Comments on: Is my child old enough…?

By: Cara

Cara — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 05:10:15 +0000

Ha, the first step cracks me up — when Brooklyn started walking at 9 months, I guess I should have knocked her down and said “You are not old enough to do that! You have to wait two months.”;)
I think most of them are close to what I would come up with on my own — I wouldn’t leave her alone so young.
She started taking baths alone at 3, because she sings the.entire.time, so we know she’s fine — if it gets quiet for a few seconds we call out “Brooklyn, are you okay?” and she knows she is to immediately answer “Yeah!” (We aren’t as lazy as we sound — we still go check in person several times too;)
And playing alone in a room? Dude, I did that from the beginning — foster some independence in the kiddos, and that has served us very, very well. If they are in a safe space where there is nothing that can hurt them, they’re fine — I cannot fathom waiting two years to leave your child alone in a room!

By: laure

laure — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 17:07:20 +0000

Guidelines are always helpful. As long as they don’t become hard rules. I think parenting is a mix of following guidelines and going with your guts!

By: Liz F.

Liz F. — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:20:03 +0000

@Heather and Whitney… You should read the book Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy if you haven’t already. It talks about the peer pressure and judgement regarding when to let your kids be independent.

By: Tammy

Tammy — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 06:26:27 +0000

Hang on a second, the nineties were 20 years ago?? I feel old. Sob.

By: Whitney

Whitney — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 02:48:06 +0000

@Heather, I know! Amongst all the letters I saved in high school and college it was clear that my friends and I sent each other weird clippings from magazines. Possibly my college boyfriend sent it as a joke?

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 22:56:43 +0000

But seriously why do you have this? Girl, you were still a child when this came out.

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 22:55:41 +0000

I love the taking a first step advice like @CM mentioned. I keep thinking, “I wonder when Holden (age 7) will be ready to run into a store and buy something while I wait in the car.” I am SURE Milo will be ready by age 7 but H is still a bit dreamy.

By: carriem

carriem — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 21:11:14 +0000

I like this list, as it suggest there is some point at which we might actually let kids do things alone! I think some of them are a little old, but not wildly so, it is important to me that my kids learn independence, so as soon as they seem ready, I try to encourage that behavior.

However, I do think the fears expressed about the negative results of other people thinking kids are to young for _______ leads to lots of us delaying independence.

By: The Mommy Therapy

The Mommy Therapy — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 20:45:08 +0000

I love these types of lists and guidelines. I either feel validated in my consistency with the list, superiority for times when my children excel faster, and guilt over the things I’m letting my children do that allegedly they aren’t ready for, which is handy because I always need something to feel guilty about as a Mom and this seems benign enough to fill the role.

Honestly, I do like these lists. I feel they give some definition to the vast open, endless things we encounter as parents.

The truth is though, everyone’s different and we all have to be confident and at peace with the choices we are making for our own kids…the trick is figuring out how to actually feel like that.

By: Marian Buttars

Marian Buttars — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 20:19:08 +0000

I agree with a few of these other comments. I think many moms (me!) put off things they know their child would be ok with, just because of what other people would think. I also know that I have felt like an overprotective mom because my son isn’t ready to do some of those things when others his age are. I think this list seems pretty reasonable, though! My son is 4 this summer and taking his first swimming lesson and I know most kids his age have had them at least one, maybe two years before. But I have left him before to run down the block to a neighbor’s for a few minutes and he is just fine. Every kid is different!

By: Jess

Jess — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 19:19:56 +0000

How old do kids have to be before I can leave them in the car to run into the gas station or to drop off the dry cleaning or anything that would be less than 5 mins…Are there laws about this or is it just society’s guidelines?

By: Annie @ PhD in Parenting

Annie @ PhD in Parenting — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 16:50:11 +0000

One thing I wish there were more prescriptive guidelines (and/or actual laws) about are things like leaving your children at home alone, letting them walk around the neighbourhood alone, etc. There seems to be a lot of judgment, on behalf of judgy parents and police/child protective services, of children who are doing things independently of a supervising adult. I know a lot of parents who feel their children are ready, but who fear that people will judge them or take their children away, if they let them do things alone.