Both of us Rookie Moms have parents who were divorced before we were in pre-school, and both of us want to have long epic marriages that last for 50 or 70 years (long after our diaper-wearing boys are out of the house). In that vein, here are some of our best tips for looking out for your marriage:
- Go on dates. Figure out the childcare thing and make it happen. Aim for once a week. Commit to every other week.
- Have little impromptu dates at home once the baby is in bed. Light a candle. Try to make a souffle. Have fun with it.
- Have more sex. My friend’s OB told her that if you have sex three times a week for three weeks in a row, it will totally kickstart your libido. From my informal polling, that seems about right. Try it for yourself. The Top Five Parental Sex Aids according to dadcentric may give you some ideas too.
- Be ok with a little counseling. Baby makes three was a huge freaking adjustment for my household and if the same is true for you, it’s ok to find a family or couples counselor to talk through your newfound issues. A mom’s group can also be a big help for the slightly-less-traumatized.
- Have something interesting to say once in a while. Read a non-parenting book, turn on NPR, eavesdrop on the interesting people in your neighborhood cafe.
I’d like to sum up with the words of wisdom our friend Julie told us right before Whitney got married, “Marriage is not 50/50, it’s more like 90/10, sometimes you’re the 90 and sometimes you’re the 10″ so deal with it.
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My wife, Maggie, recently said “You think when you get married that the roller coaster ride ends. Not true, now you just have some one to ride with!” lol.
Does anybody have experience with the “sex three times a week for three weeks in a row” comment? Did it really “kickstart your libido”? It has to be good for your marriage either way.
No comment Rick. Someone thought that was too controlling of me to suggest.
When we got married, the lovely priest that “blessed us” said that in all relationships it is important that both parties try to put in 100 %, not 50/50. And we think it works!