The purpose of this post to cheer for some folks and inspire you to vote along with us:
1- Isobel is a friend from my mom’s group, married to her partner Angela and raising a 4-year old daughter, who just got published on The Huffington Post today: For The Fourth Time, Yes I Do
2- My childhood friend Nikki and her partner Renee sent along the picture above of their son Lennox with the subject line OUR LITTLE ACTIVIST. I immediately felt that I needed to get this picture in front of more people. How could one want to delegitimize the marriage of this kid’s parents?!
3- Lesbian Dad, who has a real name that I call her in person but I don’t know if I’m allowed to say it on the Internet, crossed my path on Halloween night when we were both out Trick or Treating with our 4 year olds and 1 year olds (because you see people, we are both parents who love our children in exactly the same way and love our partners too and should have the same exact protection under the law because we, me and Lesbian Dad, are both human beings). I think I just lost control of that sentence, so let me start a new one. Lesbian Dad was dressed as a No on Prop 8 message. Because, as she says, it’s malarkey.
Enough already with the cruel attempts to keep our gay brothers and sisters from marrying the people that they love. The folks who have put Proposition 8 on the California ballot for tomorrow have employed a crazy fear tactic to get votes. The commercials warn that gay marriage will be taught in elementary schools.
I don’t even want to go through the list reasons that this is upsetting for me. I want to instead say that Heather and I want you to vote tomorrow. Please vote NO ON 8.
PS: Heather really has a gay brother and I have a gay college roommate (sister-esque) — so “brothers and sisters” is not just some weird Berkeley saying I like to use.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
What a wonderful post! When you talked about Lesbian Dad I don’t think you lost control of the sentence, but I do think you channeled her writing style for just a moment.
Hurray for us all and may the force be with us!
I’m tearing up at Isobel’s article. I’m with you girlfriend. If only my gay brother could legally vote in California — he’s in a swing state — he’d be with you too.
I wish I could vote with you all. I had no idea what a problem others had with this until I moved into a state where so many are against it. Hopefully one day everyone will be able to stop hating and just love each other.
I am respectfully unsubscribing from your blog. This is not the type of content I expect from your blog, nor the type of content I want to read in a “mom blog”. I realize that moms all feel differently about this issue and wish you the best of luck.
I am sorry to see you take this position. I believe strongly that traditional marriage between a man and a woman should be protected.
Good for you, Rookie Moms, for taking a stand against this discriminatory and unfair proposition. I just posted about this today at LA Moms blog http://svmomblog.typepad.com/la_moms_blog/2008/11/being-a-christi.html (hope you don’t mind me linking). I have many friends who are yes on 8 and I respectfully but firmly disagree with them. That’s fine if you believe in “traditional marriage” – but the state should not be denying fundamental rights based on people’s religious beliefs and/or prejudices.
I’ve avoided talking about specific politics on my blog for fear of offending someone (and in Colorado, we have so little of national import to stand on), but I commend you all for standing up for what you believe in. I’m so tired of politics and lawmakers trying to legislate anything about what people do on their own time. Sure, affording homosexuals the rights of traditional marriage may rub some folks the wrong way, but it doesn’t really matter in their lives, so who are they to say one way or another?
I just feel like we spend so much time trying to tell our children to play fairly, not judge others unduly, but then go and say that some people are bad and don’t get to do what everyone else does because of they way they were born. No fair!
I am respectfully subscribing to your blog. This is the type of content I admire and respect in a mom blog. Especially one written by two moms (although yes, of course, I know that you aren’t “two moms” in the sense of “two moms” that would make this post even more relevant). :}
Take a position in everything you do. Remaining neutral on the issues to keep subscribers happy and reading is the death of conversation.
At least some of the comments were polite or are you filtering them? I love the pic.
I agree with you.
It’s just as scary as the adoption ban. As my husband said when we read about this proposal, “So you’d rather allow a kid to languish in some foster system than to be adopted into a loving home. How unfortunate your bias precedes the welfare of a child who asks for nothing but love.”
Rookie Mom – I respectfully disagree with comments #4 and #5. Good marriages (and parenting) don’t require a specific balance of X and Y chromosomes. Please keep at it.
I hope one day this country will see this issue for what it truly is: civil rights. All people should have the right to live and love the way they see best fit for themselves. It was not that long ago that basic civil rights were withheld for African-Americans and women.
TURN DISCRIMINATION OFF!
It is hard for me to understand why people discriminates. Sexual orientation should not be an issue, is like asking people to be blond or have green eyes in order to marry or have kids. It just makes no sense to me and stresses me out. I am with you! Why should people have to go thru this? ARGGG!
Yay! Agreed!
Activity #1104: Teach your children that discrimination is wrong by taking them into the voting booth with you when you vote No on Prop 8.
For those who have voiced their support for Prop 8, I understand your reasons for voting for it, but I ask you to please read my comments below with an open mind. Please vote yes on Prop 8. I will be voting yes on Prop 102 in AZ, as my parents and many of my friends vote yes on Prop 8 in California.
Please read the following link in its entirety. If you read it with a sincerely open mind, I know it will ring true to you, as it has to me.
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage
More info:
“Marriage is not primarily a contract between individuals to ratify their affections and provide for mutual obligations. Rather, marriage and family are vital instruments for rearing children and teaching them to become responsible adults.”
Many have called Prop 8 as a “discrimination” proposition. I like to see it as holding on the little strength that our society has. Children who are raised in a loving home with a father and mother that teach them how to act properly in society is the only way to strengthen society. Allowing marriage of any other type will only weaken family strength, further weakening society.
Consequences if Prop 8 fails
1. Children in public schools will have to be taught that same-sex marriage is just as good as traditional marriage. Unless Proposition 102 passes, children will be taught that marriage is a relation between any two adults regardless of gender. There will be serious clashes between the secular school system and the right of parents to teach their children their own values and beliefs.
2. It will lead to more government intrusion into private lives . A photographer in Albuquerque refused to photograph a lesbian couple’s civil union ceremony. The New Mexico Human Rights Commission fined the photographer $6,000 even though there were other photographers willing to accept the business. And this in a state where same-sex marriage is still illegal.
3. It will lead to speech monitors. An employee at the City of Oakland was threatened with termination for using the terms “natural family, marriage and family values” while discussing a public issue with co-workers. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals backed up the district court saying administrative efficiency in a government office is more important than free speech. Today it’s municipal employees; tomorrow … who?
4. Anti-discrimination regulations will become more important than religious beliefs. In Vista, California, a lesbian couple sued a doctor who refused to perform a requested artificial insemination because of the doctor’s religious beliefs. Although another doctor offered to do the procedure, the California Supreme Court held unanimously that the “1st Amendment’s right to the free exercise of religion does not exempt defendant physicians here from conforming their conduct to the … antidiscrimination requirements.” An elective procedure, no emergency involved, another doctor willing to do the procedure. So-called Anti-bias laws will outweigh religion.
5. Churches will be sued over their tax-exempt status if they refuse to allow same-sex marriage ceremonies in their religious buildings open to the public. While pastors, priests, ministers, bishops, and rabbis may not be forced to conduct such marriages themselves, they will absolutely be required to allow such marriages in their chapels, temples, and sanctuaries.
6. Religious adoption agencies will be challenged by government to give up their long-held right to place children only in homes with both a mother and a father. Catholic Charities in Boston has already closed its doors because of the legalization of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.
7. Religions that sponsor private schools with married-student housing will be required to provide housing for same-sex couples, even if counter to church doctrine, or risk lawsuits over tax exemptions and related benefits.
8. Ministers who preach against same-sex marriages will be sued for hate speech and could be fined by the government. It has already happened in Canada, one of six countries that have legalized gay marriage. If a government agency such as the Alberta Human Rights Commission can stop a minister from teaching his church’s doctrine about marriage, then it won’t be long before everyone’s free speech rights will be in jeopardy. In essence, religious leaders will no longer be able to teach or preach against sinful practices.
9. It will cost everyone more money. This change in the definition of marriage will bring a cascade of lawsuits, including some already decided adversely. Even if courts eventually find in favor of a defender of traditional marriage (highly improbable given today’s activist judges), think of the money – your money, your church contributions – that will be spent on legal battles.
Way to go Rookie Moms!
Wendy – I love your suggestion for activity #1104.
Wish I could vote, but I’m still waiting for Illinois to catch up to California.
YAY! NO ON 8! I’m in Ca and will vote NO on 8 tomorrow! Thank you so much for posting this.
Every couple should be able to marry who they love–regardless of gender, color, etc.
I fully support this blog! Even if you don’t believe in gay marriage (that line seems so inane, as if saying, “I don’t believe a person with blond hair should marry a person with black hair”), I WISH everyone were a little more tolerant of others’ beliefs.
I personally don’t like that my friends say grace before a meal, but I’m certainly not going to try to stop them from doing it in their own home; it’s none of my business. Think about it. Just think long and hard about how you’d feel if someone tried telling you you were less deserving of basic rights. It’s plain-old discrimination, and it’s disgusting.
I agree with you, a yes vote on prop. 8 is tantamount to hate, homophobia, and bigotry. Vote NO on prop 8.
As far as the people who unsubscribed to your blog simply because you brought this issue up? Good riddance.
I didn’t know about your blog until I heard on strollerderby that some people were unsubscribing because of your support of equality. Good thing they left by slamming the virtual door or I wouldn’t have heard, gone here, and subscribed to your wonderful blog!
I am respectfully subscribing to your blog as well. It’s great because not only do I support my gay friends and neighbors, I have a 10 month old and would love more stuff to do!
JoEllen. You are misinformed. No churches will have their tax status challenged. No churches will be forced to marry anyone. I’m Roman Catholic. My church won’t marry a man and a woman if they don’t agree to raise their children Catholic. They have not been sued for this, it is their right.
Churches will not be told what to do. Church based agencies that want to act as government agents, as Catholic Charities did (including being paid solely by the government to place children in the STATE system) will have to obey the law. There’s a big fat difference. A Private adoption agency can do whatever they want.
Children are not going to be taught that they should enter into a gay marriage. That’s insane. Children will be taught, as I hope they are now, to respect all of their classmates regardless of their family make-up. Just because Jimmy is being raised by a single mom and Betty is being raised by her grandparents and Suzie is being raised by two moms doesn’t mean ANY of them should be picked on.
And finally. Marriage, as it was understood in biblical times, was between a man and the father of a woman. The woman was property. Nothing more, nothing less. Also, at that time and for many centuries after it, marriage was generally recognized as being between a man and several women. Our understanding of what we will accept as a society has changed over time.
I’m so sorry this passed. Tennessee voted to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage a couple of years ago. I had no idea what a minority I was in (it passed with 81% of the vote) until we had to vote.
I couldn’t agree with you more and I commend you for taking a stand.
I read your blog often, but have never subscribed. Today I’m subscribing because of this post. So while you may have lost some people who aren’t down with love, you’re getting ME!
I came here from a small post on Strollerderby.
I wish I lived in California so I could have voted NO on 8. I am so happy to have helped elect (President-Elect!) Barack Obama, but so sad that as we start breaking down barriers in one aspect of our country’s prejudices, we write new hatred into law. I want my daughter to be able to love anyone regardless of gender. Hopefully laws and propositions such as these will be overturned before too long.
Just stopping by after reading Mike’s post on Strollerderby to tell you that I’m subscribing JUST BECAUSE you were good enough to speak out against 8.
Discrimination is wrong in any format – thanks for standing up for what is right.
I love this post and am excited to keep reading more. Thank you for speaking your mind and for opposing Prop 8. I am greatly disappointed that it passed but am excited about the new era of America that President Obama will usher in. Prop 8 signifies the civil rights movement of our time and I believe it will not be too long before we win. Thanks again!
JoEllen thinks that you cannot raise a kid in a house that has no mom+dad… well you should read some studies about kinds having mom+mom and dad+dad being equally happy.
I have many gay friends with kids and I dare to say there are happier because their parents love each other so much to stand together discrimination and hardship. Many man+woman relationships today would never be strong enough to go thru the stuff they go thru. We have tons of divorces today and tons of kids living world war 3 in their houses and that happens on “traditional marriages”. So really, please do no ever say again kids are happier on traditional houses because just walk around your neighborhood: is not true.