Comments on: Were you prepared for motherhood?

By: Brandi

Brandi — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 03:13:52 +0000

I feel like my mom did a great job of preparing me for parenthood. She was a stay at home mom until we were old enough for school and then took a job that still allowed us to be her priority.

I know not every mom has this opportunity, and there were many sacrifices made for her to do it and there wasn’t a whole lot of extra money when i was growing up, but it worked for our family and now i find it is working for me.

As the mommy to two young boys (2 and 3) I left my quite lucrative career to stay at home with them and it’s the best decision I have ever made. I have been given a wonderful opportunity to do some work, part time, from home and stay current in my field, but my family comes first, just like it did with my mom.

I hope to be able to continue to work part time as my boys are in school, they will still need me around, at least as a taxi driver, and there is plenty of time to work when they are grown, as my mom has shown too. After my sister was in high school she put her career back in high gear and is still very successful.

So I guess my mom has shown me that I can have it all, just maybe not at the same time. Right now is the time for cuddles and hugs and giving my boys the stable foundation they need in order for them to be prepared for the world, just like my mom did for me, there’ll be plenty of time for me to work, but the time I have with them is fleeting.

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The Motherhood Manual grows up « The Motherhood Manual — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:56:14 +0000

[...] Were you prepared for motherhood? (rookiemoms.com) [...]

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:54:37 +0000

I clearly had no clue and am in the process of blogging about it all. A lot of it is funny once I’m no longer in the moment (makes for good blogging material!), but at the time… wow, it’s hard. If you want to check out my stories, there at http://twyste.com. They come out every Monday, but my latest post is here- http://twyste.com/2012/01/09/tea-and-beer-or-mother-of-the-year-award-slips-through-fingers/

By: CM

CM — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:00:43 +0000

Interesting comment by The Mommy Therapy about how you can’t really talk to your kids about what parenting is like because you don’t want to burden them with the challenges, or for them to think that anything hard you went through affects your feelings about them.

It’s a novel idea for me that parents ought to prepare their kids for parenthood. I’ve always thought that, like marriage, you don’t explicitly prepare your kids — you try to set the best example you can, you offer advice when asked or when you can’t resist, and you hope for the best.

By: Susan S

Susan S — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:49:06 +0000

My mother completely prepared me to be a working mom. She went back to work six weeks after I was born. She always told me that if you have someone really wonderful that you trust watching your child, going back to work is a breeze. (and while I say all that a bit tongue in cheek, I do think it’s mostly true and has mostly worked for me, too.) What I wish someone had told me when I was growing up was how challenging it is to be a grown up. That surprised the heck out of me. It looked so fun and easy. (What I never learned how to do is cook!)

By: Hanna

Hanna — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:36:17 +0000

When I got pregnant I milked my mother for every bit of information I could think of. I felt as prepared as you can be. Because of course, nothing can actually prepare you for a newborn.

By: Brittany C

Brittany C — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:01:59 +0000

NOT AT ALL! My mom was a single mom most of the time until she decided to get married for a few years. She always worked and I’ve had to learn everything on my own. I’m a wife and mother to 3 and most days I’m flying by the seat of my pants! I wish I had some preparation!!

By: Amber

Amber — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:07:09 +0000

No way. I don’t think it’s possible to be completely prepared for motherhood, even if someone’s mom tried to be intentional about it. My mom was a stay-at-home mom (and also employed part-time working for my dad)…she was involved at school, led the Brownie troop, drove us to sports, piano lessons, church, etc. My brothers are 4 years and 8 years younger and I learned a lot, but I could never have been prepared for that overwhelming feeling of responsibility and inadequacy that kicked in when I brought my first child home from the hospital. The day-in, day-out, relentless schedule. And also the fun and laughter.

The ways my parents prepared me for both work and parenthood were teaching me to follow through, be hard-working, responsible, honest, respectful, and to do my best at everything. Those lessons translate to all of life.

By: Emily

Emily — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:50:29 +0000

My mom prepared me for life. Very well. For college, for a career, for all of that. But, as the youngest child, I don’t think I was prepared for motherhood. I babysat. but that’s not parenting. I watched my sister be a parent, and it looked exhausting. I don’t know that you can prepare someone for motherhood. Because you can tell someone all the wonderful things and you can touch on some of the more difficult things, but you definitely don’t want to paint a picture of what some new parents face. Newly pregnant women don’t need to hear your horror stories either! I think the only and very best way to prepare your kids for anything is simply to try and teach them patience, perserverance and flexibility. With those 3 things, you can survive in the best or worst job and you can enter mommyhood with enough to get you started. On top of that, I’d try to make sure my children learn compassion and that what works for 1 person, will not always be what works for another – so that my daughter doesn’t end up a pawn in the mommywars.

By: Kaydee

Kaydee — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:39:10 +0000

Wow, it’s pretty comforting to see that so many of the comments already give the same answer I have, which is “neither.” My sib and I were raised my a SAHM and a workaholic dad. The main message from them was “school is your work,” and they really did believe that school would provide us with everything we needed to know about how to thrive in the “work world” (whatever the hell that is, as there are millions of “work worlds” out there in my experience). After college I stumbled through a series of unsuccessful jobs and careers and then eventually had a baby that I had NO IDEA how to raise. Ah, good times, good times. I feel like my 7 year old and I (now in my late 40s) are growing up together. Which isn’t fair to either of us, but who ever said life was fair?

By: Whitney

Whitney — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:35:11 +0000

So nice to hear women say nice things about their moms. @Padmini, your comment is just lovely.
@Mommy Therapy, I think my mom did not talk about the challenges because she didn’t want to burden me with them, just as I don’t want to tell pregnant women that childbirth is excruciatingly painful.
@Doin My Best, love to hear your appreciation come through!

By: Katrina

Katrina — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:35:06 +0000

Great post, Whitney. I’m with you. I felt pretty “prepared” for motherhood (if there is such a thing), but being a working mom was a whole other story. My mom worked when I was growing up, and I saw how hard it was for her, but she was divorced, and had her kids very young. I thought if I waited longer to have kids and get married, it would be easier, and in a way it was. But we’re all expected to work longer hours now then people did 30 years ago, and there are much bigger demands on us to help with preschool, fundraise for the schools, etc.