I’m confident that Heather will not disagree when I nominate myself the more fashion-forward of the Rookie Moms. I am more interested in pop culture, more drawn to what’s new, and more willing to spend money on clothes. I am also less likely to leave the house without make up and would never ever wear sandals made by Teva unless I am on a camping trip. Heather might wear them any day of the week.
So, when we peeled off our shirts in a shared dressing room a few months ago, I was shocked to see what was revealed. Heather was wearing a well-fitting lacy bra and I was wearing a plain white, once practical but now saggy, cheap excuse for a bra. She looked fantastic to me, and I, looking in the mirror at myself wondered what I had been thinking when I got dressed.
I was at least 6 months out of nursing bras, but still somehow wearing what looked like it could have been standard issue at a boarding school or culinary institute, had they issued bras along with the uniforms of white coats and chef hats.
Over the next week, this image of my mirrored self in the dressing room kept haunting me. My bras were bringing me down. I like pretty things; I wear turquoise snakeskin vintage shoes. I refashion t-shirts into clothes for my kids! I designed the graphics on this website!
Sigh. It’s part of this whole Being a Mom identity crisis. And this one snuck up on me. I let my bras go all post-menopausal without even realizing it.
I marched myself to Victoria’s Secret and purchased five sexy lacy bras. I felt excited, empowered, and on a mission. I wanted to tell all my mom friends that they should be wearing cute bras, too. I confided in my friend Erin when I visited her house.
Sure that Erin would be wearing something hot under her tank top, I told her of my realization, painting myself first as pitiful and then proudly lifting my shirt and revealing my new hot pink lacy bra.
Erin takes great care of herself, alternating between exercises and massages like no one else I know. “Come here,” she said, leading me into her bedroom. (Any men reading this might be getting really hopeful about where this is going. Sorry, dudes.) She opened her top drawer and showed me two of the plainest off-white bras ever produced. “I just splurged on new bras for myself, and this is what I picked. God! What’s wrong with me?”
I could see the wheels spinning in Erin’s brain, launching into the same identity crisis I just endured.
I was inspired to share this post after she told me that since that day, she has instructed no less than three other women to not allow their standards in undergarment shopping to fall off track.
So, cautionary tale, mamas. When you come out on the other side of the bra-size-changing roller coaster that is pregnancy and nursing, it will be time to reward the girls with a few new bras. Remember, just because you are someone’s mother, does not mean your underwear choices must be Amish-inspired. Pick some color, some pattern, and dare I say, some lift? Now when I see myself in a dressing room mirror, my new bras make me smile – and forget about the stretch marks.
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This was just the push I needed! My girls are drowning in a pre-baby bra that is WAY to big for my much smaller post-nursing chest. I had planned to go to Victoria’s Secret tonight (no lie!) for a new bra and I had already scoped out a nude-colored everyday bra. I’ll probably still get it, but you can get that I’ll be tossing a new sassy numbers in there too.
And for the love of boobs, get yourself properly fitted *before* you splurge.
Most women are wearing a size that they shouldnet be, particularly after nursing!
This is precisely the kind of refreshingly honest story that makes me such a fan. By the way, I just got a promo email from Victoria Secret. Free shipping on orders over $100 thru 8/4 (coupon code: FREE100). Unfortunately I won’t be taking advantage of this because I’m about to enter the not-so-glamorous nursing bra only stage….
One of the best post-partum gifts I got myself was to go to a Nordstrom and get fitted for bras. I’m the same size as pre-pregnancy but things are not quite in the same place. I walked out with some fun bras and they keep everything on file for you so when you need new ones, they pick them for you!
I was hoping it could wait, but I think I need new bras pre-blogher. Time for a bra run tonight.
I’m with Laura — as soon as I’m done nursing, I’m going to Nordstrom, getting fitted and buying some perfect bras. Then, I’m burning my nursing bras.
I’ve been on a spending spree lately, buying clothes, art, glasses and dishes. Bras never even crossed my mind, until now. I hang my head low in shame, and it’s nowhere near my girls, who are hanging much, much lower in a basic white bra. Thanks for the inspiration. I’m going to send my friends at mytidewatermoms.com over here for a “lift.”
I’m a gal, but I have the chest of a 13 yo boy, or similar… Even an A cup is.. slightly too big. it’s quite sad.
I love this post! I have the most boring bras in the world. Always have. The problem is I’m about to have a baby, so I’m doomed to nursing bras for another half a year to a year. Surely they make pretty ones…no? Oh well, I’ll get some pretty bras as a post-nursing treat. A trip to Nordstroms & VS will definitely be in order.
No need to apologize about the bedroom scene. You had me at “when we peeled off our shirts in a shared dressing room”. Heh.
Luckily my wife figured out both the “get yourself sized correctly” and the “get nicer bras” stuff after her boobs changed size post-breastfeeding for kid #2…
Thanks for that!!! I will be starting nursing my third kid in a few weeks and will need this inspiration to remember I am a hot mama still!! Saggy, stretchy, and all!
Amen! Thanks for this post. I am in complete agreement!
To the almost A Jen above: me too! Don’t be sad! I try to think of them as demure and refined … and I shop intimissimi (VS just started carrying some of their stuff) because they have such pretty, soft bras that don’t presume you want padding out to THERE.
The big, unrefined nursing boobies WERE fun while they lasted though … le sigh.
CUlinary school bra… HAHAHAHA! I can’t wait to get out these nursing bras and into something exciting-er again! (Even though I have to say that these Bravados I’ve been wearing are sort of pretty.)
my local shop will convert any bra to nursing for 5-6 dollars. so get nice ones and convert them.
Great post. Getting changed is such a rush I don’t even look just grab nowadays. I have a big mix of multsized bras after 3 pregnancies and nursing. Finding the time to weed out the ones that don’t fit is my problem….and weeping over the ones that look like tents. Never being that size again lol
Nice idea and one I’d love to take to heart. Unfortunately I’m not so lucky as to be able to shop at Victoria’s Secret. See, I was a 40DD before pregnancy. After? I’m a 36-38 DD. I defy you to find anything sexy and supportive in a size that large. You can have supportive or you can have the kind of thing you expect to be there just for show. You can’t have both.
So tell me rookie moms? Where’s the place to shop for good lingerie if you’re a large breasted woman?
(And don’t even get me started on trying to find nursing bras. Now THAT was a fiasco and a half….)
To Leah: what type of shop converts bras to nursing? Is it a local alterations shop, or bra shop? I’m intrigued!
I just finished 3 1/2 years of straight nursing (2 kids) and just rewarded my girls with some lovely new bras! I LOVE them and feel so girlie and extravagant…despite the fact they were totally affordable and from Kohls! I now own leopard print, zebra print and some lovely lacy little numbers (all with supreme lift to get the saggy twins back up where they belong). I even popped for matching undies, which is shocking given that I have never worn matched sets in my life before! It’s a new me!