There are many choices of bras with little hooking flaps. How does a rookie mom decide? Allow me to help. With my 30+ months of breastfeeding experience and access to a dozen different kinds of bras, I have a few strong opinions for you.

At a bare minimum, you need three nursing bras. One to sleep in, one for daytime, and one that can do either in a pinch. Here are my personal guidelines on your nursing bra wardrobe:

1. The sleeping bra. The main job is to keep your breast pads in place. I like the Bravado basic thingie (top) and this bamboo one from bellabumbum (lower). The Bravado has more support but the bellabumbum is barely there and was perfect for the hospital.
   
2. The daytime bra. I like this one from Anita but wish that I didn’t buy white because it feels so culinary-school issue. It is comfortable and supportive. There’s also the DIY option nursing bra made from your favorite regular bra.
   
3. The specialty bra. Do you need a nursing bra for jogging or swimming? Maybe so. I got a Moving Comfort Fiona sports bra with velcro straps for use during and after my exercise class. Let’s just say that a regular sports bra is very inconvenient for breastfeeding. Picture it.
   
4. The sexy one. Whether you want to feel extra pretty during the day or on a date or if you still need to keep pads in place during business time, a sexy bra is a worthwhile purchase. I love this one from Cake. Also, our friend the mominatrix shared her favorites here.
5. The nursing tank. Ladies, I’m up in the air about tanks and shirts with such a singular focus to the extent that I wrote a nursing top smackdown about just them. In this context, let’s call them optional and move on.

Other hard-earned tips I have for you:

• Buy a soft-banded sleep bra before the baby comes around week 37 or so. But wait until about 4-5 weeks afterward to purchase the others. Get fit by a professional if possible. Here is a handy buying guide from consumerreports.org.
• Buying a bra online is tricky but possible. Many of the better websites will help you through the process and accept returns.
• White is boring and depressing. Nude is also boring and depressing but will show less under white tops. I prefer black and fun colors.
• Make sure to jump in your sports bra before purchase. After your six week appointment, of course.
• And, anything that can’t be opened and closed with just one hand is bullshit. Try the one-hand closure with each hand.

I’d love to hear what you think, either here or in our Facebook discussion.

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Disclosure: I received some Bravado bras as a gift but bought the rest. All opinions are mine. All pictured boobs are not mine.

Contest is closed. “Is that a travel Boppy?” the other mom said to me with obvious envy. We had both just emerged from a five-hour flight, I with my three sons and she with her nine-month old. I nodded as I jiggled Sawyer in the front carrier and tried to get the bigger boys to sit still while we waited for Alec to reclaim the gate-checked stroller and car seat. [Sorry I don't have a photo of me in this scenario. Honestly, who would have taken it?]

She continued, “Wow, I just sat on this flight with him in my lap and my wrists and hands falling asleep.”

In that moment, I wanted to give her my Boppy travel pillow (available for order at babiesrus.com) to save a rookie mom from the plight of not being able to adjust her arms during a cross-country flight for fear of waking a sleeping baby. But I also want to save it for myself for next time. Sorry, lady.

Folded, about the size of a big purse, but super light

Yes, it’s just one more thing to carry. But it’s a really lightweight thing that has a strap and easily clips to other things. Once you make it onto the airplane, it unfolds into a nearly full-size nursing pillow that can clip around your waist giving the babe a comfy place to lay down.

Open, about the size of a regular Boppy but squishier

Great for new moms who need a nursing pillow on a trip or any baby mama who doesn’t buy an airplane seat for the kiddo.

Want to win a Boppy travel pillow of you own?!
We’re happy to give away one Boppy travel pillow (pictured above), Boppy nursing cover, and a Boppy infant car seat handle cushion (oh my aching hands!) to a reader (retail value $85) who posts a comment below. Simply tell us about a time you wished you had a third hand for dealing with your baby and you will be entered to win. We will choose a winner at random on January 12th. See contest rules.

My December round-up is all about clothes for mama and baby.

The Baby:

As Sawyer outgrows some of the precious newborn and 0-3 month outfits, I want to reminisce about the teeny tiny wee little newborn clothes. giggle has some seriously adorable 100% cotton clothes in their Better Basics line. If you’re in favor of soft organic clothing (and/or allergic to characters on smallest people), you’ll like them too.

I love the “kimono-style” wrap around onesies and shirts for babies that are so blobby you don’t even want to lift their heads to dress them.

These kind of stripes always make me think a baby looks French:

Oui, skull cap only $10

matching jammies in any size, perfect for big sibs too

the little dress I do not need... sigh

The Mama:

Whitney has been my post-partum fashion champion, telling me that I look great and normal (and reminding me when my belly is hanging out in public). In addition to the steady trickle of confidence boosting comments, she reminds me NOT to buy an entire new wardrobe as each week passes. Here, on our giggle parent talk column, she offers What to Wear: Postpartum Edition for everyone else’s benefit too.

ha! I'm actually wearing this now!

Hop on over to giggle GAB to read the rest of her suggested wardrobe finds. And step away from the sweat pants.

My friend, Val, a mom of three told me that she’s no longer self-conscious about baring her upper chest while breastfeeding as long as nobody sees her gut. Alrightie then. Armed with this inspiring perspective, I got more serious about chasing down nursing tops than ever before. If you don’t love your postpartum belly — and who does? — then a nursing tank, tee, or singlet may be the easiest solution to public modesty.

I want to thank the universe, my friend Ann, boob, Yummie Tummie, and Bravado for providing me the nursing tops I tested.

And now let me present my very strong opinions:

Most discreet: Glamourmom.

Don’t want to show the pooch or much boobage? Then Glamourmom is the one for you. Additional fabric covers you for the least uhhh… exposure. Other styles have extra length or closures that don’t scream “nursing bra!” which is also nice. Comes in basic black and some patterns. I like the stripes. Retails for about $34.

Best for the bazongas: Bravado.

If you want your breasts to look their best (AKA, no uniboob), then Bravado seems to have the most respect for your chest. Sizing is a more complicated than the other models, but the “real bra” attention to detail shows. The essential nursing tank also works for pregnant chicks so YAY for versatility but BOO for making me look thinner. Finally, I found that the clasp requires me to use 1.5 hands to open and close. It comes in many colors. Retails for about $44.

Best for squeezing the baby fat: Yummie Tummie.

Of the models I tried, I liked the Yummie Tummie for smoothing the floppy post-partum belly. Unfortunately, the YT is guilty of causing a uniboob so you have to prioritize boobs or belly (I can’t believe I’m writing this but, for me, it depends on where I’m going). Available in basic neutral colors. Retails for about $80.

Cleverest: Boob tee.

Shana from Ain’t No Mom Jeans turned me on to the boob designs nursing tee shirt with her post about four perfect postpartum pooch hiding outfits (inspired by my very own dilemma). Brilliant! It’s quite comfortable and allows me to wear a real bra. I especially like it when the telltale line is hidden by a sweater or vest. Unfortunately, the two halves of the top do not lay flat (as pictured) after a spin through my washer and dryer. Available in many colors. Retails for about $60 (or about $75 after VAT and shipping from Sweden)

And the winner is… balancing price and features, I would buy the Bravado for best support and longest shelf-life if I were only going to buy one.

Now that I got all that off my chest, I really want to know: What do you think about nursing tanks and tees?

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Disclosure: I was sent products for testing and review in addition to ones that I received as hand-me-downs and gifts.

Yes, you deserve a beautiful (dare I say “sexy”?) nursing bra that makes you remember you’re a curvy woman and not a cow. The thoughtful people at Cake Lingerie sent me the one below, called Licorice, and I love it.

The good: The bra is super pretty, comfortable, and it has a flexible wire that lifts things into place while maintaining optimum health.

The bad: No complaints but these bras (and matching undies) are a bit of a splurge. I think they make a great gift from the partner who still thinks you’re beautiful.

The ugly: Because I don’t look like this model, I’m not going to try it on for you (though they do have a terrific campaign in progress called Real Moms, Real Fit that shows all kinds of body shapes). If you want to see me in it, the best you can hope for is that I might flash you by mistake when feeding my little guy. Which is not altogether unlikely (Umm, sorry about that, Whitney and Wendy).

Bottom line: I recommend it highly for a special occasion or every-day treat. If you like, you can buy online (which is really really hard for bras because good fit is so important) or find a store near you.

Related:

• You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and you deserve a nice bra or two
• 5 Sexy nursing bras by the mominatrix

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Disclosure: Cake sent me sample products for editorial consideration.

Have you ever been stuck in a house (with a napping baby, perhaps) and wished you could run a quick errand? Or been super sick and willing to pay any amount of money for someone to make you dinner? If yes, then TaskRabbit is for you. It’s a way to outsource things you don’t have the time or skills to do yourself. Post a task in their web-based system or through the mobile app and someone near you will bid on the job.

Whitney and I took TaskRabbit for a pretty thorough test drive over the past thirty days and are ready to share our experience. WARNING: I will use the word “rabbit” a lot in this post; that’s what the task-doers are called.

Probably the craziest one I tried was to ask a rabbit to build me this simple puppet theater (from an online tutorial shared by Marie via babble). Because the project is intended to be a quickie DIY craft, it was ridiculous to pay someone a heap of money to do it for me. I turned a $9 project into a $60 one. Who would do that? The upside is that the seamstress rabbit had superior skills did a great job. And my kids love it.

Here is the laundry list (ironically, we never had anyone do our laundry!) of the various tasks that Whitney and I outsourced this month:

• Pick up food from our favorite restaurant and bring it to Whitney’s house during our weekly editorial meeting: For three people, it was a hefty surcharge for lunch; however, I’d do this again for a larger group like a mom’s group or family gathering.
• Dig up plants and weeds in my yard: Score! The guy whose bid I accepted did a great job with minimal instruction. I highly recommend getting a rabbit to dig up your garden.
• Late-night grocery run: Whitney said the guy was thorough and thoughtful, but since he couldn’t guess what acceptable substitutions were, it required 2-3 texts and phone calls for a 30 minute errand.
• Shopping at Michael’s to kit out my craft supply box based on a wishlist I provided (inspired by Whitney and a sock puppet experiment to be shared later).
• Research and data entry: a good way for a home-based mom to have access to an administrative assistant. If you’re a room parent at preschool, you might want to consider this.
• Distribute promotional postcards: Our rabbit was personable and did a great job of passing out postcards for us to let a neighborhood know about our local website. Win.
• Mount some kid art for hanging: Rabbit Laura did a fantastic job preserving my children’s artwork for the walls.
• Obtain frames for family photo wall: This rabbit did some creative layout work then purchased all the frames. She gave me several choices and I picked my favorite. Because my husband didn’t want any random rabbits in our house, he hung them up. Now, I just need to fill them.
• Sell/donate books: purging tasks are pretty straightforward. She contacted the local places for selling and donating hours and made it happen.
• Ship a box to Ohio: Having a rabbit mail one single package was a dumb waste of money. If I had a trunk-full at the holidays, it would be worth my money to get someone to haul them to the post office and ship them off. As it was, I just doubled the cost of sending a box.
• Assorted household repairs: Whitney had a rabbit repair and paint over some parts of her house that were driving her nuts. Lesson learned: Be sure to specify what tools you have and what they need to provide. Also? Neither of the repairs stuck.
• Sell assorted items on Craig’s List or eBay: The lesson here was that it’s only worth outsourcing this for high value items, or else you’ll be paying the rabbit more than the income you earn from the sale.
• Safely dispose of expired medicines, electronics, and old paint: I appreciate the rabbit clearing out my junk in an environmentally responsible way. Of course, once she cleared away the crap, I found more of it.
• Run errands in a specified shopping area: Whitney felt most successful when she condensed several errands to a geographical location and positioned the task as “Run errands on Solano Avenue”. Then she listed the things she needed accomplished – dropping off her sewing machine for repair, taking tricycles to a consignment store, dropping an old stroller off at Goodwill.

Two tasks that bombed:

• Hang shelves: Whit has some shelves of unknown origin to be hung. She doesn’t know what tools are needed (nor does she want to know); she wished a rabbit would just handle it, but nobody bid on such an amorphous task. Her husband is hanging the shelves this very moment.
• Source and build sweet jewelry boxes: speaking of amorphous, I posted the task to find thrifted components and build not one but two of these and we got no bids.

We had a super fun time thinking of things we could hire out and maybe got a little silly with our assignment to test it out. I even had someone mail a package for me, agreeing to pay them more than the value of the gift. But hey, I have a newborn baby to care for, and that’s a task I can’t outsource.

Want to try it yourself?
All Rookiemoms readers can save $30 on any task with promo ROOKIEMOM on TaskRabbit.

Now that you’ve seen our crazy list, are you thinking of tasks you’d be willing to pay someone else to do? What are they?

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TaskRabbit provided website credit to us in exchange for testing their service and giving our honest opinion back to you. Here you go!

As I sit in the corner of my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning nursing my baby, I have one hand free. With an iPhone in that hand, I can do almost anything! Being a mom of a newborn is different than the last time I did it; that was the old days — 2007. 2011 smart-phone-enabled mothering is mind-blowingly awesome and I want to tell you why I love it:

1. Twitter. I can keep up with all matter of news overnight as well as commiserate with other sleepless moms (hashtag #zombiemoms). Not so lonely anymore.
   
2. Amazon app. Get this free app and sign up for Amazon Mom to get deals on baby stuff and free-two day shipping on nearly anything with one thumb click.
3. Baby tracker. Using Baby Connect ($4.99), I can track feeding and sleep patterns like the nerd I am. An extra geeky feature syncs this data to my husband’s phone and our iPad. Eat Sleep is also pretty good for $0.
4. Text messages. No need to yell to the other end of the house. When I text I need a hand, my husband comes quickly.
5. Camera. When I’m stuck under a sleeping floppy baby, I can take pictures. Lots of pictures.

Super baby close-up

If you have an Android or Blackberry, your world is probably just as fabulous, but I don’t know the details. Share your best uses for a smart phone as a mom of a newborn and I’ll try your suggestions out tonight!

Christine Koh is the founder and editor of Boston Mamas and a great friend. I asked her to share her experiences coordinating (umm, I mean “being the guest of honor at”) a second-hand baby shower. Voila:

After wading through what seemed to be the waters of secondary infertility for several years, my second pregnancy came as quite the surprise. And of course I learned I was pregnant not long after finally coming to terms with being a three-person family and donating most of my baby stuff.

When my girlfriend Heidi offered to throw me a shower, I asked whether she would be willing to coordinate a secondhand baby shower since I already had mom friends asking me to take baby gear of their hands, and because it seemed like the perfect idea for this eco-obsessed mama.

Here’s how Heidi and I made it happen:

1. Get jiggy with Excel. Since it had been so long since I was in the baby zone (my older daughter Laurel was almost 6 years old when I found out I was pregnant with Violet), I looked at one of those giant (absurd) “must have” baby gear/items registry lists and culled the essentials. I created a spreadsheet listing the essentials and noted what I already had.

2. Provide needs and guest list (including email addresses) to hostess. I sent Heidi my lists and she crafted an evite and shared my needs list and asked guests to tag in for specific hand me downs. If people did not have hand me downs or want to bring them, she welcomed them to simply come and hang out, or bring gift cards or diapers.

3. Mingle and be merry! I think showers are all about the people — refreshments can be as simple or fancy as people desire. Heidi ended up having brunch catered and it was super elegant and delicious (you can see additional pictures from the shower here). She was also kind enough to check in advance as to whether I was experiencing any food aversions. She’s thoughtful like that.

4. Open gifts and freak out appropriately. I’m sort of kidding about this but sort of not. We did the traditional gift opening and there was plenty of freaking out over cute little baby things.

5. Get help getting things home. This is something that ended up working out fine for me on the fly but I recommend planning in advance. I received a lot of large, bulky items that would not fit in our little car and Heidi lives about half an hour away from me (so, multiple trips back and forth would be a bit time consuming). We ended up having several friends offer to load up their cars and drop by my house, which worked easily since many of the guests live in close proximity to me. If your attendees are more spread out and the shower is not at your home, it would be a good idea to check in with nearby friends to help get gifts back to your home.

And that’s it! The most challenging planning involves going through your list and having the hostess keep on top of emails to avoid duplicate hand me downs. And I found that the cool thing about a secondhand shower is that it not only helps friends who want to clean out their basements of baby gear, but also can result in the passing down of some items that would be cost prohibitive to gift brand new.

I was truly overwhelmed by the generosity – among the secondhand items I received were a car seat/stroller system, crib mattress, jogging stroller, high chair, and giant crates full of baby clothes and toys (literally, 4 of them). There also were new baby clothes and toys and spa gift certificates. I was so touched, and above all, it was so utterly lovely to celebrate Violet’s impending arrival with such a fantastic gathering of mom friends.

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In addition to everything else mentioned above, Christine is also the designer behind Posh Peacock and writes a personal blog at Pop Discourse. She tweets about it all at @bostonmamas. Thank you big time, Christine!

When Whitney and I “coordinated” a secondhand shower, it went a little differently since none of my pals seemed to want to give used presents. See our lovely eco-geeky baby shower story and pictures.

I am ready for a whole new wardrobe. I don’t know if I’ll go on a shopping spree in six months (for my birthday) or twelve months (like my OB recommended), but I’m planning to toss out all my clothes and emerge like a butterfly when the baby weight is gone. Unrealistic? Maybe.

I virtually sat down with Liza from www.blahggy.com to talk about fashion and body changes after baby for this new mama momversation. Yes, I am wearing a girdle.

What about you? What are your favorite clothes when you want to look great? Are they different than pre-baby?

I scheduled this post before my baby arrived. If you are reading this while nursing, rest assured that I am also either unsnapping my nursing bra or just snapping it back up. Or maybe feeling too lazy to bother clicking it back in place.

As such, I’ve collected the combined wisdom of many rookie moms to create a nursing cheat sheet for myself. Feel free to use it.

We live in Berkeley where breastfeeding isn’t so much a “choice” or a “lifestyle” but a “requirement.” I can only say that comfortably in hindsight.

I know there are many parts of the world where you feel this same assumption and there are others where the expectation is the opposite. If I remember correctly, Whitney was a breastfed California baby and I was a formula-fed Ohio baby. Of course in the seventies, we probably both had whole milk and even ice cream before we turned one. (And by “remember” I’m going by what my mama told me, not the actual memory of not nursing)

Our experience aside, breastfeeding is a very personal, individual choice. And once you make your decision to do it (or even not to do it), you are likely to face challenges. I’m talking about your milk supply, your modesty, your baby’s knack for nursing (or taking a bottle), your willingness to pump, other people’s support or criticism and on and on.

The most helpful book that guided me on the path to breastfeeding success was The Nursing Mother’s Companion. Between two different nursing babies, I had nearly every obstacle listed (mastitis, infection, blisters, etc.). Each of my dramas was dealt with in a straightforward manner in the book. And I plan to keep it handy again.

Here are several fantastic online breastfeeding resources from our guest blogger, PhD in Parenting.

Here are a few related rookie mom posts/tips/activities:

• Whip ‘em out (funny and supportive video)
• Tips for nursing in public
• Tips for pumping and our community pumping project
• Think with your melons (exercise your super power!)
• DIY nursing bra from a regular bra (with tutorial)
• Cut up your bra (helpful tip)
• Yoga moves to ease back strain from nursing

Any other advice or tips to share with me? I’ll take ‘em.

Before I became a thirtysomething mother whose eyes fill with tears at any mention of childhood hunger or loss of a spouse, I maintained what I now recognize as a gratitude practice. No, I was not spending a moment each day to be mindful of how lucky I was to be safe, healthy, and loved; rather, I would marvel to myself, “I am a grown up! I can stay up as late as I want and have Snickers bars for dinner! I can watch unlimited hours of television. No one will stop me!”

Last weekend I attended a curated reading called Voices of the Year at the BlogHer conference. The emcee introduced each author by sharing one thing that the author had said she looked forward to in adult life when she was a child. I wanted to pose the question to everyone at my table immediately.

I never ever eat a Snickers bar for dinner. My mother’s lessons are too ingrained in my head. But I would easily eat one after dinner — if I had thought to purchase one.

How about you? What did you look forward to doing as an adult? Do you do it?

This contest is now closed. If you were the winner, then I sent you an email already. Thanks for playing!

We recently started working with the founder of Citrus Lane to help get the word out about their new service. I’m (no-longer-secretly) hoping that when my baby comes, she’ll give me my own gift subscription! Each month, mom receives an age-appropriate box of goodies starting at the baby shower or any month afterward. It’s like a CSA or wine-of-the-month-club for babies.

In their own words:

Citrus Lane is all about introducing parents to the baby products recommended most by real moms and dads. We fill our monthly boxes with 4 or 5 baby products along with helpful parenting tips and tricks. Each box is tailored specifically to your child’s age and stage, from newborn up to 18 months. The combined retail value of the products ranges from $30-40, so it’s always a great deal.

The Welcome Home box

Want to win a 3-month subscription?
Share the wisdom of your experience. Tell us in the comments what awesome product you discovered after seeing another parent use it. For a second bonus entry, give a little LIKE to Citrus Lane on Facebook and comment again that you did.

On Friday July 29th, we will select a random winner. Cost of a 3-month subscription is $75 and included items are valued up to $120. Prize to be delivered to U.S. residents only, beginning at whatever month you choose.

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We are consultants to Citrus Lane compensated for our time. And we like the boxes. And I wish I could win this contest.