Comments on: What I love and hate about Nurtureshock

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 19:45:49 +0000

YES, I totally loved the book….or well as far as I’ve gotten since yesterday! (I read fast, I’ll have it finished tonight) As a hopeful adoptive parent, I”ve been reading lots of books. I work at a church that has a pre-school and marched down to our director and insisted that she read the chapter on The Tools of the Mind stuff. I so so want our kids to be exposed to that method, even if only a little bit from what the teachers can glean from books. (We couldn’t find any workshops for teachers using it yet) It also made me very aware of how I want to make sure that I praise kids in more constructive ways instead of “you’re so smart” The chapter on pre-school/k giftedness was really informative too…proof that you’ll need to fight for your kid when 3rd grade rolls around! (Which is actually when *my* elementary school started the G/T program I was in 25+ years ago) So, just to throw it out there, I really liked it too…hope you get lots of comments.

By: Rosa

Rosa — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 17:14:48 +0000

Almost done reading this book. I bought it over a year a ago, read the teenage chapter, and then put it down, for lack of time. However, I started to read it again and I am absolutely fascinated with it. I’ve already done research and there are no schools in my area that have tools of the mind. Anyone have a book title they can recommned that has info on that?

By: Noah Bergevin

Noah Bergevin — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 16:23:34 +0000

If you really want a book to help with your relationship with your son, try “Bonds That Make Us Free” by C. Terry Warner. It is another eye-opening book, and not just about relationships with children. You will see both your kids and yourself in a different light.

By: ener

ener — Tue, 24 May 2011 16:33:42 +0000

hi nanda,

i’m a parent in oakland with a 2 year old and 1 year old. would totally appreciate it if you could let me know if you ended up finding a preschool that you’re happy with and maybe incorporates the “tools” curriculum.

thanks!
ener
enerchiu@yahoo.com

By: Liz

Liz — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:16:56 +0000

Hi-
I am reading it, and yes, it is turning all the ideas that I had about parenting on their head…
Am so interested in a book review on this! C’mon Heather, can we have a whole blog post on this and questions for discussion, etc like an online book club?
I’d for sure participate.

By: Robin

Robin — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:06:28 +0000

Jesse: you’re weird.

Everyone Else: I want to know more about Tools of the Mind! I wonder if there is a way to replicate its effects at home…?

By: Feed Me Books Friday: Books for Moms! RefrigeratorArtist.com Blog

Feed Me Books Friday: Books for Moms! RefrigeratorArtist.com Blog — Fri, 21 May 2010 09:40:01 +0000

[...] I first read about this book on RookieMoms.com, and then read an article about one of the topics covered (“The Power (and Peril) of Praising [...]

By: Jesse

Jesse — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 03:02:24 +0000

whoopie-do, good for you that you managed to read the book in one week. Seriously, would you like a medal?

By: Discussing NurtureShock: Talking Race in Mixed Race Families | Mom Blog Work

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 23:49:51 +0000

[...] out together, she mentioned that she really wanted to read a book that had been featured over at Rookie Moms called NurtureShock: New Thinking About [...]

By: Marian Buttars

Marian Buttars — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 20:26:10 +0000

Thanks to your post, I checked this book out from the library and have really enjoyed reading it. I have only read the first and last chapters (and am not really done with those) but it is so interesting to see this different point of view. But I am reading “with a grain of salt” because every parenting book you read will tell you their way is the best way, even though it is completely different from some other “expert” in another book.

With that said, the things they say make sense. Constantly telling your child they are smart may make them feel like failures if they come across something they can’t do well the first time. But I think that telling them they are smart on occasion is a good idea. Everyone needs a little boost and kids need to know they are not “dumb.” If their parents never tell them that, they will believe all the bullies in school who insult their intelligence.

I agree that babies who watch “baby” movies and hear the talking without seeing the face won’t understand as much. It makes sense because adults use facial expressions and lip-reading as important language ques. But I don’t know that it does any harm, despite what the book said. If I am doing all the same things as some other mom in the area of language development, but I let my little one watch a baby movie occasionally, I don’t think my baby will talk any less than the other one.

I am excited to keep reading this book and see what else they have to say.

By: Alissa M.

Alissa M. — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:20:28 +0000

Yes, let’s finally talk about this book sometime soon, please! I’m still not done (maybe will finish when we go to Tahoe this weekend?) but would love to discuss. I also really liked the part about needing to discuss race more openly. I’ve found this actionable already. I sometimes hate his tone and the way he writes about research, as if the rest of us are all stupid. Sometimes seems a bit holier than thou . . .

By: Nanda

Nanda — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:10:56 +0000

the entire book blew my mind and also didn’t alleviate my anxieties about raising my 18-month-old son. i got it from the oakland library – i was #57 on the hold list – but i really want to own a copy just so i can use it as a reference. (i rarely buy hardcover books and try to only buy used, so it’s big that i want to buy this one now.)

the thing that has stuck with me the most is the Tools of the Mind chapter, but that’s probably because we’re beginning to think about selecting a preschool. at the preschool fair in oakland a week ago, i asked countless preschool reps if they’d read NurtureShock and none of them had! i was telling them all about the play plan, etc. they probably thought i was nuts!