Comments on: Weekly goal: pretending I don’t want more kids

By: Dear Rookie Moms, Should I have a second child?

Dear Rookie Moms, Should I have a second child? — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 03:11:40 +0000

[...] know that Heather waffled for a long time on a third child and made a pros and cons list in addition to using a Dr. Phil-inspired exercise of embracing the [...]

By: jackie

jackie — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 05:05:17 +0000

I feel like I want more kids but my husband feels like a second child most of the time. I see how selfish he is and I don’t want to put myself in that situation with 2 kids. I would love to give our daughter a sibling mainly for the company now and after we (mom & dad) have past away. That can’t be the only reason though I know. I am a year & a half away from finishing my degree & I want that more than a child.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:58:04 +0000

We decided not to have anymore children. I have 3 from my ex husband and he has a daughter with his ex wife. We know have two son’s together. Our youngest wasn’t planned. But when I went to get my tubes tide I found out I was a month along. I got really excited about a new baby. I miscarried the baby at 8 weeks. It stop growing at 5 weeks. Now my husband is back on for me to get my tubes tide and I am not sure if I want to now. I have days where I would love another child and days where I don’t. I am so confuse of what I want. My husband is getting upset and I don’t know what to do?

By: Mary Elizabeth

Mary Elizabeth — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 05:09:52 +0000

We are trying to decide if adding a number 4 is right for us… now? ever?We have three little boys and I can really relate to the woman who mentioned looking around the table and wondering if we are all here. And its tricky being an odd numbered family, who does ride the roller coaster next to a stranger? Our kids are all a year and a half apart (3.5, 2, 8mos) and I am not sure I can handle 4 kids 4 and under but i don’t want the last child to think they were an opps…

By: Charissa

Charissa — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 02:45:21 +0000

I can’t even convince my husband to consider #2. We have a fabulous 17 month old and I don’t want them any closer than 3 years apart, so I have a little time to work on him. I am a little scared of the mind-set that if your first is easy your second will be a terror. We also struggled with childcare early on, so I hope I can feel better about our care choices if we have a second baby.

By: Cecelia

Cecelia — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:44:01 +0000

I will turn 40 this year. I have two children, boy and girl–4.5 years and 19 months, respectively. Ten years ago, I would not have imagined myself having one child, and definitely not two! I just never thought of myself as a mother figure, and I was terrified of giving birth. But motherhood changed me. Oh, I hate the drudgery of it; but my two sleeping babies are the best sight in the whole world. My husband comes from a family of 3 children; so he feels that he should have 3 children. (Why?!) His siblings feel the SAME way.

The financial considerations and just plain fatigue issues aside (I’m too old for crawling on the floor!) I don’t know. Part of me wants that 3rd baby, and it surprises me. I talk about it with my husband all the time; at the same time saying its not the right time.

I can hear the clock ticking–it took me a year to get pregnant with the first child and another year to get the second; but I’m torn. The boy is feisty and a handful; the girl is getting there. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But, I honestly don’t know if I have it in me to do it again. I’m hoping that I have some epiphany that will settle the matter and I will know once and for all.

By: Marketing Mommy

Marketing Mommy — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:13:22 +0000

After birthing #2, I started purging the maternity wear and baby gear. I’m quite sure 2 is the right number for us, so I was unprepared for a new development in our family: my 4 year old asking EVERY DAY if I can add another baby to the family. Pleasing a preschooler is the last reason in the world anyone should get pregnant, but it melts my heart to hear her ask.

By: Barb

Barb — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:43:16 +0000

Heather, you and I are in exactly the same spot! However, I have one huge (HUGE!) thing I want before we have No. 3 (if ever): I want to be able to stay home. Right now I need to work full-time to help support our family, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and if my husband and I can keep up the pace (ie, no layoffs in the near future–fingers crossed), then I think we may be able to swing it in three years. I’m 32, so I have some time to work out the No. 3 issue, but, like you mentioned, we’d need bigger cars, maybe a bigger house, etc., and we take those things seriously.

Also, in three years, I’ll have an 8-year-old and a 4-year-old, so considering spacing is on my mind, too. I love the 4-year difference in my daughter and son now, but I’m not sure how I’ll feel about it with two older ones. Lots to think about. But it helped to hear your logic and know I’m not alone!

By: RookieMom Whitney

RookieMom Whitney — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 01:45:18 +0000

Here’s our strategy: We’re pretending we don’t want anymore forever. We gave away all the stuff, got long term birth control in place and don’t talk about imaginary future children the way we did in between our two. If one day we change our minds, then we can change our minds. We’re open to that. Since the previous two times I was all “oh, I want a baby, I want to get pregnant,” and I don’t think that now, it seems clear to me what the answer is. For now.