I was recently reading Amalah’s pregnancy countdown and it struck me: we, rookie moms are frequently lamenting that Nobody Ever Told me this or that about momdom. Somehow, despite the long history of motherhood and friendship, we manage to be nearly completely shocked by some (or all) aspects of having a baby.
I know I was shocked despite the fact that I had obsessively watched Whitney with baby Julian for the 6 months leading up to Holden’s birth. Somehow, she made it look “easy.” I came away thinking that a newborn only needed to eat about 3 times a day like the rest of us. Hmmmm.
Seriously, how many people have been shocked at the challenges of breastfeeding, or the surprise of incontinence, an absolute lack of sex drive, or the body “betrayal” of saggy boobs? Like, ummmm all of us?!
And then I got to thinking about the other side of the coin.
Yeah, how about all that unsolicited advice that Other Mother’s are always trying to dust off and pass out? Outdated tips like putting your baby down on their belly to sleep (it works!), sneaking some rice cereal in the bottle (never tried it), or trying a dream feed to encourage longer sleeping… or feeding tips like which bottle to use or how to make breastfeeding more productive (fenugreek, constant pumping, single-side nursing, tandem nursing twins, join a support group (YES)).
So, isn’t that people trying to tell us all that stuff? Discuss.
I tend to think that the only difference between the advice offered and the advice desired is timing. Exact to-the-second when-I-want-to-know-it timing.