Comments on: How to behave: a Mom’s Group toolbox

By: Lynn

Lynn — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 07:20:04 +0000

I wish you guys were nearby. (Anyone live in Reno?) I enjoy your honesty. I’ve been trying to connect with new moms, or anyone really, for some time now. I’m new here and have been moving around a lot in the last three years. I’m away from my core group at home and feel lonely. Especially with all this new baby stuff going on. She’s my first and I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. Talk about being “embarrased to say this … ” I’ve literally told people I don’t know anyone and have asked women to be my friend and have gotten nowhere. It’s much harder than it was in gradeschool! The girls in my prenatal class were born in the year I graduated high school. I did met a new mom on my ward in the hospital who also had a c-section and who is actually older than I. I called her once. She was having trouble breastfeeding. I didn’t want to bug her while she was having problems, but guess I’ll try again to befriend her. You guys helped me realize that people appreciate the ernest approach. Perhaps I’ll have better luck in lactation class. I just ran across this blog tonight and hope I’m not too late to comment on this thread. Wish me luck!

By: Nikki @ Baby Talk Moms

Nikki @ Baby Talk Moms — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 02:46:07 +0000

I loved reading your post, and totally related! It takes me a little while to break down those barriers and be my authentic self! I’ll definitely be back to read more.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:31:38 +0000

That is GREAT advice, and I’ll probably be using it at some point. Having struggled with infertility (hello, twins!), I feel guilty about saying anything less than happy-happy, upbeat, and glowing. Starting out with “I feel guilty about saying this…” might help me be a little more honest with other moms.

By: Meagan @ The Happiest Mom

Meagan @ The Happiest Mom — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 18:15:08 +0000

Looks like Brene Brown is the woman of the hour. I just saw her speak at Blissdom so this post especially spoke to me. I’ve often thought I needed to be more open with other people but it’s not always easy to put yourself out there–I love the idea of giving the listener an indication that what you are about to say is difficult for you, and these are great opening lines. Thank you!

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 20:30:33 +0000

I know I already commented on this post, but I found I’ve been thinking a lot about it since reading it yesterday. It inspired me for today’s post on my own blog. I’m sorry to hear of moms who don’t have the support of other moms or that anyone would reject someone who reaches out. For those of you still feeling a little lost out there, hang in there. You never know where you’re going to meet a kindred spirit mom – maybe at a breastfeeding group, a class you take your baby to, postnatal yoga – it could be anywhere you go with your baby. Good luck!

By: Wie geht’s dir? « My Mother's Tiara

Wie geht’s dir? « My Mother's Tiara — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 20:24:49 +0000

[...] just read an entry on the blog Rookie Moms about joining a mother’s group and how difficult it can be to talk about all the real issues [...]

By: Emily

Emily — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 13:54:54 +0000

I’m tearing up just reading this. I sorta reached out the other day about my struggles and got nothing back. It seems to echo in your head and your heart and makes you more and more tentative to appear to be anything other than superwoman.

By: Steph at Modern Parents Messy Kids

Steph at Modern Parents Messy Kids — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 22:26:28 +0000

I also like, “I never thought I’d say this but…”

By: Kate

Kate — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 21:02:25 +0000

I am fortunate to have a wonderful and supportive moms group. But we met before we had our babies, in prenatal yoga. Our instructor encouraged us to make friends, especially those of us having our first. It took a while, but eventually 5 of us started having lunch after class and meeting in the park for walks. I think that made a big difference. We got used to venting about our issues and asking questions about each other’s pregnancies. So when our kids were born (we all have boys, all within 6 months of each other!), it wasn’t so hard to confess our difficulties and fears or to ask questions.

I don’t know where I’d be without my support group and new best friends! They are so often my lifeline on this roller-coaster ride of motherhood!

By: LauraC

LauraC — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:48:08 +0000

I think this (great) advice applies for non-rookies and rookies alike!

Some more sound advice for the new mom groups: DO NOT show up to the first meeting 6 weeks post-partum and complain you’ve easily lost all the baby weight but you’re not the same size. The twin mom who was so proud that she actually made it out of the house on her own AND showered (!!) while caring for two babies might think very very stabby thoughts.

By: Sonja

Sonja — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 17:36:29 +0000

I love, love, love my moms group, and I believe it’s precisely because we’re all on the same page when it comes to being open and honest. The first time I went there, I took a deep breath and confessed (to these women who had children, as in “more than one birth”) that I really never ever wanted to give birth again, ever. And nobody raised an eyebrow… (as a matter of fact, they told me that it was totally normal to feel that way right after giving birth). I knew I had found my tribe.
I don’t think you can get anything out of going to a moms group unless you’re honest. I mean… what’s the point of going there if you just sit there the whole time hoping you won’t slip and accidentally say something “wrong”?!

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:18:26 +0000

I love this pic! The babies are so cute! Love your blog!