Comments on: Dear Rookie Moms, maternity leave is ending

By: Mariale

Mariale — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 23:01:05 +0000

The first year of work after having my baby has been the worst in terms of performance. I was so distracted thinking about the baby, new logistics, sleep deprivation, etc. I’m sure all this is normal, what I do know is keeping a diary at work and keep track of everything so my baby brain doesn’t play fool on me. It has helped me a lot. I don’t think my brain is as sharp as it used to be before kids but with a bit of extra help from diaries and calendars I’m as good as I was before wih work.

By: Heather Flett

Heather Flett — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:57:14 +0000

@Thea, I hope you’re not still crying.
@AKD, I wonder how long your “mommy brain” lasted.

By: AKD

AKD — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:37:24 +0000

I agree with a previous comment, I found it a lot more difficult to focus and keep track of everything when I went back to work. I was working 3 days a week at first so I didn’t have day-to-day continuity. I felt very sluggish, like I had “mommy brain,” and couldn’t bounce back at my previous level of productivity or engagement. It’s hard when you are pumping a few times per day and have to keep interrupting your flow of work to go and do that. I guess my advice would be to cut yourself some slack when you first come back. Hopefully your bosses/co-workers will be understanding of that too. It’s a big transition. I found that I just didn’t care as much about work as I did pre-baby (which could be a good thing).

By: Thea

Thea — Tue, 22 May 2012 15:16:22 +0000

This is my second day back a work. My son is with my mother in law who loves him more than anything, but I can not stop crying. Sobbing at night and before I leave. While Im working Im ok (as long as no one askes me how I am). I feel like when I got home yesterday he didnt even look at me or want me to take care of him! I just feel terrible. Will this ever pass?

By: Mariale

Mariale — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 06:34:08 +0000

My tip: keep an agenda for work matters, for me it was really hard to concentrate and keep focused at work. After several months of mistakes I now write everything I do so I keep a record and don’t forget things. Be aware that now you worry about your baby’s day and your day as well, plus all the housework waiting for you after work. So your brain is quite full.
Also, housework other than making dinner waits until baby is sleeping. I give her all my attention after work until bedtime. The rest can wait.
Good luck! Don’t feel guilty, you are doing it for her in the long term.

By: Jodie R.

Jodie R. — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 22:45:11 +0000

I still struggle with this every day, and we don’t even have to put my son in daycare! He stays home with daddy, who quit his job 1.5 years ago to be a full-time “manny.” I think there’s just something built into a woman that makes her feel like SHE should be the one staying home. It’s really hard to go to work, but I have to do it! *Hugs*

By: Cassandra

Cassandra — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 21:44:19 +0000

@beetlejooz is absolutely right. Maintaining the divide between “work” and “home” will be very tough at first, but it is essential in your transition. Sometimes learning to change gears like that is tough, but it is very rewarding in the end.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 19:57:31 +0000

This is one of the best posts I’ve seen on Rookie Moms in the last 2-3 years (I don’t remember when I started reading, I just know it was when I was rookie-pregnant!). I’ve been back to work for over 1.5 years, and although I’m very happy with the arrangement and my life as a whole (and the fact that my son is thriving), it still isn’t easy. I still doubt working. So I guess my advice is to try to get comfortable with the fact that you may never be 100% certain or satisfied with whatever arrangement you have, whether that’s being a SAHM, working part-time, working full-time, etc. (I will say I worked part-time for the first year after my return to work, and reluctantly decided to come back to full-time… and I’m happier than ever. It works for my family. So don’t be afraid to experiment!)

By: Onesie Mommy

Onesie Mommy — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 19:44:48 +0000

Just reading through the tips provided makes me tear up. I’ve been back at work for 4 mos (after a year long mat leave-in Canada we receive benefits up to a year) and I still find it hard! I’ve tried many of the suggestions posted here and while they are fantastic and helpful, I still feel sad when I drop my toddler off at daycare. I kept hearing “it gets easier, it gets easier” and when it didn’t, I thought maybe something was wrong with me. I finally just accepted that no matter what, no matter how old my baby will be, it will ALWAYS be hard to leave her behind. She’s my world. Somehow, accepting the sadness made it somewhat easier.

Best wishes to you and all moms heading back to work!

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 19:18:14 +0000

I am quitting my job and reading this still tears me up as I’m in turmoil over my decision to stay at home. There are no easy decisions as a mommy. But, I’ve heard a lot of the above advice more than once and I think it’s all good. That advice to go back on a Wednesday is one I’ve heard all over the place. Ease back in slowly. And it’s okay to cry in a private area at work if you need to get it out.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:57:53 +0000

Do a practice week before you return. That way childcare won’t be such a huge shock for your little one or for you

By: courtney

courtney — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:39:55 +0000

Let’s see . . . three babies, three maternity leaves. There
were tears, feeling sick to my stomach, and thinking I was one of
the worse moms on the planet.