply of lotions and potions. And you know what NEVER runs out? Baby oil. Because I never use it. So each kit that comes with a wee bottle of oil results in one more unopened bottle on the shelf.
Is all this necessary? Don't babies already have perfect skin?
Heather: Wait! You don’t use soap? Last week, Alec read me this article about a person going cold-turkey with no soap or shampoo for a YEAR without telling his wife. He swears she can’t tell the difference.
Whitney: Bummer for her. I love the way my husband smells after a shower. He’s a rigorous soap user.
Heather: I don’t think I could throw away my bar of soap, but I have no trouble adopting this method for my kids. The boys get a soapless bath every other day. Aside from hand-washing, I don’t think their bodies need soap. They aren’t stinky (for at least a few more years). I also don’t shampoo them — more from laziness than ideology — but I know Alec does.
Whitney: I totally agree that soap is unnecessary for the kids. Plus, washing makes bathtime no fun. But my soap-loving husband washes them thoroughly and our parenting pact is that we don’t correct each other.
So now I will make an exception to my history of not recommending lotions and say that my daughter gets eczema, especially behind her knees (?!) and this exederm brand stuff works pretty well. I put the lotion behind her knees while she’s sleeping, which is the only time she will allow me to do it.
Heather: Ok, if you’re getting specific about what you actually use, I do have a few of my favorite products to share too. We’re not just dousing each other with vinegar potions in my house. There are a few notable exceptions to my lack of skincare product consumption:
- We use “special lotion” as a treat for bedtime back scratches and massages. I got a sample from California Baby (California Baby Calming Every Day Lotion) that we used every night until it ran out. I finally bought more yesterday.
- I love this un-petroleum jelly for everything from chapped lips to dry skin. I also swear by desitin zinc for preventing and treating diaper rash.
- Bubble bath is a good time but probably evil for their skin. Say no to Sodium Laurel whatever-it’s-called!
- When my babies were infants, I massaged them with regular olive oil. Just sayin’
Whitney: Oh, we do have a new addiction: detangler is an every day thing. Ok, not every day (because I only bathe my children every other day — that’s not wrong is it?) Little Twig sent me a bundle of goodies and I love both the packaging and the product. We even used it all up. The conditioning detangler is fabulous because I can let Scarlett rinse it out herself. The fact that it’s leave-in is perfect for her half-assed rinsing process.
Heather: My curly boys get a spritz of detangler too. We like one that Noodle & Boo sent us (at one spritz per head twice a week, the bottle is going strong after 2 years). I also share my own curly-hair spritz by Ouidad.
What’s your take on soaps, lotions and potions? Best thing ever? Or something you could live without?
As usual, love the title of this post… although that song is going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day. I’m more of the everything-in-moderation camp. M bathes every day but I only wash his hair every other day (at best) and a few nights a week we use Johnson’s baby shampoo as bubble bath. Personally, my thick crazy hair is pretty dry, so I only shampoo twice a week or so… but try to take away my soap? Don’t you dare.
I’m ashamed to say that I’m an over-soaper. I’m a little OCD about germs, so my children get a nightly bath, and I take a daily shower. I have to shampoo my hair every day because it’s fine and it looks (and feels) gross if I don’t. I use Baby Bee’s on my kids, or California baby. I try to do as natural as possible. 😐
Soap is an occasional thing for both me and my son. Unless he’s actually visibly dirty, he just doesn’t need it. Sometimes I’ll add a pump or two of liquid soap into his bath. I soap up my sweaty bits but tend to skip the rest, and shampoo every other day at the most.
My mom’s group had one across-the-board request for our gift-exchange this year – no smelly stuff! We all still have shelves full of potions dating back to our first baby showers!
Okay, so sometimes I think this is a difference between whites and blacks. I am black and definitely no-poo my hair. I use conditioner instead of shampoo though and it has never EVER looked healthier. I don’t condition daily. Once a week at most. It does get wet a few times a week though.
I do the same with my biracial daughter. Whenever I meet other moms of biracial children, usually the mom is white and the primary hair caretaker and may have never considered that less is more. I casually mention/suggest/hint that washing with conditioner might make a huge difference for them. Just yesterday a mom in my parent/child class said she was thinking of me that day because her daughter’s hair was a mess and she was about to reach for detangler, but instead went for conditioner. Her daughter’s hair looked GREAT!
I use the burt’s bees bubble bath occasionally for my son’s baths (which we do almost nightly – helps him sleep) and I usually bathe with him then. I wash my hair 2-3 times a week, and I’m going “lo-poo” soon – using a shampoo without Sodium Laurel Sulfates.
I reconfigured my whole skin care regime when I got pregnant and cut out anything with phlalates, so now I barely use any lotions at all – just a bit of sunscreen (a titanium zinc version) when I’m out in the sun and a fancy natural night cream when my face is dry. And perfumes? Not into ’em at all.
I just had a friend tell me she’s gone shampoo-less for a couple months now. I found it fascinating. I couldn’t do it. My hair gets slimy greasy in less than 24 hrs. I would have to lock myself up for weeks until my head adjusted if I were to try to go shampoo-less.
In regards to kids, I just use Johnson’s baby wash on my son’s hair and body about every other day, if that. (He’s 10 months old.) Sometimes he refuses to stand up for me to wash his privates, and on those days I just let the soapy water do its job. Then he gets lotioned with Johnson’s unscented lotion, and I put Aquaphor on his eczema spots. Those are the only potions I couldn’t do without. Baby shampoo, baby lotion, and some type of petroleum-stuff.
I’m a rare soaper. I will use soap if I’ve been playing in the mud or some other super dirt but other than that it dries my skin out. I would love to switch to no poo but my hair is so oily when I’ve tried it I feel stinky and gross. My compromise was Organix Tea Tree and Mint shampoo/Conditioner. I use sunblocks in the summer and a little lotion on my face every morning too.
So the sad truth is, after not being able to shower that much for the past 6 months (after the birth of boy#2), I have unknowingly participated in a no shampoo study. I have said to people that “like an animal adapting to the wild”, my hair stays cleaner looking for longer periods of time. One thing that DOES not work very well for me is Dry Shampoo (basically sprayable powder). I do like Noxzema Face Wipes as a mom product though!
My daughter (2.5 yrs old) has very sensitive skin so I only bathe her when her hair starts to get really greasy…maybe once or twice a week? I’m sure she’d like to take a bath more often since she enjoys it. We use CA Baby shampoo/soap and also their conditioner. I’m pretty lazy and don’t like bath time so I bathe my son (8 mo.) even less. Maybe every few weeks? I lose track, that’s how infrequent it happens. I’m afraid to trigger something with his skin since I have a feeling it’s sensitive as well. He seems fine.
I prefer to shower every day but it doesn’t always happen. I have fine hair that gets greasy quickly so I like to shampoo and condition the ends when I do shower. I typically just soap my sweaty parts since I’m always rushing to get out fast.
I’ve just gotten on the “make your own deodorant” bandwagon and I love it. I looked into going ‘poo free but just don’t have the time to deal with it right now. Based on the fact that I don’t wear makeup and use so few products, I’m going to cut myself some slack about using regular shampoo/cond/soap. Baby steps.
I love the format of this post!
Being Environmentally friendly is commendable but I was shocked you’re advising new mothers to restrict/skip soap! I’m sorry, but haven’t you read the signs in the bathrooms when you take your kids on these outings?! Lotion is not soap and water alone doesn’t cut it; you may not stink, but you’re still dirty (‘Guess that puts me square in the gotta be clean camp).
Oh, I’m soooo glad that I’m not the only one who doesn’t bathe her children every day. My son is bathed every 2 weeks! Seriously. He is going through a phase where he is scared of the tub/drain/water. It is so traumatic that I have gotten really lazy about bathing. Maybe I am not helping him get over his fear. I do wash his hands though (after park/outings and before/after eating). I bathe my 6 mo daughter whenever she has a major blow out. She gets a bath twice a week, barring any major blow outs. Thanks for this post…helped me feel not so bad (though clearly I’m the one that is most lax about the bath!).
Oh, and NO on lotions and potions! None on the babies except Desitin zinc or A&D when there’s a potential flare-up.
i used to feel massive guilt about how often we bathed our daughter. everyone else i know are daily types. at my daughter’s two-year appt, i vaguely confessed to our ped that we only give her bath “every once in awhile.” she laughed and said they don’t need more than once a week until age 10 or so! phew, and i was feeling guilty about our every 3 or 4 days (sometimes 5).
i do, however, make sure to wash her diaper area with a wet washcloth everyday.
I bathe my kids every other day and sometimes less frequently because I can’t be bothered and they already have perfect skin – I hate to dry it out. And I use that Suave watermelon shampoo conditioner soap. I like a good three in one. Although my daughter needs extra conditioner because her hair is a mess. She uses mine.
As for me, I shampoo every other day I just basically trashed all of my lotions and potions in favor of good old fashioned POND’S and now I have great skin. This message is not endorsed by Unilever. It only took me 25 years to figure out what my grandmother had been telling me for as long. Better late than never. http://innertoddler.blogspot.com/2011/01/pondsi-scheme-for-masses.html
@Kara and @Whitney, one of the tricks about cutting back on shampoo is that your hair and body have to get used it. Granted, Whit and I have very different hair, but I find that as long as I’m rinsing it and combing through (those natural oils) in the shower, my hair looks pretty good. The days when I really wash it, its usually pretty dried-out and scraggly.
In regards to the no soap on baby, I find from baby forums that other countries recommend only water for quite awhile on baby. I bathe my baby almost every day and her hair every other day. Then I lather her with Baby Magic in our ritual baby massage. I love the smell. I used to use the stuff myself just because I loved the smell of Baby Magic. For me, I bathe daily and use soap, but I only wash my hair 3 or so times a week. I do like my hair best on the off days except when I’m doing the curly mousse thing. It tends to look best on day one of that regimen. As for facial skin care? I recommend good old fashioned baby wipes 🙂 Started it when I was pregnant at night and now I’m still loving it. I feel clean and refreshed and it takes such little time and costs very little.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I certainly don’t feel bad when I’m running out of time to get out of the house and baby doesn’t get a bath… but…………. I’ve decided that the reason I do it when we’re not in a hurry is because it’s something that I can do with the baby. Period. We’re talking to each other, we’re cuddling a bit and it’s not like I’m just sitting there dangling a rattle in front of her making funny noises. I feel like I’m involved with something with her. Perhaps when she’s older (4 months now), there will be enough stimulating (to me) interaction that I won’t need bathtime.
i rinse my hair a couple times a week with water, condition it occasionally, and that’s it. but i wear a turban, so it doesn’t really get dirty. 🙂
for hair and skin, pure almond oil is a miracle. doesn’t smell, doesn’t clog pores, doesn’t weigh down the hair… it’s really amazing stuff. when the baby comes, i’m hoping it works as well for her as it does for me.