Well, the first note is that the deed is done. Miss Scarlett is wearing diapers only during her sleeping hours. She hasn’t had an accident for four or five days, and therefore, I am the mother of two potty-trained children, and YES, I WANT A MEDAL.
Next, I’m going to assume that no readers are judging me for potty-training a kid who is so young. I’m assuming you are simply reading with open minds, curious about my experience.
As with all experiences, when you come out on the other side, it’s interesting to consider whether you’d do it again. The answer here is: I don’t know.
On the PROS list, we are not changing yucky diapers, treating diaper rash (an uncommon occurrence for this kid), or paying for diapers, or putting diapers into the landfill.
On the CONS list, our little monkey is nowhere near being able to go to the bathroom by herself, so the effort of changing a diaper is probably about the same as the effort required to take her into the bathroom, get her on the toilet, wipe, pull up pants, hold her up to the sink to wash her hands. Did I mention that she is tiny? When she climbs up to stool in front of the sink, she must still hoist herself up, placing her whole torso on the rim of the sink to reach the faucets. To keep her clean and dry in a public restroom, I will have to hold her up the whole time, which can be a strain.
Hmm. It looks like my cons paragraph is larger than my pros. Let me think of more pros. Did I mention the environment? Oh yes, check. Ok, what about the money? Oh, I already said that.
At the end of the day, this is an anticlimactic event. I am not really liberated from anything, and in fact, I have to be even more attentive to her potty needs than before.
So we did we do it? Why not wait? Because she was ready. Because at 18 months she would pee on the floor on purpose and laugh. At 20 months she started announcing she needed to “pee on the potty” and when we put her there, she would.
I’m sorry this post does not contain a tutorial. I am not qualified to write a “how to potty train” post. I can only echo what everyone else says: The kid has to be ready.
Julian, now four-and-a-half, was more than three years old the first time he peed in the potty. So you know I’m not in a hurry about this issue.
Did we bribe her? Yes, we did. We offered M&Ms as recommended by our pediatrician. (Hey M&M/Mars, how often do you get mentioned in the same sentence as “pediatrician”?) But she didn’t care that much about the M&Ms. I believe she really was intrinsically motivated and that we were just reminding her that she can pee in the potty and hold it when she’s not in the bathroom.
Girls versus boys? I am lucky to be conducting all sorts of social science experiments in my house by having one child of each gender. So based on sample sizes N=1 in each test group, girls are ready for toilet training earlier.
Julian, as some may recall, also didn’t poop in the potty for a few months after he started peeing in it. I called him half-way potty trained for a while. (Now I call him 100% potty trained, although Heather may not since he still sleeps in pull-ups.)
So there you have it. One small package of M&Ms later, I am a certified potty trainer.
Forget it. I’m judging you anyway. You’re guilty, and sentenced to come potty train my next kid if we have one.
Seriously, that’s great! My 2.75 year old son is just potty trained, and he’s still too young to do it all himself too. But even though it’s a pain in the neck to get him on the toilet, etc., at least the hard part it pretty much over. And he WANTS to do it himself since his sister does. I’m just not ready for the mess that will happen if he’s by himself.
Oh, and no M&Ms for us…we’re a Skittles crew over here.
Here’s your medal. It’s a gold one. From Mother Earth.
Seriously, congratulations! My 21 month old daughter isn’t quite ready to train (and I don’t imagine she will be until 2 or 2 1/2, but she did insist on sitting on the toilet this morning. “Poop on potty! Poop on potty!” Nothing happened, but at least she’s interested.
You’re the second friend of mine to potty train a 21 month old girl. And interestingly enough, you both had boys first.
i don’t know who would be judging…we’re all very impressed. and the fact that she was ASKING to go on the potty is pretty fantastic in itself. i do not yet have a child (though i’m only a month away) but many times have i already wondered about potty training and how soon i could try! haha.
Congratulations to all of you! I hope my daughter is like this when it comes time.
My son Milo is completely disinterested. At 26 months. Oh welp.
Well we’ve got 6 months on you (age wise) and Little Dog is pretty much at the same place as Miss Scarlett.
Congrats!!
Ahh… I understand the fact that it is just as much (actually MORE) work with the little ones once they are potty trained. Diapers can wait until it is convenient for you, and you’re in a convenient place – as opposed to “I have to go NOW!”
But, what pushed me over (at 2.5 years, and to switching to underwear at just turned 3), was that the pediatrician mentioned that if she’s ready (which my daughter obviously was), she will regress if we don’t take the next step (ie. not peeing in pull-ups, so why did she still need them? We don’t really want her to realize that it actually is easier to just pee in them!)
So … As you’re dashing off to the 5th bathroom trip of the day, and desperately using and antibac. wipe to clean the disgusting seat (and then dry w/ t.p.) at the mall, at least remember that the training part was easy!!
I am in the process of potty trainning my daughter who is 13 months old. She started to show signs of being ready at 10 months old but being a first time parent did not even think of starting until at least 18 months. But then I started to realize she knows what she is doing so why not just go with it. My hopes are by the time she is 2 years old she will be potty trained. I just don’t want to be fustrated in the future so I started when she turned 1 year old. How can you get mad with a child that young when they are not even suppose to be learning how yet.
[...] Notes on potty training a 21-month old (yep, Scarlett’s trained!) [...]
My girl RJ had really shocking diaper rash for A YEAR– each treatment made it worse, until we finally found a smart doctor who said, she’s allergic to diapers and wipes! Time to potty train! She was about 16 months old. Basically she ran naked for two months and peed and pooped on everything. It was AWESOME! But her rash healed and by 18 months she was potty trained day and night. We just didn’t have the option of diapers anymore, so voila! Wish I could take credit, but, can’t.
There’s an interesting book called “Diaper Free by Three” that talks about the history of the readiness theory with diaper training. That soothed my fears that it was too early. Worth a read for anybody interested in “early” potty training…
Forget about the cons! You dont get to deal stinky poopy! That trump all the cons! I have a 2 year old and a 10 months old. changing poo is not fun. I’ll hold them over the sink all day.
Our 21 month old boy is potty trained! We started with naked all the time, taking him to the potty everytime he peed on the floor. After 2 weeks he got it. He started peeing in the potty all by himself. We kept him naked and always kept the potty in the same spot. Then I realized…we are going to have to figure out how to take this on the road. We got underwear. We put them on him and said “Do not pee in your underwear”. I took him for short drives for errands in his underwear. He did not pee. I put shorts on him and said “Do not pee in your underwear or you shorts”. He said Ok..that was it!!!!! We are on day four! No accidents! He even woke up this morning with a dry diaper. At nap time today we let hime sleep with his underwear on. No accidents! A couple of hours ago he woke up from his sleep and insisted I take his pull off so he could pee. He peed in the potty. We put his pull up back on and he went to bed! I am so proud. No bribing! (not that I am against bribing in anyway…I have 3 children!)
I have a 3 year old step son and my 21 month old son. We finally just got the 3 year old potty trained during the day time, and now I am trying to figure out how to get him to stay dry while asleep so that he will be completely pull up free. My 21 month old keeps saying he has to go potty on the potty, but he just won’t cross the bridge and actually go when we put him there. I have tried EVERYTHING, and I think he is trying to be like his big brother in going to the potty but that he just doesn’t quite get what he is supposed to do when he gets to the potty LOL. This road of parenting certainly is a fun road isn’t it??
My daughter is 21 mos. We have been working with her for about 2 months. Right before we started to potty train we switched to cloth diaper. Two days after we did that, she started to make connections with going pee and having a wet diaper. She just didn’t know what wet felt like with disposables I guess. She has days where she pees on the potty all day and days where she just isn’t in the mood. She does get it though, she will pee on the toilet every time usually. She pooped twice so far, but since then she hasn’t. She knows when she is pooping, she will tell me after she does it and sometime when she is about to. But won’t do it on the toilet anymore. I plan on just not worrying about it and try to lead by example like I have done with peeing on the toilet. She didn’t freak out when she did poop, but I think she is waiting to see me do it more…we’ll see. With peeing, she is earning stickers to put on her step stool. They don’t seem to motivate her to poop on the potty. Not even when I offer two stickers. And candy doesn’t work. She like stickers more I found when we were trying to get her to pee. Now she is running out of room on her step stool
I am working on make sure she gets plenty of fiber cause right now she is getting too much starchy stuff cause I let her eat it if she wants it cause she needs to gain weight. Hopefully the fiber will create a more predictable BM pattern.
Nice to read a successful early PTing story.
I have just started training my 21month old coz she asked to sit on the potty and tells me just when shes about to poop. problem is, she tells me 3seconds before pooping so we never make it to the potty on time.
Also, when we started, she went on the potty almost all the time (pee) but after 4 days, its been going downhill. She just wont go. she sometimes poops on it but thats coz i pretty much know when she needs to poop so if i time it right, she’ll go. she gets a sticker for going which she loves. She is ok sitting on the potty and playing/reading on it. She sometimes gets up from it saying ‘all done’, takes a few steps and poops on the floor.
should I stop thinking shes just not ready or go diaperless (coz i dont think pull-ups are helping at all) and keep going?
I’m really encouraged by all of your stories however i have no success stories of my own yet. i’m still working on it my 22 months old daughter destiny, she would just sit on the potty and just pee i can’t get her to poop in it yet, she showing interest in sitting on the toilet so i’m trying that now to see if it help her to go.
Wish my luck, i won’t give up.
My daughter is 21 months old. We have started to potty train her. We know when she is about to pee as she stops in her tracks and stares down to the floor. We put her on the potty and she does a wee. The only problem is she only says wee wee when she is actually doing it so if we don’t catch her in time it ends up on the floor or in her knickers. Advice please??!!
My daughter is 18 months and I’ve started potty training as well. She has shown so many signs that she’s ready, but I still worry it’s too early. I know that every child develops at their own pace, but I still worry that maybe it’s too early. Regardless, she HATES wearing diapers, and hates having them soiled. In the beginning she thought it was fun to sit on the potty, now I can’t seem to get her to stay put long enough to pee.
I had to laugh at the fact that it’s just as much work with a tiny one as it is to change a diaper…so true! I found this post by googling “20 month old pees all the time” or some such phrase…because every time I turn around it seems, she’s shouting “POTTY!” at me. So, we go through all the hoops for five drops of pee.
Sigh. But hearing her rave about her “unnies” is worth all the work.
Thanks for the affirmation: it IS a ton of work…but she’s ready, she wants to use the potty, and there’s no reason to hold her back. Thanks!
I have an 20 month old son i started at 12 months and stopped im about to start again i need help i guess boys are harder than girls i bought him all the things he wanted like a marvel seat all diff types of kids underwear he have the slip on diapers he will tell me i gotta pee i take him and sometimes he pee and When he do i will hop up and down yelling good job yay and i let him get a potty snack then other times he just sit their for like 10 mins being stubborn i dnt no Wat i should do any advice is needed
Thank you all for sharing. it helps a lot, but considering this site is called rookie moms and i don’t see any replies to all the questions, i think it safe to assume that we are all still rookies at this and once we get it down, we leave this reading through potty post in the dust! i would love to know how it worked for Shannon in 2010. my situation is so like some of these post an i want to know how it turned out. this is my first post Ive ever done and i could use some advice
Hi Yvonne,
It didnt work for us at that age inspite of showing a few ready signs in the beginning. I stopped and tried again and year later and it took just a week to train her and she was fully trained by day 10.
good luck!