It started with a plan to drive the family to Walnut Creek from Berkeley for a morning outing. Walnut Creek is about a 20 minute drive from my house but since it’s “through the tunnel” it can feel a lot further. We were going to marry up our errand to the Container Store with a visit to the Lindsay Wildlife Museum. A perfect plan, really, if I do say so myself. A little for them, a little for us.
Elfa org porn, the fantasy
But it was not to be. Holden vetoed the wildlife museum almost immediately (Why? I don’t know. The kid hates new experiences and has to be bribed to leave his Legos on the weekend. Ugh.). Having checked the hours for our destinations, we arrived at the Container Store promptly at 10am on a rainy Sunday morning.
But the museum opened at 10. Not the Container Store. Frak.
We’d already driven soooo very far. What to do? Rookie Dad Alec and I scouted our surroundings and formulated a plan. We killed some time at the Barnes and Noble reading books and playing at the train table, and laid down our bribe of Starbucks’ hot cocoa if we all had good behavior at the Container Store afterward.
Moving on.
We left the bookstore at 10:55 and arrived back at the Container Store at 11:03. I strode over to the Elfa department to announce my arrival. In my imagination, I merely had to say “We’re here at long last to organize our closets,” and they would pack up my car with the perfect system (including the color-coordinated clothes).
Nope. At 11:03, we were too late. The two Elfa organizers were busy helping other customers. WTF, really? We were welcome to wait for a half hour with this handy dandy pager and browse for a while.
Oh no he didn’t. And that was the straw that broke my back. The long morning in the suburbs was the cherry on top of my “two-week home improvement” that has extended past Thanksgiving, Real Hannukah, Christmas, New Years, Rescheduled Hannukah, and almost into Valentine’s Day. That was the moment, when Mommy Lost Her Cool.
Something snapped alright. I chucked the pager across the store. I stormed out angrily. I left my own screaming children in my wake for their (loving and perfect) father to scoop up. I started hitting the sidewalk — and then the shopping carts — with my enormous umbrella until I heard something snap. Hmm, what was that? It couldn’t have been my temper, that’s already long gone! Uh oh, it was part of my umbrella.
The four of us stomped off to the car, Milo screaming and flames still coming out of my nose.
Then I eyed the Starbucks. At 11:15, wouldn’t we all fare a little better with a snack? Even though we had terrible behavior, a little cocoa might calm our nerves.
Sitting there, licking my wounds and my chocolatey drink, it occurred to me that if we had held onto the pager, we’d be halfway done by now. Instead, we had spent most of our morning NOT kitting out our new closet, not having a fun outing, and not playing at home with our Legos. Triple frak.
At that moment, my husband did something really brave. He went back in there. He made some apologies and got our names back on the list. Mortified at my own behavior, I put my raincoat hood up and I went back in too. Together with our children sprawled on the floor, we planned our office closet as fast as we possibly could just to get the heck out of there with a shred of dignity and some organizational supplies.
The joke was on me. Yes, after we made all our choices, they said I’d have to come back at 5pm to pick up the materials. I spared my family the pick up. And I kept my hood on the whole time.
Nothing like a good meltdown to start fresh and rejuvenated, I think.
You aren’t alone. You had good reasons. Despite all your meticulous planning, it was still out of your control.
I had a huge meltdown yesterday, but thankfully I was in the car with my kind/forgiving/stuck-with-me husband, and any noise was completely drowned out the by snowstorm around us.
Besides, those people ahead of you in the Elfa queue should have let you go first, seeing that you had kids with you. If I am ever without them, I gladly cede my place in line for the poor mom who is schlepping her crew.
All in all, well done.
That is spectacular. It’s like all the stress of trying to accomplish ANYTHING for yourself with kids came spewing out!
I had a legendary temper tantrum with one of my boys last year. He was being a typical trying 3 year old. My husband was traveling (like always) and I was hosting a baby shower for a friend who went through IVF. Nate cleared a shelf of cake pans at the craft store so I marched both boys back to the car. I started to talk calmly to him then he started arguing and I yelled RIGHT INTO HIS FACE:
“I don’t effing care what you want!!!”
It felt so good and then I felt so terrible.
We’ve all been there.
@LauraC “I felt so good and then I felt so terrible.” Exactly!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rookie Moms, perpetuallykate and 510 Families, Jennifer Newton. Jennifer Newton said: RT @rookiemoms: Tell us when you had a mommy temper tantrum and make Heather feel better http://ow.ly/3OmyO (please!) [...]
Oh my goodness. I laughed. I saw myself in your story. I cried. I laughed again. Thank you for sharing and remind us that no — not even the super mamas who write the best mommy blog in the universe — are perfect.
HAHA, you really chucked the pager??? i wish i would have seen that!
thanks for the great post, it made my day a little sunny unless the huge storm!
I think in the Mommy world, these types of freak outs are inevitable.
I once actually threw a box of Benedryll at a woman in line in front of me at the pharmacy. I had been waiting for my ear infected child’s antibiotic for 30 minutes after a 10 minute quote and had reached the end of my patience level.
This woman had spent 5 minutes asking the pharmacist a series of questions about her mysterious symptoms…sneezing, itchy eyes, lots of snot….we live in Austin, TX where allergies are in the news more than actual news. Really, she didn’t know what allergies were?
I was completely inappropriate and did apologize/lie/blame my 5 year old. It was not a proud moment. I do stand by the fact that the woman deserved a box of benedryll to be thrown at her, but I should have taken a few deep breaths and restrained myself.
We all have to freak out every now and then. At least no one was hurt during yours…well, except for that umbrella.
Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this and confirming I’m not the only one who has mommy meltdowns!
There are definitely many disadvantages to not living with my daughter’s other parent anymore, such as missing my daughter half the time and missing family life. BUT after reading your post I can safely say there is one advantage. If I want to go to the container store, I can do so on my own.
Even hearing the words “Container Store” makes me have a temper tantrum. What is with the fraking high prices?
I love it when you say/type “frak”. That word is just perfect: it sounds so curse-y, it’s not bleeped, and it reminds me of the days when I wasn’t too tired to watch sexy nerd shows.
I think Starbucks should start an ad campaign featuring you as a spokesperson who explains that the wind down to any adult tantrum should take place at Starbucks.
Wow, what a great hubby you have. I (and I think all of us) have totally been there. Just this morning I’m dealing with kids waking up 4 times in the night and the dog barfing/peeing/pooping all over the house – once at 3 am and once at 8 am – I wish I had an umbrella to break.
Good for you for sucking it up and setting the example for your kids by going back in there and apologizing. I hope your new closest makes you take a deep contented breath say “ahhh” every time you look at it.
Thanks for the laugh – I needed it!
That’s a great story. I’m glad you got what you wanted eventually.
I hope your closet turns out nicely!!!
I wrote a post a while back re: my container store habit.sometimes I feel like the store is the only person (sic.) in the world who understands what I need.
THE ONLY that shocks me about this is that it did not take place at ikea. That place is like tnt to my temper.
I hit a man with a copy of what to expect when you are expecting when he wouldn’t give me a seat on the subway.
Maybe this could be a book called “moms do the darndest things (so watch your back.)
Great to hear I’m not alone!
The Container Store allows customers to make appointments for closet designs, and Elfa becomes under high demand in the last few weeks of the Elfa sale…
You get serious points for even considering taking your kids to the Container Store. As a person who spent her formative years on that side of the tunnel, I salute you (and send sympathy).
Once your closet is done, you’ll know it was well and truly earned.
[...] I can TOTALLY relate (via Rookie Moms): I’m not the only one prone to retail rage [...]
Third party harassment… pregnant or not is not excusable.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves
No wonder your kids are so screwed up–look at the example you give them.
[...] even crazier than usual (see Container Store tantrum) or my radical [...]
Wow. I just came across this randomly and you personify everything wrong with America today. I was embarrassed reading this. Honestly, the trite “there are kids starving in Africa” springs to mind.