I can sum up my own stance on gift-giving for preschool teachers and babysitters quite simply: give as much cash as you can afford plus something sentimental if time permits. Annika’s feelings about holiday daycare bonuses were a bit more nuanced so I invited her to share them here.
Two years ago at this time of year I was in a quandary: how much should I tip or bonus my childcare provider for the holidays? My 6-month-old son had just started at a lovely home daycare and I didn’t know the protocol for these things – in fact, it hadn’t even occurred to me until some moms from my moms’ group started discussing it during one of our outings. Most of us had gone back to work and some of the other babies were in full-time daycare. The other moms were talking about giving a weeks’ pay to each of their babies’ main caregivers.
Graham had only been in daycare since early November and, while it was going well so far, it didn’t feel appropriate or warranted to give our daycare provider a large bonus after barely two months. I had just returned to work part-time after a six-month maternity leave so dropping a lot of cash would be tough on our budget. I wanted our daycare ladies to feel appreciated, but was unsure how best to accomplish that.
I can’t remember exactly how much I ended up giving that first Christmas. What I do remember is that later in the year, right before our daycare went on vacation for a week in August, I gave our two cherished caregivers another “unexpected” bonus. I was feeling very grateful for the love and care they gave (and continue to give) my son and I wanted to show it. We were doing better financially and I wanted to share the wealth. I put some cash in a card for each of them and wrote a little note of thanks. They were very appreciative – almost more so, it seemed, than in December!
I gave modest bonuses again last Christmas, but I also filed away the idea of the “bonus” bonus (like a “special special,” for Thomas the Tank Engine fans). In May, when my son turned two, I got two gift certificates at a local nail salon for our daycare providers. The cards I enclosed them in shared how thankful my husband and I were for Lorie and Linda’s help in helping to raise our son for the past two years. The gift certificates were a hit! One of them said she had never had her nails done before.
We are now contemplating sending our 2.5-year-old son to preschool, which might prove to be a harder transition for us than for him. We can’t imagine saying goodbye to the two women who have spent almost as much time raising him as we have. Quality daycare is so important in the working parent’s life, and I feel so lucky to have hit the jackpot with them.
How do you show your childcare provider how much you value them? Do you give a holiday bonus, or some other kind of gift, and do you ever show appreciation at other times of the year?
Related: Our formula for calculating holiday gifts for caregivers.
Thanks to Annika for sharing her experience and thoughts. She is the mom of a two and a half year old son and regular contributor to our Berkeley and Oakland parenting site, 510families.com.
I’d love any advice on how much to give that first Christmas! It sounds like we are in exactly the same boat you were: our six month old daughter has been in home daycare for about 3 weeks. We love the daycare provider, but we haven’t been there long enough to feel like a big bonus is appropriate, and it would really be tough on our budget. What have others done in similar situations?
We have a nanny who has worked for us for 3 years. I get the whole week off betw xmas and new years. Her bonus is that she gets the whole week off and I pay her anyway.
A parent from our daughter’s preschool emailed all the parents and said it has been the tradition there (her older son went to the same school for a couple of years) for parents to give $20-$40 each and then it is split between the 4 teachers. Awesome!
I had been contemplating gift cards and thinking of what we could really afford and how to not seem totally lame with a small gift card. Giving $40 and knowing the teachers will all get a card, signed by the kids with a wad of cash inside was perfect.
And having worked in child care before having my daughter, I would have very much appreciated such a gift.
When I was a nanny, the mom did something similar as the above poster — time off when she traveled for the holidays and I still got a pay check. But she did that throughout the year as well which is really only fair if you’re the one traveling/taking time off:)
When I hired my first nanny, she made it clear to me that she got my vacation days as paid days, so that was not really an option as a special gift! One week of pay is what I’ve heard is the going rate for in-home caregivers. This works for night time sitters, too. Just base the math on how much you normally spend on them in a month and divide by four. @C, I think pro-rating the “one week” rule for the year makes perfect sense. If you had been with someone for 6 months, take the one week salary and divide in half. In your case, divide by 12 because you will have only been with the day care provider for one month, or just do what Annika (the writer above) did and give a surprise bonus after more time has passed.
My oldest child is in kindergarten this year and the room parent asked for everyone to contribute $10 towards a teacher gift. With 30 kids in class, that will make a very nice $300 gift for her! For our after-school teacher, we will also do $10 in a kid-made card. I do $25 for our younger child’s day care teacher whom we just adore as well as $10 each for the 2 helper teachers. Not sure if that’s comparable to what’s others do or not. Sometimes it feel like it’s not enough, but then I remind myself that other families are giving gifts too. I always write a personal note of thanks to each teacher with specific examples of why they are special to our child and us.
My daughter goes to a daycare center, and there are six teachers and two directors (aka a ton of people). What’s appropriate for a holiday gift? Honestly, I don’t have a ton of money available right now to get them something grand, so I was thinking that cards with a hand-written note plus a nice box of candy from Godiva would be okay. Any other thoughts or advice?
@Kate, that sounds very appropriate. Another option is to buddy up with another parent to make your gift bigger. At my children’s daycare, the tradition was that one parent would volunteer to take up a collection. That way we’d end up with a few hundred dollars that we divvied up according to hours (ie 50% for the directors and 10% for each teacher or something like that).
Baguette is in full-time day care. I give something for the individual on the teacher’s birthday, and something for the classroom at the holidays. For birthdays, that’s gift cards. For the holidays, I’ve given CDs to broaden the classroom’s collection and gift cards to Michael’s. Even at this very expensive private day care, the teachers do a lot out of their own pockets, and I try to help with that a little.