Comments on: What does happy look like?

By: Murphy

Murphy — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 15:14:49 +0000

I read a book a while back titled The Geography of Bliss…or something like that. The author went around the world studying the cultures and societies that consistently scored highest on happiness indices. But he sensed something was missing. Bumping into a single mom with a toddler on an emotional meltdown one day, he asked her “Are you happy?” She looked at him and said “You’re asking the wrong question.” Turns out we most want a life worth living.
…”Happiness is an outside job, contentedness is an inside job.”

By: Mariana

Mariana — Thu, 12 May 2011 03:49:35 +0000

Hi from Argentina. I agree with Kirsten and Allie in that happiness is a lot more than how you feel; emotions have highs and lows than usually we can’t even control. But we can decide to be happy, to be grateful fo what we already have…. or we may prefer to feel sorry for ourselves, and be miserable.
By the way, I’m way down on the list of “worst” combinations of children, I have 3 girls and 1 boy!!!! And I can honestly say that I AM HAPPY!

By: allie

allie — Mon, 09 May 2011 02:54:58 +0000

My 3 year old daughter has been asking me lately if I am happy, and every time I say yes. Kirsten has succinctly been able to put it into words better than I can. Happiness is more than how you feel in the moment, and can affect how you handle the momentary lapses into anger/sadness/etc.

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 17:27:41 +0000

Chiming back in to add that I really enjoyed Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project. It made me a real believer in the idea that there’s nothing wrong with striving for happiness, and a disbeliever in the idea that the “pursuit” of happiness will by definition leave one less happy. (I see that idea bantered around a lot – I noticed it printed on a Lululemon bag someone was carrying on the train recently!) Only by being more cognizant of what does and doesn’t actually make YOU happy can you go about maximizing your happiness. And I also like her point that it’s not a selfish pursuit. Being a happy person brings up the happiness levels of those around you.

Joy vs. happiness (as discussed above) does seem like a bit of a semantics game to me, but if the word choice makes a difference to you, then go with it!

And I guess there is some element of personal definition to all this, because I don’t think of my overall happiness as skipping/laughing/being full of energy as much as just being content with my current situation, feeling like I am enjoying the life that I’ve been given rather than struggling to keep up with it.

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:31:35 +0000

Oh crap! I’ve got 2 girls. =OPTIMAL HAPPINESS!
With a 3rd child (sex unknown) on the way. =DOWNGRADE!
What’s a mom to do?

Just kidding around of course. I’m gonna pretend I never saw that list. : )

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 22:04:17 +0000

ooh ooh, the other week on NPR, I heard about this new book by Bryan Caplan called Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids. He based his research on economic practices but his tips and conclusions seem firmly rooted in the happiness project (don’t sweat the small stuff, enjoy your kids more!). Likewise, Meagan Francis unwittingly encouraged me to have more children because SHE became more laid-back as she had more babies. Please let that be me.

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 22:00:51 +0000

Ooooh, good question Whitney. I don’t know about happiness. I know I want it. But, do I have it? Would I recognize it if it slapped me in the face (and would happiness even do that to a person?)? Not sure.

By: Wendy Copley

Wendy Copley — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 21:33:31 +0000

I am just a few chapters away from finishing The Happiness Project so I’ve been thinking about happiness a lot the past couple weeks. One of the points the author makes over and over again in the book that has really struck a chord with me is that happiness is usually relative. People determine their happiness by comparing their current situation to their own past circumstance or other people’s circumstances. Now that I’m paying attention I see how often this is true for me. For example: I’m significantly happier now that I’m on the other side of a recent bout with pneumonia than I was in the weeks before having it because I feel SO much better. I do think it’s easier to indulge in happiness navel-gazing when your basic needs are being met, but because it’s so relative I think you can pursue happiness no matter what your circumstance is.

By: Whitney

Whitney — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 20:45:54 +0000

Well put, Kirsten!

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 19:40:24 +0000

Maybe to some it’s just semantics, but I’m more interested in the pursuit of joy than happiness. I agree, happiness is fleeting and changes from moment to moment. Joy is a state of being and in my opinion reflects one’s view on the world and how we approach each moment. Does my cranky child make me happy? Not particularly, but does having her in my life give me joy? Yes absolutely and no bad day will change that.