Things I wish I didn’t say at 4.42 AM

First and foremost, I wish I wasn’t familiar with what the lighting in my house looks like at this time of night. Sadly, having been in this house only 6 nights, I already know too well how to navigate the route from my futon, past the couch, turning a corner, past two doors into the children’s room.

So I wish I had nothing to say at 4.42 AM. I had already been awoken at 11.30 by Scarlett and then again at 3 am by Scarlett who, after an uneventful nursing session, went easily back to sleep.

But then at 4.40, I heard a small voice in the night call out, “I have a poopy diaper.” I went to change MR. ICANTHOLDMYPOOPUNTIL7AM and it was a false alarm. I was pissed. I put him back in bed and returned to my room. I heard him open his CD player, pop in The Beatles and turn it on.

I quote myself, “If he f***ing wakes her up I am going to kick him in the head.”