An exciting email recently circulated amongst my extended family. My second cousin Emily and her husband Will were going to be on Oprah. “Set your DVRs!” read the email. I’ve met Emily once and never met Will, by the way. (Our grandmothers were sisters.)
If you watch Oprah, and apparently bazillions of women do, you may have actually seen the segment they appeared on. If not, allow me to summarize.
The new Jerry Seinfeld show, The Marriage Ref, was being promoted on Oprah. Jerry appeared on Oprah and the two of them skyped with first-time parents Emily and Will to demonstrate how a marital argument should be settled by outsiders. Emily and Will each presented their perspective and then all of America got to judge them. (And now you can, too.)
So here’s the video that Emily and Will made describing their conflict. You’ll see where Will sleeps (on the porch) and learn why.
In an email, Will told me
My move to the porch was definitely inspired in part by parenthood. I moved out to the porch around the time that our son, River, arrived. Emily slept with him for the first few months, and I didn’t want to interrupt their sleep or their mother-child bonding. Whenever I would get up to pee, the bed would creak and Emily would get upset about me waking up her and the baby. So I humbly and graciously moved out to the porch and slept under the stars, with the sound of the creek lulling me to sleep. But now River is two-years-old and sleeping in his own bed, so Emily wants me back in the bed with her.
Thoughts?
They are the cutest couple ever!
Good Luck and I loved the segment on Oprah. You guys are so cute!!!
Emily and Will please take back your marriage and your bedroom.
River is in his own room and you both belong in the bed together every single night. I hope by the time the show has aired you both have realized the most important thing is to keep your marriage first. Kids are not the BOSS of us.
God, Marriage and then the children. Remember that!
What did the marriage ref say? Do you have a clip of that?
They said that Emily wins and Will needs to get back in bed. On the show, Will didn’t get much of a chance to defend himself. I guess since he’s the one exhibiting the unusual behavior, it seems like he’s the one who needs to change.
I’d love to sleep with that creek in the background too – why can’t the bed move?? I’d be sad if my husband moved out, but I can see his side here, particularly since it seems like he feels like he got kicked out (something I hear from some husbands who become the third in the bed with cosleeping)…
@Kathleen, now that’s a compromise! You should be a Marriage Ref! Actually, Emily emailed me and said that they’ve been sleeping together in the bedroom with the windows open. In the spring, she’s actually open to sleeping on a futon on the porch.
I say 1. Get a new bed so your night-time potty breaks won’t rock the boat. and 2. Have everyone sleep outside during the summer/warmer months. Family campout sounds like fun!
they need a new mattress and she needs an electric blanket. i think that i can seriously say it has saved my marriage. now we sleep with the windows open and i am still warm and cozy. i would love to sleep out on the porch every night! (as long as i could stay nice and warm).
[...] My point is that we do a lot of crazy shit as new parents. We sing potty songs, attach electric pumps to our breasts, and read books to kids who can barely hold their heads up. Sleeping in your own living room is the least of it. (That reminds me… my second cousin’s husband sleeps on the porch.) [...]
I hope he was sawdusting that pee.
Oh, and I hope he had his prostate checked. He maybe shouldn’t be peeing that much at night.