I had heard about the Dunstan Baby Language as “the woman who speaks baby talk on Oprah” several years ago. It sounded like a brilliant idea, but without my own crying baby, there wasn’t much opportunity — or drive — to test it.
I flirted with the idea of buying the DVDs a few times when I was pregnant with my third baby only to talk myself out of such a gimmicky purchase.
Then, during a particularly stressful 3am shrieking fit (his, not mine), I one-click ordered it. Yes, in the middle of the night. I was so desperate to understand what my five-week old crying baby was trying to tell me and how I could fix it that I would have speed-dialed Priscilla Dunstan herself and invited her over if I knew how. Such desperation also caused me to reread all the parenting books that I assumed I had graduated. I had freshly dogeared copies of all my old favorites in nearly every room of the house. Insanity, I tell you.
So, then what?
Within two days, a package of two DVDs arrived at my house. I was so relieved to see them. Priscilla Dunstan, the baby lady, advises you to watch the first DVD and practice before moving on to the second one. Luckily, each of the two lessons is less than 20 minutes because c’mon folks, I need answers NOW. I watched the first video lesson immediately and waited another day to watch the second.
Just like I already knew, she outlined five different baby “words” and their meaning. To make it easier to hear the words, several different babies made each of the sounds. I honed in on the key differences just like she suggested. She also offered helpful parenting tips to calm fussy babies for each of the different scenarios.
I summarized my new learnings for Alec and the big brothers too, both to further internalize the sounds and to get more allies in solving Sawyer’s issues.
Does it work?
Yes and no. I recognized most of the sounds and was able to give more immediate relief to my baby. That part was excellent. Holden and Milo joined me in audio detective work while Sawyer screamed in the minivan during school pickup. We upped our empathy and really paid attention rather than just cranking the Death Cab for Cutie and loudly shushing as we had been doing.
But (and there’s always a but).
My baby made a few cries that sounded nothing at all like her language. And after about six or eight weeks, he stopped sounding like any of the DVD babies.
The bottom line.
Pick up a copy when you’re still pregnant. Study it with your partner and put a cheat-sheet of the baby cries up on your fridge. I think it’s a great tool to have from Day One so watch, listen, learn, and use it immediately because your baby will move beyond these sounds by about two months old.
I highly recommend for a mom’s group to buy and study together for an afternoon or to train your big kids about their new baby sibling.
But if you’re at the six week peak of fussiness, this will not solve your problem. Just tough it out.
Buy Dunstan Baby Language on amazon. Or borrow my copy. I’m not using it anymore!
Could it be that even without Dunstan Baby Language, if you had paid just as much attention to your baby and mimicked his sounds, you would have had the same result?
@CM, I do agree that slowing down and listening to a baby is huge; however, what this “language” provides is a clue into whether the baby is hungry, gassy (windy), tired, or uncomfortable. It saved me from constantly trying to feed a baby that has a gas bubble. In that sense, it’s pretty terrific.
I only read summaries of this work, but with my first daughter was able to CLEARLY hear the “nay” cry for food for most of her first year. I had actually noticed that sound meant hungry before I’d heard about the book. Now, with my 8 month old son, he only JUST started making the “nay” sound when he wants to eat. I think she’s on to something, I also think that every baby is different and it’s up to the parents to learn their baby best.
Rookie Mom Heather,
I am going to be a first time father and less then 3 weeks away from our babies due date. We are on a tight budget and if you’re serious about letting someone borrow your copy of the Dunstan Baby Language I would love to be the family that does so! Thanks for all your advice!
Sincerely,
One really nervous/excited father
Sure! Lemme see if I can find it, @robert.
This is great,I’ve been looking for a real review. I borrowed a copy from my library when my baby was about 6mos, now pg with #3 about 3 weeks away, I’m going to borrow it again. I’m excited for this little science experiment.
@Robert, we donated it when we moved. I’m so sorry. Maybe you can get it from the library.
Yes this really works. I’m a new dad and our daughter is just 4 days old. We bought the iPad app of Dunstan Baby Language (Baby Ears) and wow it does work.
Just some points to remember.
1. Don’t give your baby a dummy to suck. I’ve introduce a dummy to our baby on day one and on day three I notice my mistake. Your baby will learn there’s no reward for sucking the dummy which will cause her to suck poorly when breastfeeding.
2. By putting a dummy in her mouth you stop her from talking to you. Two hours after we stop putting the dummy in her mouth she start talking to us (she’s now four days old as I wrote this) She said that she’s hungry, she had a wind and that she’s uncomfortable.
I rub the wind out which solve her windy and uncomfortable issues, my wife breastfeed her which stop her from being hungry and since we stop giving her the dummy she such much better.
As a new father I can honestly say THANK YOU Dunstan Baby Language, you guys are the real deal.
Believe me there’s no better sound than a crying baby if you know what they are trying to say to you. Get the app on iTunes if you have an iPhone or iPad, it’s the best investment you’ll ever make as new parents.
Regards,
Gerrit du Plessis
South Africa
Hey @Gerrit,
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m so glad the baby talk translator has helped you and your baby. The pacifier worked well for our family. Maybe I’m the “dummy” though.
The dunstan group are actually doing research on 11 new baby sounds, I remember ‘teh’ (I assume an extension of neh) is for teething, but they have three written in their research page of their website. They have stopped in march because of a lack of resources and they really need people to video and send in their baby cries.
[...] Heather over at Rookie Moms gave the method a try with her 3rd child. Sounds like she had some success, but she didn’t start using the Dunstan Baby Language method until her son was already 5 weeks old, and he moved past those crying sounds around 2 months old… so starting early is probably the key to maximizing usefulness of the method! Read about her experience here: Rookie Moms Dunstan Baby Language post. [...]