What to expect when traveling with a baby

It will suck {My personal studies have shown that as long as you expect it to suck, it will probably be okay}.

the easy kind of flying with a baby

You will be pooped on. If your child is beyond the poo’splosion age, expect a bottle to burst, projectile vomit, overturned apple juice, or a simple pee accident. To combat this reality, pack 1 diaper per hour of travel and an extra set of jammies. I love pajamas because they pack up nice and small. Throw in an extra shirt for yourself too.

You will lose stuff. Hopefully, you only lose the poop-stained jammies, but it might be a precious security object, important part of your breast pump, or your cell phone charger. Expect it, roll with it.

You will annoy other passengers. Being the person with the crying baby is no fun. It might make you sweat (it makes me sweat). This coming trip I’m packing two packs of earplugs for every passenger within hearing range; it might not help, but they’ll know I’m trying.

Your kid will be in pain. I don’t know whether teething will start, an ear infection will blossom, or tummy troubles will kick in. I always pack children’s pain reliever in my carry-on even if everyone boarded the plane healthy. That stuff comes in handy!

There will be delays. Whether it’s an airplane stuck on the runway or stopping every 77 minutes to feed a baby on a roadtrip. Expect it to take longer and be pleasantly surprised if I’m wrong (I’m not wrong!).

Your sleep will get effed up for days. Expect an approximate four-day reentry window to train your little one to sleep and wake on schedule again. Coming and going. Room darkening shades can be your best friend but, as with everything else, you might as well plan for sleepless nights.

We do have a few tips and tricks, but I truly find that managing my own expectations and expecting an adventure is more than half the battle. But here you go, some friendly advice:

Happy Holidays, all! I’m getting on an airplane with my newly minted family of five soon. Can you tell I’m nervous? We can’t even fit in one car when we get there!