Inspired by a very funny recent post on Bustle, a few of us wanted to share the maternal version of What I instagrammed vs. What was really happening or my entire life is a lie. For better or worse, we could go on all day like this!
What you saw from @mommyprojectSD
Beautiful baby girl posing perfectly for a photo showing her cute new bow, sparkly shoes and very trendy skinny jeans. This baby is so stylish and is always dressed in trendy baby gear. What a little model in the making!
What was actually happening
Blake HATES anything on her head or feet so capturing this moment with a huge bow on her head and the sparkly shoes (both) on her feet at the same time was quite the task. During the “shoot” she kept yanking her bow off, kicking her feet and flinging the shoes in every direction. Most of the shots that I was able to capture, her feet were moving so fast that they were just tiny blurs of pink in the photo. I literally took 39 pictures before finally getting this one where she was looking at the camera and you can see her sparkly shoes. Also, during the shoot she had a major blowout and let’s just say, the “skinny jeans” took the brunt of that one. All in all she was in this outfit for about 3 minutes. Isn’t it cute?
Ah, Christmas morning! The Christmas glow and spirit is upon my son. Our Christmas tree is so beautiful that he looks up in wonder as he admires an ornament. Look how well-behaved he is by the tree.
What really happened
Probably about to rip off the one valuable ornament I forgot to put above his little reach. It’s a shot of the back of his head because he was wicked sick the day I took this picture and has snot all over his nose. Nonetheless, I thought I had a nanosecond to try and recreate this picture from Pinterest (as long as I added the right filter). Also, he was in his pyjamas because he wasn’t feeling well, and it wasn’t taken on Christmas morning.
See more Instagram Vs. real life from Jen on My Splendid Messy Life >
What @rookiewhitney showed you
The whole story
Five minutes earlier: my daughter spies these same age girls at the pool. She wants to play with them. She wants them to want her. There is so much wanting going on here and she hangs on my body whining and whispering and rejecting every suggestion I make for how to start playing with these sisters. I really want her to make poolside friends so I can read my Kindle. That’s what this vacation is for. I nudge her to smile and make eye contact as a start. Why is this so hard? They are not the Kardashians. Now I have to play Chinese jump rope with her, my boobs bouncing out of my bathing suit as I jump on the concrete. I am not seven, which is apparent to everyone who is watching my skin jiggle with each bounce on the pavement. I am sweaty because we are in Mexico and my daughter is plastered to me. Wait, she’s moving away.
They are playing and it is adorable. It is vacation magic. I’m going to read now. After I check my phone.
I want to share a picture but I’m too embarrassed to ask the other parents if I can post their kids on Instagram. I crop off their heads.
What I, @rookieheather, shared
What I’m thinking
Can you see the coffee and juice that splattered my dress five minutes earlier? Is that guy going to steal my phone? Why’s he taking so many pictures? Does my arm look fat?
After — literally — hiking uphill both ways to and from this special Marin County breakfast spot, I lost count of the frustrations and the Are We There Yets. I laughed when two of the meals blew over onto my clothes. I let most of the sibling bickering roll off my back. But, dammit, we were going to have a picture!
When I look at this photo, I see the rest of my family happy and relaxed; they are beautiful and I love them so. But I see so much irritation on my own face, I wish I weren’t in it. I needn’t have worried so much though: No, he didn’t steal my camera and it is easy to crop out a floppy arm.
We showed you ours, now you show us yours! Share us your favorite instagram vs. real life pictures in the comments.
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