Committed outdoorsman: A rookie dad sleeps on the porch

An exciting email recently circulated amongst my extended family. My second cousin Emily and her husband Will were going to be on Oprah. “Set your DVRs!” read the email. I’ve met Emily once and never met Will, by the way. (Our grandmothers were sisters.)

If you watch Oprah, and apparently bazillions of women do, you may have actually seen the segment they appeared on.  If not, allow me to summarize.

The new Jerry Seinfeld show, The Marriage Ref, was being promoted on Oprah.  Jerry appeared on Oprah and the two of them skyped with first-time parents Emily and Will to demonstrate how a marital argument should be settled by outsiders. Emily and Will each presented their perspective and then all of America got to judge them. (And now you can, too.)

So here’s the video that Emily and Will made describing their conflict.  You’ll see where Will sleeps (on the porch) and learn why.

In an email, Will told me

My move to the porch was definitely inspired in part by parenthood. I moved out to the porch around the time that our son, River, arrived. Emily slept with him for the first few months, and I didn’t want to interrupt their sleep or their mother-child bonding. Whenever I would get up to pee, the bed would creak and Emily would get upset about me waking up her and the baby. So I humbly and graciously moved out to the porch and slept under the stars, with the sound of the creek lulling me to sleep. But now River is two-years-old and sleeping in his own bed, so Emily wants me back in the bed with her.