Comments on: Let’s talk about half-siblings

By: Surprised

Surprised — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 17:21:30 +0000

I just found out a week ago that I have not one but two half sisters. Surprising news for me at 52 but my half sisters knew the secret about 30 years ago but were sworn to keep the secret. My two half sisters were only known to me and my siblings as cousins. Turns out when my Mom was young, she got pregnant and since she had no means of taking care of them, she gave the first one to her brother and then 2 or 3 years later, she got pregnant again and gave that baby to her sister. She felt so much shame (she was a product long before the sexual revolution born about the time of the depression) and fear that we would turn away from her that she kept the secrets. My one half sister was just diagnosed with lung cancer and her husband told my mom that if she didn’t tell us, he would, so that made her confess to us. My one half sister would come to our family gatherings and I remember her being there for mothers day in 2010 (her mom who raised her died several years ago) and how strange that must have been for her with all of us not knowing that my mom is her birth mom. It is such a shame that my mom had so much fear and kept her secrets for over 60 years.

By: Karie

Karie — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:46:00 +0000

I have four half brothers. They are all older than me and have their own families and life to attend to. I know really nothing about them, except for their own accomplishments in life. I would love to know them on a personal level, however, there is such an age difference that I know nothing will ever come of it. It would be nice to have my neices and nephews know me and for them to know my father. Although it hasn’t been so bad without them, and although I think about them quiet often I still don’t really consider them siblings, rather second cousins. It’s funny, how much of my life was similar to People Like Us.

By: Debbie

Debbie — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 20:00:39 +0000

I am the oldest of one brother, two half-sisters, and an unknown who I found out about, reading through transcripts of my parents’ divorce, about three decades ago. In the eighties, I searched high and low with the access I had. To date, I have yet to make contact. Before my father died, he wanted me to ask him anything that was bothering me, and so I asked him about this “situation”, assuring him it would be kept private. He smiled and said, I’d like to go home. I never got my answer.
Family is really important to me, and I hope some day God brings this person into my life. We must remember, there’s no reason to blame a half sibling for being part of us, and that siblings, half or not, are in our lives, if accepted, longer than any other relative!

By: Scarlet

Scarlet — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 08:02:38 +0000

I was an only child and as an adult I had two boys 16 years apart, with different dads that are closer than twins. Both of them have half siblings from their fathers side and both choose not to have anything to do with them. Even I have tried facillitating their relationship with their half siblings by having us all meet up at Bar-B-Q’s and inviting them to my teen son’s birthdays, but it just does not seem to gel.

Both of my son’s fathers were poor choices on my part and I think there is a lot of resentment on my son’s part for how lousy they treated me and how neglectful they were of their children, but this should not rub off onto the half siblings.

Anyone have any insight as to why they may not want to have a relationship with their half siblings? On my adult son’s side, his half brothers have reached out to him numerous times and he shuns them. As for my teen, he will communicate with his half siblings, but is not overly fond of any of them. I hate that I can’t seem to bring them closer together.

Being a single and only child myself, I think I would have been thrilled to have extended family and ANY siblings at all. So this just baffles me…

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 14:10:50 +0000

I have a half brother, I’m 19, and he was born in 2000 I’ve been told. I was born in Scandinavia, my father is Moroccan, by mother south american and scandinavian, my parents didn’t get along and got a divorce when I was 2. My mum then ran off with me to Canada for six months, and then to England where I was raised. She wasn’t great growing up, often she was (and is still is) very emotionally abusive, false, manipulative & sly. She also often would hit me, sometimes she gave me huge nosebleeds.
My parents had a ‘custody battle’ because my father wanted to see me but my mum was very possesive, and I think she wanted to revenge him for not loving her anymore, by not letting him see me. I think it pained her to see he cared about me, but had had enough of her behavior. I know now after growing up with her, she is not an easy person to live with at all. But she managed to win custody because I didn’t tell anyone what she was really like, and the courts favour mothers.
But anyway, my grandmother (who thankfully is very mothering and kind, and as a result I see her more as my mother figure) told me I had a half brother as she still lives in the same city my father lives in. He remarried in the 90′s, and had a son in 2000, I think a few years after that he and his wife divorced.
I have been trying to find my brother online for a while, I knew what his first name was (my grandmother told me as she works for the health service) but I didn’t know the exact spelling and neither did she. Then today I found him on Facebook. He has my fathers surname, (which is a very rare surname, so I am pretty sure it’s him) the same first name I was told, looks about 12, and looks like me a little. I was quite shocked to say the least as I’ve never found him when looking online before. But I’m very happy I have. I don’t quite yet feel ready to contact him, maybe in a few months or later next year, but still, it’s a nice feeling to know I have a little brother out there, as I didn’t really enjoy being an only child. I hope someday we can form a friendship.

By: Lottie

Lottie — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:01:29 +0000

I have a younger brother that I lived with from my father’s first marriage and two half sisters from his second marriage. They are 14 and 15 years younger than me and I’ve never met in person other than the older when she was a baby. Their mother didn’t want them to meet me unless I stopped living with my mother and move in with them- the ulterior motive so my dad wouldn’t have to pay maintenance to my mum(? Very odd) -that was 19 years ago and they still don’t have any desire to meet me. I contacted one sister on her 18th birthday via my Dad but she didn’t reply. I don’t understand it at all I have always wanted to be part of my little sisters lives but alas they do not I try not to get too upset about it but it obviously upsets me. My Dad tries not to get involved he says “they don’t know you at all and don’t know what to say to you”…my father is an only child so I don’t think he understands. I’m now 33 years old and just want my family to be together, maybe not all best friends but together.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 10:09:22 +0000

I am one, found out in my early 30′s….

By: Stevi (@steviferg)

Stevi (@steviferg) — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:32:12 +0000

I don’t have any half-siblings, but I do have a unique family situation. My parents took in a 16-year-old foster child after I was away at university. He and my biological brother (five years younger than me) are 5 months apart in age, and graduated from high school together. At age 26, this fall will be our 10th anniversary as siblings. Sometimes people say to me “he’s not really your brother”. And sure, there’s the aspect that we didn’t grow up together, and he and I never actually lived in the same house. But he’s family. Now that my bio brother & I are out of the house, and he’s still living at home, I can say I really appreciate all the help he gives my parents. Maybe it’s because his previous family experiences weren’t so positive, but he has an intense appreciation & respect for the family where my bio brother and I sometimes take it for granted. It’s not the most common family structure, but I wouldn’t trade it. (see a recent sibling photo we took: http://imgur.com/77M8z)

By: Emily

Emily — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 19:51:34 +0000

I find it interesting that I just read this post after saying goodbye to my younger half-brother who was just here for a visit, and we talked about our family dynamics while he was here! I am the youngest of four kids for my parents, and then they divorced and my dad’s 2nd marriage resulted in my two younger brothers. While I lived with my mom, my dad was only a half hour away and I spent a lot of time there too. My younger brothers are just that- nothing different from my older brother or sisters really. They’re all the same level of uncles/aunts to my son, we just happen to have different moms. But I think our situation is COMPLETELY different from half-siblings that are a result of a cheating spouse, especially ones that are only “discovered” as adults! Completely different dynamic I would think!

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 16:44:09 +0000

Since you and I are different people, we don’t usually aggregate our families, but I found myself doing so today. Together we have 3 half-sibs, 3 step-sibs, + only 1 old-fashioned. (Oh and 5 children, we’re so busy!)

By: Catherine

Catherine — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 16:04:32 +0000

I have three older half-siblings. So far I have only met one of them (my two “full” siblings have met a second one) and we have a pleasant but not close relationship – don’t see each other often but enjoy it when we can. I knew about these siblings growing up but didn’t meet my one brother until I was an adult.

By: Jill F.

Jill F. — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 14:48:24 +0000

I have an older half sibling -a sister. She is 3 years older than me and she is just my big sister; we never used the “half-sister” moniker, probably because we have the same mother. My younger sister and I share both biological parents, but I never thought she was “more” of a sister than my older sister because of this.