Milo hearts Sawyer: A love story

Big changes are happening at my house. Milo has started kindergarten. He is now attending the same elementary school as his big brother, so it might seem like a non-issue, but allow me to rewind a bit.

Before Sawyer started daycare, I was a little sad and made a pouty face whenever I thought about being apart from him. On his first day, he fell asleep in his bucket car seat before we arrived. Milo took the time to set up Sawyer’s crib for him in the Infant/Toddler room before heading to his own preschool class in the same building.

During the first transitional week, Milo told me, “Mommy I got this. Don’t worry about Sawyer, I’ll check on him all day long.” Armed with Milo’s assurances and a childcare staff that I love, leaving my baby was not as hard as I feared. That was about six months ago.

My sweetest summer memory was seeing Milo and Sawyer play together at their shared preschool. Though Milo was in a five year-old classroom, he was permitted to visit and play with Sawyer nearly as often as he wanted. They were lucky to build a relationship away from my controlling watchful gaze. What kind of things can you do with a baby when Mommy and big brother are not around? You can pick him up and shlep him around; climb a play structure together; wrestle and cuddle; you can really pay attention to him.

Most of these pictures are from afar because I wasn’t part of their play.

As the summer grew to a close, the infant room teacher told me that she stopped saying no when Milo asked to visit his baby because “it’s only for a few more weeks.” And just like that — sniff! — it’s over.

The beginning of the school year means we are working out the kinks with the morning routine for three boys; it is similar but feels very different. We still walk or drive to the same two places but now Sawyer’s on his own, heading toward toddlerhood at the preschool.

While I know that the logistics will take care of themselves, I have a little lump in my throat for keeping Milo away from his favorite little guy. He once asked me if he could marry Sawyer, and I had to explain that when you’re brothers, you don’t get to marry each other but you can love each other and keep living together for as long as you like.

This picture is Sawyer’s first day at the same preschool without his big brother hanging around. I’m sure that he’ll learn to love this place and develop new friendships, skills, and confidence all on his own. And I’ll tuck in my lower lip and fight back the pouty face of this newest transition.

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This commemoration of our family’s transition to kindergarten was sponsored by Hallmark. This series has been appearing monthly on Rookie Moms, and will continue through the end of the year.