It’s Birth Story week. If you’re new here, Scarlett was born in 2007.
I did it! I pushed that baby out of the place through which nature intended it, and it was a much less exciting experience than I expected.
Since my first baby was c-sectioned out of me thirteen days late, I truly didn’t expect the second to arrive before her due date, but labor started around midnight on the third of July, letting me know that my daughter would have a 4th of July birthday. Whohoo! Holiday birthday AND three days early. I’m already in love.
And this time, my contractions didn’t start for a couple of hours after my water broke, so we had a peaceful ride to the hospital, having called The Aunties to come stay with Julian. (My college roommate and her life partner lived down the street from us and were on call until my parents could arrive in the morning.)
At the hospital, I was confronted with paper work and a phone call that made me question my decision to have a vaginal birth after cesarean. The OB on call had to speak to me on the phone and inform me of the risks. I tried to pry out of her what she would do if she were me. No good insights there. She stuck to the book. Then I was asked to sign a document which I found ridiculous, acknowledging that I was taking responsibility for a trial of labor which could go badly. I signed it, outwardly rolling my eyes, but inwardly wondering if I was taking a risk bigger than surgery.
Onward we moved to a labor and delivery room. My labor pains started and I remembered what a woman had told me at the park a few weeks earlier, about the childbirth coaching she’d had that taught her to let each contraction wash over her– not to fight the pain but visualize it opening your body and relax into each contraction. You guys, I live in Berkeley. This is what Park Bench Strangers say to each other. Anyhow, it totally helped.
I wanted to wait as long as I could before asking for an epidural because I was afraid to do anything that might stall my labor. Eventually, the pain became excruciating and I called for drugs. Actually, I asked for intravenous drugs first because my friend Stephanie, a three-time vaginal birth veteran, told me that Fentanyl “takes the edge off” but you can still move around and get up after labor.
Poor choice. I felt high, nauseous, and my vision was blurred for the next 12 hours, even during recovery. Plus, the pain did not lessen.
Eventually, I got the epidural.
As it was being administered, I remember thinking I was going to die. My abdomen felt like it was turning inside out. Another possibility I considered in that moment is that I was becoming a werewolf. I felt guilty for saying nothing aloud except for a string of curse words, because whether I died or became a furry nocturnal monster, Ryan would have had no warning.
Finally, the epidural began working and I returned to human. Someone came to measure my cervix.
TEN! I am kicking ass at this labor!
No wonder I was transitioning into a super natural being. I was ready to push!
Since I didn’t experience it with my first birth, I had built up “pushing” in my mind to be this tremendous feat of which I might be incapable. I was totally surprised by how still and quiet this moment was. With a nurse sitting on my bed and Ryan by my side, I did the work silently and was amazed to hear I was doing it right. The nurse built me up, repeating over and over how strong I was and how well I was pushing. Frankly, when someone has access to your private parts in that vulnerable a position, the only appropriate words to deliver are praise.
However, after 45 minutes, a doctor came in to check progress and started saying that if I didn’t push this baby out more quickly, I might need a c-section. I found this rude and unsupportive and truthfully, I didn’t really believe her. I really wanted her to get out of my way and just let me and my new best friend, the nurse, do this thing.
New Best Friend led me to believe we were almost done and to pay no mind to grumpy-knife-happy obstetrician. Seriously, I bet these ladies have a good cop/bad cop routine going. The obstetrician threatens the patient so that she’ll push harder, then Nurse Best Friend pumps up her confidence. And dammit, it works.
Moments later, Scarlett was born.
Related: I think every rookie mom dreams of a victory baby.
So my victory baby came into the world on July 6 2011(we almost thought we’d get a July 4 baby too!)
I had a c with my first at 33 weeks after 5 days of hospital bed rest with preeclampsia. I don’t really remember seeing her until the next day, and I was determined that wouldn’t happen with my son. My water broke while I was sleeping at 37 weeks. I went to the hospital and bec a friend had recently had a rupture while attempting a VBAC I had an epidural ASAP bec I was not going to end up under general while this baby was born. I ended up with a spinal headache from it after, and my VBAC was successful(and oddly slow paced and uncomfortable with a room full of people waiting for the next contraction while I was spread eagle with a baby crowned:/)
After experiencing both methods of birthing a child, I decided each had its benefits and its downsides….neither was “better”
@Kristal, during my lengthy recovery period from the VBAC, I also felt that neither were better, but my husband claims that I had forgotten how awful the c-section recovery was.
I had my victory baby in February of last year. After my first birth which included a FAILED induction (imagine going home from the hospital STILL pregnant after 3 days) and scheduled C-section at 14 days overdue, I was determined not to carry so long, so we scheduled a c-section for 3 days past my due date. We had bags packed, my mom was already there, and we went to bed planning on going in at 6 AM. My water broke at midnight, we drove to the hospital in the dead of night and 12 hours later I pushed him out in a matter of minutes! I felt both births were fairly easy in their own ways. Recovering from a scheduled C is much different from an emergency C. Your body has experienced no trauma when they cut you and it’s much less painful overall – I have gathered this from the many experiences I have heard about. I consider myself lucky that both of my births were relatively easy and not scary – except for the minutes leading up to the actual birth which went so quickly that they weren’t ready and we had tons of people running around the room all of the sudden. We asked what was wrong and they were like “we didn’t expect you to transition so quickly – you’ve got to start pushing right now!”
@whitney, maybe one of the drugs was amnesia inducing? Lol, I was so sick with preeclampsia that I felt incredibly better after! With my son I had a headache for a week after cuz I couldn’t have the blood patch with my blood thinners:/. Birth is hard no matter what!
My victory baby is about to be one!! Mila was born in December of 2011 via planned cesarean. We found out she was breech at 32 weeks and eventually did an ultrasound to find my placenta was on the right side of my belly and she was stuck. So her squirming her way head down wasn’t going to happen. We are trying for baby #2 and I feel so relieved seeing successful VBAC stories!!!!! I hope that is a road we can go down
[...] between meeting my son and meeting my daughter. 1. My son was born via C-section; my daughter born vaginally; 2. My son is a male child; my daughter female; and 3. My son made me a mother; my daughter was [...]