Hooray! We’re happy to share our second Fearless Friday post. This one is from reader Nicole Wiltrout, stay-at-home mom and blogger living in Columbus, Indiana. Nicole blogs about adventures at home and away with her husband and 17-month-old son at arrowssentforth.blogspot.com and tweets at @arrowssentforth.
There were many moments in my first year as a mom when I forced myself out of my parenting comfort zone. My first solo trip out of the house with baby, a trip to the art museum on a rainy day when I just couldn’t handle one more hour in my house, and our first meal as a family of three in a restaurant all come to mind. But one moment stands out in particular, both for the emotional roller coaster it was, and for the subsequent change it had on my life as a mom.
I had been itching to get back into a workout routine beyond pushing a stroller on walks around the neighborhood, and so I found a gym with childcare and signed myself up. But it really hadn’t occurred to me that it would require handing over my son to a total stranger in a strange place until that next morning. I started to get really nervous. But I forced myself to pack a gym bag. I still felt nervous. I forced myself to get in the car. I was crazy nervous. I circled the parking lot. I felt nauseous. I distinctly remember turning off the car, putting both hands on the steering wheel, and giving myself a pep talk. “This will be good for you. It will be good for him. It will make you a better mom. It will make him a more independent kid.” All things I wanted for myself and my son.
So then I forced myself to walk into the gym and up the stairs to the daycare. One of the longest walks in my life. And yes, he shed a few tears when I handed him over. The woman who runs the daycare was kind and gentle, and assured me he would be just fine. And now? That woman (Miss Kerry) has become one of his favorites—his eyes light up and he squeals whenever I mention her name. He reaches for her the minute we walk into the gym each morning. She spoils him rotten and showers him with attention. There’s nothing better than watching someone love your kid.
And more importantly, it really has made me a better mom. I feel better about myself. I’m more active. I have more energy. I’m hoping to run my first 5K in a few weeks. All because I forced myself, one step at a time, to face my fears.
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Run, Nicole, Run!
This post is part of Fearless Fridays, a series sponsored by method (which was founded in 2000, in the dirtiest apartment in san francisco). join the people against dirty™ on facebook.com/method.
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I joined a gym with babysitting, too, and MOST days my kiddos are excited to go. They have two favorites that they love playing with, and give hugs and kisses when we have to say goodbye. It’s good for all of us. There are some days when one or the other (I have twin 2-year olds) doesn’t want to stay, but I know once I leave they are fine, and I assuage my guilt by reminding myself that some people leave their kids in babysitting for 10 hours per day, so what’s one hour in the big scheme of things?
Good for you, Nicole! I faced the same fear with my son this morning. He’s 19 months old and I was really worried. Unfortunately, our gym experience could only be described as “mayhem” – way too many kids with just a couple of adults. I’m going to try again at a less busy time … so hopefully it will work out as well for us as it’s been working out for you. Thanks for your post!
Nicole, I gotta say, I faced many fears as a rookie mom, but this is one that I never really conquered. Every time I would relax into my yoga pose (or my swimming laps), the lady from the child watch would pull me out because baby Holden had exceeded the 20 minute screaming limit.
Hope I didn’t scare anyone off. I am truly proud of all those who make it work. I shoulda tried again when he was a little older.