Comments on: Why does everything have to be so much frickin’ fun?

By: Whitney

Whitney — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:15:07 +0000

I definitely appreciate your perspective, Solon, but it’s an awful lot of work for parents, and I worry that over time, we are teaching our children that we don’t expect them to do anything unless there’s something in it for them. At some point, we want them to appreciate that they must get dressed and brush their teeth as part of their own self-care duties; they must get in the car because if they don’t, our family will be late.

By: Solon

Solon — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 12:14:14 +0000

Why not? Why shouldn’t everything be fun for children? The grown-up world gets real “un-funny” soon enough. And I firmly believe that toddlers & young children don’t deliberately do some of the things they do after having thought about it for a long time and deciding to be mean or cruel. Childhood is over so quickly so why not let it be fun while you can.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 06:33:45 +0000

My daughter is turning 1 next week, so we are just now getting to the phase where distraction is everything. I had to squeal and ooh and aah at flash cards so daddy could clip her nails tonight. But I wonder, as she gets older, when the time comes for her to do something “not fun”…is she going to have a melt down? Will she “expect” everything to bring her giggles and pleasure? Or does she need to learn to be content in all situations? And how on earth am I gonna teach her that? (sigh…)

By: tobasco

tobasco — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 02:30:58 +0000

I haven’t read the book, but I do use a lot of those strategies. Contrary to what the previous posters are saying, I actually think giving my daughter some control over her life makes the “needs” or “not fun” things easier. Since she isn’t frustrated out the wazoo, she has more patience for things like brushing her teeth and dealing when I say “no”. I do make sure, though, that she knows I’m the boss and not only her friend.

I read a quote recently (and I don’t remember where I read it so forgive me not giving credit) but it was that kids give you the first 4 years of your life back. So true! One thing about having kids I looked forward to was being silly. If you hopped to your car like a kangaroo people would think you were a nutjob. Add a toddler to the mix? People think you’re a cool mom. It’s like a permission slip to not care what people think of you

By: CM

CM — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:43:27 +0000

I agree. Making things fun is a good way to defuse tension, but I think it’s important to also teach kids that there are some things we do because we need to. We went through a long phase where my 4-year old would divide every activity into “play” or “not play” and he put up a huge fight about the “not play” activities. It took a long time before I got through to him that even though playing is good, we need to be safe, clean, and healthy, and there is no point in complaining about it. Even though it might not be fun to brush your teeth, it’s more “fun” than having a cavity drilled.

By: Sally

Sally — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 17:37:42 +0000

I have felt myself being sucked into the mindset that I should just try to make unpleasant things fun for my kids, but recently I’ve been wondering if that isn’t doing them a disservice long term. So many of the things that are necessary in life aren’t all that fun (oil changes, laundry, scrubbing toilets, anything involving a spreadsheet) that it seems like a crucial lesson to learn how to do something DESPITE it not being fun. Not that you can’t have a fun toothbrush, but sometimes you just need to suck it up and get in the dang car.