Comments on: Fall birthdays and Kindergarten entrance and why I feel bullied by the yuppies.

By: victoria

victoria — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 19:16:41 +0000

Here’s what I don’t get: In the Seattle Public School district, the cutoff is Aug 31st birthdays for Kindergarten. They will do early entrance testing for Sept and Oct. birthdays only. So my daughter is a Nov 18th birthday. She is a smart girl, but more importantly a confident girl. With an older brother, she hangs out with a pile of boys – and keeps up with them mentally, physically and often has more of an emotional maturity! But her friend with an August birthday is often a few steps behind. Because she has a birthday a mere 3 months earlier – she can enroll in Kindergarten now? It’s so silly. And those 3 months are going to make middle school easier on her? Despite the fact that my daughter has a sibling 6.5 years older, will have experiences that her friend hasn’t had. 3 months will ease puberty?! 3 months is the difference between having sex and not having sex? So silly, imo.

By: Is time-out a waste of time?

Is time-out a waste of time? — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 13:35:39 +0000

[...] school that Julian attended for his bridge-K year asked us not to use time-outs at home. We stopped using that term, but called it “taking a [...]

By: Boston Mamas

Boston Mamas — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:49:40 +0000

Thanks for sharing this perspective Whitney.

As someone who lives in a diverse community that is surrounded by wealthier communities, and who is a little put off by the affluence and privilege at Laurel’s pre-school (yes, I recognize that we also send Laurel to school there…does it help if I tell you we’re a one car family that drives a beat up, aged Honda amidst the Audi, Mercedes, and Lexus SUVs?), I tend to get a little tweaked by the concept of red shirting. But it occurs to me that it tweaks me when presented in the vein of “gaming the system” — wanting your kid to be bigger and stronger and smarter than the other kids so they can squash the competition.

However, put in the context of individual differences and social, emotional, or intellectual development, I get it. Certainly when I go to Laurel’s classroom and see the boys bouncing off the walls and the girls sitting quietly coloring I think, how can all these kids be in the same class? In an ideal world kids would be evaluated on scales of intellectual, social, and emotional development (maybe motor too) and an assessment would be made as to whether they were ready to enter K that particular fall.

Laurel is a September birthday. Had we still lived in our neighboring town she would have missed the kindergarten cutoff by a handful of days. Now she makes it in in our current town with several months to spare. These cutoffs are arbitrary and there are pros and cons of being the youngest or oldest of a class. I guess I just sort of assume that everything works out in the wash.

-Christine

By: Susie Lubell

Susie Lubell — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:38:32 +0000

Thanks for writing your comment on my blog Whitney. I think I’m leaning toward the young fives program for the same reasons you have chosen to red-shirt Julian. I just worry about losing a place in this whole public school lottery thing. (another topic that merits a blog post…ugh). I’m glad you are at peace with your decision. I’ll get there too. Appreciate the support.

By: Remembering the feeling of newschoolphobia

Remembering the feeling of newschoolphobia — Fri, 08 May 2009 04:24:03 +0000

[...] year will look like. With Scarlett at Julian’s current preschool, and Julian moving on to a bridge Kindergarten, it will be a more complicated morning routine. (But oh, the stuff that mommyblogs are made [...]

By: Lucy Perkins

Lucy Perkins — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:22:10 +0000

We are holding out oldest back also. Its not about what others are doing but what I want for her in the long term. I don’t want her to be 17 and graduating only to go off to college at 18. One more year to grow up before having to be a grown up I’m keeping her till she is 19.

By: Mick

Mick — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:39:41 +0000

Wendy, I think you should go with your gut instincts. You are the parent of your child and you know your child the best. You have to remember that there are exceptions and that some Fall babies actually do fine, even in the communities where redshirting is encouraged. My son has a Nov birthday, but I’m sending him to kindergarten. He’s a very cerebral boy who needs a lot of stimulation. Worst case scenario he could just repeat kindergarten again. He’s definitely academically ready, but my concern is his social maturity which is why I’ve been keeping a watchful eye on how he compares socially to the boys his age as well as the oldest kids in the class. The truth of the matter is, none of the boys appear to be super mature in his preschool class (maybe that’s just how boys are) and he always seem so much more mature than any boys who do have a Fall birthday. Although he is on the smaller side, based on his parents’ height, he will always be smaller (even in the grade below) so we are ignoring that fact. Just my two cents to throw out there. My main point: there are exceptions who do well and the only way to find out if your son is an exception is to have him try it, but go with your gut, not everyone else’s. Good luck!

By: Al_Pal

Al_Pal — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:57:24 +0000

As a January baby, I started private K at 4.5, since I was already reading.
When we moved towards the end of 1st grade, I ended up going for a 2nd year of 1st in my new school system, and I am *so* glad that I did!
I really enjoyed being 16 and able to drive in 10th grade, and 18 as a HS senior & college freshman. (and my parents enjoyed having me able to ferry around my younger siblings! I guess that isn’t allowed anymore, though, under CA driving laws?)
Also, some friends of mine were put into K too young, and ended up repeating grades later in elementary school — not at all fun for them!
Good luck with whatever decision ends up happening!!!

By: SF

SF — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:34:28 +0000

Check out Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers” and read the first section about the birthday of professional hockey players. It proves the point that redshirting does make a measurable difference, especially if it’s the norm in your community. For the record, it’s happening in my community, too. Good luck!

By: LeAnn

LeAnn — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 05:21:38 +0000

Wow, my husband and I have this discussion all the time. I have a summer birthday and was the youngest kid in my class until I went to college. I had no problem being the “baby” of my group. I honestly didn’t notice until I had to wait to drive. My husband has a fall birthday and repeated Kindergarten because he was small for his age, and his parents didn’t want him to be picked on later. He had a really positive experience and feels that he was more of a leader with his peer because he was older. So, where our September 3 daughter is concerned, we have opposing opinions on this issue. Until this year, I was lucky enough to teach at an elementary school with on-sight, multi-age daycare for teachers, so my daughter has been in a true school setting (the tot class has a curriculum, does exhibits, and the kids go to art, music, PE, etc just like all the “big kids”) since age 1. She does well socially at her current pre-school and in play groups. After considering all of this and her academic readiness, we are planning to send her to Kindergarten in the fall. However, we are going to keep a close eye on her to see how it goes. She may be like her dad and do Kindergarten twice!

By: RF

RF — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:00:45 +0000

I’m not sure when you wrote this post, as I just found your blog, but I wanted to share with you my mother’s experience. She a retired kindergarten teacher – she taught kindergarten for 20+ years, and I don’t know anyone who is better at this job than she is. She’s a big advocate of what you call “red shirting” kids. Her observation is that even though kids may be academically ready to enter kindergarten, if they are not socially ready, they will likely struggle at some point in school. It might not be until 4th or 5th grade, but the struggle will happen. I think her point is that there’s a lot more to school than academics, and if your son is struggling with higher expectations from teachers or has more responsibility than he’s ready for, than the academic side of things will be affected as well. This maturity issue is often a bigger concern for boys than girls. The take home message is you want you child to be one of the older ones in his class. He’ll likely have an easier time with things, and enjoy school more. I wish you and your son the best as he prepares to go to kindergarten.

By: Wendy M-R

Wendy M-R — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:10:56 +0000

I just have to chime in on this. My daughter who is now 9 is a fall baby (November 22) and because we live in Houston where the cut off is (and has been for at least 32 years as I started as a fall baby at 5 in 1976) September 1 she is one of the older kids in class. I don’t have any close friends here who have opted to keep there children out an extra year due to there August birthdays though.

I will say this, my daughter, although incredibly strong willed and challenging at home has been a pretty easy kid for the teachers and always straight A’s but that first year was incredibly difficult for her. She had such a hard time adjusting to the difference in the way the teachers related to her in Kindergarten as apposed to pre-K and this alone has led me to give serious thought on keeping my son who was born in June out of kindergarten for a year. I have seen it go well with children both ways but it is something to consider. BTW, we moved to NYC when I was finished with elementary and it was not easy being a year older than every one there. The cut of in NYC was Jan 9 if I remember correctly.