Comments on: Twins Week: “Do twins run in your family?”

By: TwinDad

TwinDad — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 17:52:19 +0000

I just respond to the question by explaining that fraternal twins can run in the family, but that identicals like my girls are totally spontaneous and that ours were a complete surprise. I too have wondered if when people ask the question sometimes the background assumption is that we had help.

By: Mandie

Mandie — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 03:32:37 +0000

I can see how getting this question can be bugging. Whenever I got the question I could honestly say “yes, on both sides”. My FIL is a twin, I have an aunt and a great great Grandma (almost my namesake) who had twins.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 13:59:26 +0000

Thank you for sharing your story, I feel the same way about people asking me if twins run in either side of our families. And it is nobody’s buisness. Next time they ask I will say “Now they do!”
It’s not right for people to pry!

By: ashley

ashley — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:49:17 +0000

i would like to add me twins on here too

By: Ja

Ja — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:34:06 +0000

I don’t think anyone means anything rude by asking if “twins run in the family” . I have wanted twins my whole life. It may sound crazy but I think of it like winning a lottery. When I see someone with twins, I wonder…could that be me someday?? You always here about twins running in the family and everyone knows that with fertility treaments you have a chance of multiples. Well, I have none of those odds. So, I am curious if someday I too could have a chance of becoming a mom of twins. Maybe the “do twins run in your family” question seems judgemental to a mother with fertility problems. But aren’t they the ones who are actually judgemental by assuming every fertile myrtle looks down on them for using drugs to concieve. Truth is we really don’t care. We just think multiples are an amazing gift from God..X2 or 3 or 4….

By: Are Twins Taking Over? Yes! | Baby Squared

Are Twins Taking Over? Yes! | Baby Squared — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 21:02:50 +0000

[...] one and which one is the outgoing one?” and ”Did you have IVF?” and “Do twins run in your family?” We will also require that every citizen knows that it’s not “paternal [...]

By: tobasco

tobasco — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 03:01:57 +0000

Here’s the way I see it. The vast majority of people are unaware of just how common infertility is. Couple that with the incredible lack of knowledge people have about twins (for example how it only “matters” if fraternal twins run on the mother’s side) and I truly think the vast majority of people who are asking this question are just trying to make conversation. If twins run in your family then you have a support system to help you deal with the unique issues that come with being a twin mom. If they don’t then you are new to the whole idea of living this lifestyle.

While it may be rude of people to ask certain questions, many people simply don’t know what they’re saying is rude. Besides, if you think that’s rude, just wait until those kids come out and everyone has opinions about everything you do.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 02:48:55 +0000

I have 11 week old boy/girl twins and I am so overwhelmed with the amount of attention they get whenever and wherever we go. I can’t go anywhere without a ton of questions, all of which have been shared in this blog post. Its amazing.

I guess some people may just be interested and fascinated. I never went up to anyone in a store and asked them questions or made comments, so I am a little thrown off when people do it to me.

When I was pregnant I got asked dozens of times by complete strangers “are the natural?” (to which my husband eventually started responding with “no, they are synthetic”) and “was it on purpose?” When they asked the later, I would usually just say “well, when you do IVF you take the chance of multiples” simply because I was so frustrated that people were clearly prying into my life that I gave up and was honest. That usually threw them off a bit.

Now I get questions regarding fraternal vs identical. I always respond “well, one is a boy and one is a girl, so no, they are not identical.” I love the paternal question I get!

I do wonder when the questions will stop. Its fun to get the attention for about 2 minutes, then I am over it! Everything takes longer to do already without the questions and stories about people’s boss’s third cousin’s neighbor’s kid who has twins. Ugh.

I do however still like getting the “awwww, they are soooo cute” comments though. Those are allowed!

By: McMom

McMom — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:30:10 +0000

I just wanted to throw out there for those of you who assume the “is it natural” is an innocent question, that may certainly be the case, but don’t be so sure either. My brother and his wife had twins, and I would get the question all the time when I told people about their pregnancy, “are they natural” and usually after I replied yes, it was followed up with, “wow no fertility treatments?” or something like that, which I think they were comfortable enough to say to me just because it wasn’t MY pregnancy. So yes, there are plenty of people who are asking those questions to get at whether fertility treatments were involved.

By: Núria

Núria — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 07:37:30 +0000

hi again,
when anyone asks me about it, I really didn’t find it offensive. I did it myself, when I was pregnant and found a couple with twins and we started to talk, I took advantatge to ask all about my fears, doubts or experiences. Of course, all depends on the way the question its made. But I really think that twins still fascinate many people. I tried to translate on of my posts into English, the one about topics.

http://thetwininvasion.blogspot.com/2011/07/topics-on-twins.html

I’m really glad to come across that page! Very interesting! And welcome to THE TWIN INVASION!

Kisses from Barcelona, Spain

PD btw, it also happened to me as April explains. I was only on my 5th month and a very nice woman asked me If I was going to the hospital to have the baby. “No madam, I have to wait still 4 months”. She made such a strange look that I started to laugh and told her I had twins. Then she told me she was also a twin, and that her sister died the year before. We had been talking for an hour, and I asked her if I could write a report… I was 100% learning! And a report that touch many people.

By: vanessa

vanessa — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 05:37:04 +0000

I never imagined before that that question could be offensive. I also haven’t known anyone who was pregnant with twins. When at least some people ask they may be genuinely curious. I think it’s really neat how fraternal twins can run in families since some moms are more likely too release 2 eggs. But I think it’s even more amazing that identical twins can just be created out of the blue.
I would love to have twins one day.

By: April

April — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 23:05:27 +0000

I also had a man ask if my twin boys had different fathers? I kid you not. He was implying I was a slut and I guess because mine look nothing alike. I had to have some random man standing by stick up for me and tell the man to leave me alone!

As someone who has had the “Do twins run in your family?” question asked to me about 100 times I can assure you I can tell when it is an innocent question and when it is not. When I say “No” and they smile and say “Wow then what a surprise!” or something like that, then I know they are just making conversation. When I say “No” and then they give me an weird stare and don’t say anything else I know they were implying I did fertility drugs.