“Is that number 3 in there?”

Note to the world at large:
It is not very nice to say, “is that number 3 in there?” to a woman you hardly know. It’s almost always a bad idea.

Last night, Alec and I went to a party welcoming a friend back to town. And over the course of the conversation, I was introduced as his old roommate as well as a person who has been very busy in the last three years (marriage, two sons).

I was enjoying the change of pace to catch up with an old friend without the little ones around. Had a little beer (out of a can — how college!) and was in the middle of a glass of wine when the man asked me that awful question.

I chuckled it off and said very loudly and nervously, “that’s the belly from number two still going away” but I wanted to run and cry.

But I didn’t cry. I finished my awkward conversation, excused myself for a glass of water, and grabbed Alec so he could tell me how decidedly-unpregnant I look right now.

I’m never wearing that shirt again.