Comments on: Two kids are a) more than twice the work or b) exactly twice or…

By: casey

casey — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:19:35 +0000

I have a two girls- born 2 yrs and 1 day apart! One is about 2 1/2 and the other is just 5 months old. I work full time and honestly was so excited to get back into the office today!!! I love my girls so much but it is a lot of work. My 2 yr old is very independent but she is still a 2 yr old and has tantrums and wants my attention. The baby needs someone all the time- she is very fussy and a tough baby (but sleeps great) so my husband and i have to divide and conquer. i am hopeful that it gets a bit easier once the little one hits 1 yr but right now- it seems like double the work!!!

By: Kali

Kali — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:28:48 +0000

I absolutely love this post because I am infact a newly married woman with no kids (yet). I want two children and I feel like after the first one the second will be a breeze. Okay maybe not a breeze but I will be at ease about knowing what to do if something happens and about schools and the basics that I learned with the first. This has helped me realize that what I have felt is mostly true. I do know that it will be twice as hard with the second but isn’t it always worth the hard work in the end? I think so!

By: Ellie

Ellie — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 04:43:38 +0000

My two are 15 months apart. Yes, it was planned and we got what we wished for. A lot of people told me I was crazy when I got pregnant with my second when my son was only 6 months old. I was a little hurt but now I get it. I wouldn’t change anything because I have my daughter but advice to others is give it a little more space between. We have two in diapers, two in cribs, two in highchairs, double stroller etc. My son was just starting to walk when my girl was born and juggling a nursing baby and a young toddler is busy and there is NO break. EVER. We don’t have child care. My husband works 12 hours a day so the care is mostly me. I got in a routine and got them on the same nap/sleep schedule which helps but it is very hard. We had them so close because we thought we wanted more but now I am not so sure. It is a lot of work. The good parts are that my son adjusted instantly to a baby in the house and was so young, he didn’t know the difference. They play and LOVE each other. They learn so much from each other, especially sharing. They are the best kids EVER (I know everyone feels this way). At this point I can barely remeber only having one but I know when I go the the grocery store with just one it is like heaven.

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 23:23:37 +0000

For my family, at this point in our lives, having two children is twice as much work and our daily lives are a logistical ballet. Our boys are 4 and 6, they attend two different language schools in Oakland and Berkeley. We live in Alameda and my spouse and I work in SF. My 4-city commute home from work with pick ups at both schools averages 1.5 hours on a good day to 2 hours in the rain.

Yes, my children are often the first to be dropped off and last to be picked up at school but honestly I would not change a thing. I also know this two school thing is only temporary. For us having two children is twice as fun and twice as sweet.

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:33:45 +0000

I have 17-month old twins, so seeing as they’re our first, I can’t really say if two is more than twice the work or not. I do know that I see my friends with only one child being able to do things that I just couldn’t do without another adult.
But when they are playing together, making each other laugh, I just can’t imagine having one child at a time. While they might miss out on some activities because of logistics, they have such an amazing relationship which, I think, more than makes up for it!

By: Karen

Karen — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 03:10:45 +0000

My second child seemed easier in terms of the learning curve and confidence in being able to care for a baby/child. I love having two kids–we have one of each and they are almost 5 years apart. however, in some ways it is triple the work, because they have very different interests and personalities, so I have to balance my time between them, but I also have the dynamic of the two of them together, which takes on a life of its own. I try very hard to always be “fair” when I am with them together, such as making sure I am super consistent in how I treat them, in giving them time to talk, etc. But I also have to say many of the most gratifying moments come when I am watching them together, help each other, laugh together. Love your blog! Best, Karen

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 22:45:50 +0000

My 2nd son was born right around when our oldest turned 3 (baby is 4 months old now). I think a lot depends on temperament, because we have SUCH an easy baby. Eats and sleeps well; rarely cries; smiles pretty much whenever he’s awake. (Yes, I know how spoiled I am.) But my 3-year-old is quite needy, is FINALLY starting to get potty trained, is pushing the boundaries…and many days there’s no such thing as a break with him. If both kids were high-maintenance, it would be way more than twice the work.

Once I stopped hoping for a nap, which I was able to take when my oldest was a newborn, things got a lot better. Also, I stress out a lot less with baby #2 because I know what I’m doing! So it’s definitely less than twice the work for me. At least right now.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 21:30:12 +0000

I just became a Mother of 2. I gave birth to Booker in March of this year & last week brought home our newly adopted 3-year-old son home from Ghana. Kofi & Booker are two busy boys who keep me on my feet but they adore one another so that makes it much easier. While it’s more work I don’t think it’s twice as much. For me, motherhood is so rewarding I am already thinking about where we will adopt from next.

By: Daina

Daina — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:36:21 +0000

I have a boy and a girl — 22 months apart — and I think that the past year has been more than twice the work. The needs of a newborn and a toddler are very high, and I don’t feel that I have had a moment of downtime for the last year. However, I *think* it’s getting easier. The beginning, with a newborn’s constant feeding and erratic sleeping, is hard to balance with a toddler’s needs, especially when I wanted to give my son attention so he would not feel displaced by his baby sister. As the months passed, we all feel into a schedule: the baby’s sleeping, the toddler’s growing (including potty training — I had 2 in diapers!), and my own comfort with managing two small kids. 1+1=more than 2, but I would not trade it for ANYTHING.

By: LauraC

LauraC — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:35:20 +0000

Having always had two, I will say I think it all balances out over time. I think you have periods of more than twice the work and periods of less than twice the work.

Having twin newborns? MOST DEFINITELY more than twice the work of one newborn. When your one baby was sleeping, you got to have peace and quiet. My other baby was crying and/or pooping.

Having twin 5 year olds? Sometimes they play together for an hour peacefully. Zero work for me.

By: cassidy

cassidy — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:17:20 +0000

i got pregnant with our daughter shortly after our son started walking. he was 15 months, so my due date with her was exactly 5 days before his 2nd bday! having them close together is awesome and hard all at the same time. i was soooo scared to be left alone with them both, but i got over it. people had to go back to work and visitors had to leave. the hardest part was feeling like i would mess one of them up. but, like with having one, u get a routine going and it becomes easy in time. i wouldnt trade my sweeties for anything!! i love watching him dote over his little sister and she stares at him mesmerized! too adorable for words!

By: Jen W

Jen W — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:01:31 +0000

My two are twins, so in some regards it is absolutely more than twice the work. My friends with single babies enjoy all sorts of freedoms I can’t even fathom. We just past the 2-year mark and I am glad to say it is getting easier, at least in regard to logistics of getting from point a to point b. Easier enough, in fact, we’re considering adding another. However, I think having only 1 baby after having twins could be a total cakewalk. Or a complete nightmare. Who knows. What I know now is that my two are pretty much the best thing ever, and they have each other, which single babies do not. And that’s awesome.