Whitney passed along this mama tip to me and now I’m telling you; if your baby is starting to skip that 10pm feeding and you want to stretch those sleeping hours to ones that are more convenient, try the dream feed. She says it didn’t work for them, but we used the dream feed technique for several months (on two different babies) and are ready to try it again.

Pssst, the Baby Whisperer also recommends it if her word is worth more to you.

Now, it takes a very steady hand and I never tried it myself because I had the lucky job of pumping during feeding time (consequently, Alec is the pro in our house) but here’s the deal:

1. Warm the bottle
2. Feed the baby while he sleeps — you don’t even have to rouse him from the crib
3. Now, you go to bed and enjoy the extra ZZZZ’s

Basically, the sucking reflex is so strong that Holden could down a 4 oz bottle (and later almost 6 oz!) while still sleeping. I think Alec played video games on his phone with his free hand.

I hear that some people are able to do a full-on nursing session without waking the baby this way.

The wonderful thing about an almost-nine-month old is that fabulous head control that just screams “put me in a baby jogger and let’s see how fast this thing can go.”

Thinking about the open road with Daddy

Send your partner out for a short run with the jogging stroller and you can catch up on sleep, phone calls, or reading. Make sure to check with your pediatrician before the first trip for any safety tips. This is your 36th challenge (and you don’t even have to leave your bed)! Love or shove it? Let us know.

I recall the supreme pleasure of sending my husband out for a run with not one baby, but both!! I had a full extra half hour of near-sleep (after loading everyone up and making some mini waffles for the road) and a blissful shower before making pancakes and bacon without anyone crawling up my leg. Yay!

Alexis Dubief writes Troublesome Tots, a website about ending bedtime drama for babies. She was excited to share four tips for parents of multiples to help everyone get a better night sleep.

Four tips to a better night’s sleep for twins

Read up on preemies. Since multiples tend to be born a bit early, neurologically they may be a little undeveloped at birth. Thus, they respond REALLY well to swaddling and mimicking a womb-like environment. They may need to be swaddled all the time for the first few weeks and that is TOTALLY OK to do.

Find a schedule that suits your family. Generally, with multiples, the concept of “on demand” feeding needs to go out the window pretty quickly. The babies will need to learn how to eat and sleep at the same time for you and your partner to stay sane. After about 2-4 weeks of feeding them on demand,  work toward getting them on the same page. Baby #1 seems hungry, then baby #2 is offered a meal too. The same goes true for naps and sleeping. In the long run, syncing their schedules will be worth it.

Use two baby swings. I recommend the Fisher Price Papasan swings to my clients. Having one baby who wakes frequently at night is rough but when you have two you could literally never get any sleep. I’ve worked with moms of nine month old twins who were quivering bowls of jello from the night time shuffle. Baby swings can be powerful tools to help get babies on the same nap schedule and to minimize night wakings. Here is more information about swings as a baby sleep aid. Multiples tend to do especially well with swings since preemies often thrive on motion.

[Editor's note: We believe in borrowing equipment like swings until you know if it works for your baby, so put your credit card away and ask your Facebook friends and neighbors if anyone has an infant swing you can test for the first six weeks.]

Turn on the white noise. Loud white noise (50 db) will go a long way towards helping to keep them from waking each other up at night. Most twins do share a room and they do just great.

I found a great article on sleep training twins based on my favorite sleep guru Dr. Marc Weissbluth (author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins: A Step-by-Step Program for Sleep-Training Your Multiples), but it didn’t really address the issue of crying twins waking each other in the same crib or bedroom.

If you’re already beyond the first four to six months of twin parenting, how did you sleep train two babies in the same crib or in the same room?
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Thanks to Alexis Dubief for participating in Twins Week with her advice for sleepy parents. After two sleepless babies put her through the wringer, she used her professional skills as a researcher to pull the most current medical and academic research on newborns, babies, and sleep to provide evidence-based practical solutions to tired families.

[photo by Sarah Hubbell of Water Water Everywhere]

We know there are those people whose infants start sleeping eleven or twelve hours a night around four months old. These so-called “babies” take three daily naps at 8, 12 and 4.30. And then there are the rest of us.

At one point my moms group’s weekly discussion was so dominated by sleep that we were starting to get sick of each other, even though we needed each other so very badly, because no one else would be willing to listen to us talk with such hysteria about our child’s sleep habits.

Because it was a sensitive issue, I emailed the group ahead of time suggesting that at our next gathering, we would censor the subject unless it was a serious mental health situation that someone needed to address. I proposed a list of alternative topics that would help rejuvenate us and make us laugh during our meeting. We did this twice and it was tons of fun.

Our format was to go around in a circle and each answer the proposed alternative-to-how-is-your-baby-sleeping question. This is your 21st rookie mom challenge. Here are some conversation starters for you:

• What brought you to live here?
• Where did you go to college and what did you study?
• What were you going to name the baby if it was the opposite gender?
• Tell us about the relationship you had before you were with your partner.

These may sound basic, but when you’ve spent all of your bonding time discussing strollers and nipples, you may have left out some basic facts. Try it and let us know how it goes.

Not ready to make it through a day without talking about sleep? Pick another challenge.

Create a photo series to capture your baby’s hobbies and routines (eating and sleeping!) at three months, six months, and nine months.

They may seem like mundane moments to whip out the camera now, but that’s exactly why it’s a good idea. I wish I had had this idea when Holden was “little”… at the time, it seemed silly because I couldn’t really imagine him getting older (you know, I thought he would somehow always be nursing and projectile puking on us).

Mike from Cry it out: Adventures of a stay-at-home dad took this great photo series of his daughter, Emmeline, going through all the motions of a regular day. She’s a big girl now. Aww.

Voila – photo essay fit for a fancy photo album! And it’s never too early or late to start. Holden got his first DITL photo series at 18 months and Milo got his at 3 months. Share your links with us!

Many thanks to Nicole Johnson, sleep coach and owner of The Baby Sleep Site, who shares these sanity-saving summertime sleep tips for babies and toddlers. In addition to being a sleep expert, she is also the mom of two boys (one of whom never let her sleep).

Summertime is special; days are long, sunny and bright, giving you the time to fit in as much fun as you can manage…a rookie mom adventure or a family camping trip, for example. But what’s not so much fun? Late bedtime problems, early morning waking or both: the common side effects of the sun’s long days.

Not sleepy

You’ve probably noticed it by now. Your baby or toddler’s inner clock has been “set” with the help of the sun. Many babies start crying at bedtime and resisting sleep even more than usual. It’s also common for toddlers to stop staying in bed and falling asleep much later, trying to tell you, “I’m not tired!” (They might actually mean it, this time.) And putting a toddler to bed too early, when he’s not tired, can cause other schedule problems, such as more night-waking and waking up even earlier in the morning.

Here’s what you can do about it:

• Stop fighting the inevitable – Your baby or toddler is not necessarily testing you, but is honest to goodness not tired yet. This is not something he can change. Since the sun helps our body’s rhythms, one option is to simply embrace it. Set up a “downtime” routine in the evening, including puzzles or other quiet activities. You can even read that book you’ve been trying to get through and be a reading model. Set bedtime 30 minutes to an hour later than usual, reducing frustration for both of you. If your child is testing you, make sure you set firm limits for your toddler and return him promptly to bed, without much interaction. Anything too positive or too negative will make it a game and he will continue to be a “jack in the box.”
• Darken the room – Promote sleeping later in the morning and earlier bedtimes by darkening the room. Unfortunately, the results aren’t instantaneous. You need to start your quiet and darkened activities up to an hour before bedtime. It can be difficult to fool our bodies into thinking it is dark at bedtime, when it’s not, but with consistency, it can help. Having a darkened room does extend night sleep later in the morning, too.
• Nap Earlier – Depending on the age of your baby, you can try shifting naps earlier so baby is more tired at bedtime, where she will sleep regardless of the sun being up. Of course, too over-tired and your baby could sleep worse, so it’s a delicate balance.

If you plan to travel this summer, having a later bedtime can definitely make it easier to soak in the sun and enjoy all the people and sites at your destination. It can also be daunting making sure baby gets her beauty sleep.

Here are a few tips to make family travels more enjoyable:

All the comforts of home away from home

• Prepare a “fun” pack for the car or plane trip. Depending on age, bring along books, new toys, crayons, TaDoodles First Markers, some sort of travel drawing toy like the Aquadoodle Travel N Doodle, and a book of photos to remind him/her of home. If you are not opposed to TV, a portable DVD player is a lifesaver.
• Try to plan your snacks around take-off and landing, if possible. At least offer milk or water to help with the ears popping. Special occasion snacks, like fruit snacks, can be a hit when babies get older.
• Bring along a bed and bedding such as a Pack ‘n Play or travel crib (unless you are co-sleeping). Bring along any sheets, familiar stuffed animals, or loveys to make a “foreign” place as much like home as possible, for sleeping.
• Decide whether to bring your car seat. If you are leaving the country, you should check to make sure the car seat will work in your rental.
• Relax and have fun!

Traveling can be draining, so make sure you stay sane with more baby travel tips.

When summer ends, bedtimes will naturally get earlier again. Watch for cues that your baby or toddler is getting overtired, such as more crankiness or behavior problems, waking up even earlier in the morning, or numerous night wakings, and set bedtime accordingly.

Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Nicole Johnson is the President of Babble Soft a groovy baby tracking software company (that I would have LOVED!). Nicole has received an honorary degree in “Surviving Sleep Deprivation,” thanks to her son’s “no sleep” curriculum. She is on a mission to help other parents solve their child’s sleep problems, too.

Rookie mom, Emily, suggested hitting the drive-in movie as a great baby-on-board date night.

The last time I went to a drive-in I was driving cross-country with my pal, Rachel, and we actually watched the movie Twister (in which a drive-in theater is decimated by a tornado). I only wish the drive-ins near Berkeley were still operating!

Emily tells us about taking her two-month old to the movies:

This is perfect for my baby – she falls asleep on the drive there, sleeps through most of the movie, and when she wakes up (and cries), no one can hear her, and I can breastfeed discreetly in the car.

When she is fussy, my husband and I take turns bouncing her on our laps, just trading off every 20 minutes or so. This has allowed us to see all the first-run adult movies.

Oh yeah, and since the sound comes in through our car stereo, we don’t have to worry about loud movies.

For Peninsula moms, there is one in San Jose off Capitol Expressway. Check out DriveinMovie.com to see if the drive-in movie is still alive and well where you live.

We agree with Emily that having a baby DOES NOT mean the end of loving movies.

Related activity: Go to the theater where crying is allowed.

When we first added Goodnight Moon to our bedtime ritual, I thought, “This book is sort of boring.” After a few months, I thought “This book is painfully boring.”

One day, my friend Sunny said, “I see new things in that book every time I look at it.”

Um, what?

So I started paying more attention and here are my suggestions to keep your interest level tolerable as you read Goodnight Moon. Maybe it works with other books, too. You’ll have to tell me what you’ve found.

• The bunny is in a different position in bed each time the bed is pictured. Check it out.
• The mouse is in a different location on each page.
• The clocks advance in time as the moon’s position changes.
• How many of the words in this book do you know in another language? Test yourself and brag to your baby. “Luna!” “Cama!” “Conejo!”. No fair if you or your parents are immigrants.
• The light and dark areas of the pages vary. The art is better than I first thought…
• Is this a living room or a bedroom? Or… a studio apartment? Where’s the kitchen? Who made that mush? Think about it.

Spend a little extra time putting your active monkey down, and see if it pays off.

When Julian first started standing in his crib, I was at a loss for how to get him to nap. After listening carefully to Ryan’s procedure for putting him down, I realized I was trying to do it too fast. We got back on track with the extended ritual.

When our naptime routine was at it’s peak of effectiveness, which you must realize, dear rookie moms, can change at anytime, I recorded the procedure, in more or less 10 steps:

1. Put on white noise
2. Put on sleep sack
3. Give pacifier and lovey to hold
4. Sit on bed with Julian in lap
5. Read 2-3 books
6. Stand up and sway while singing Frere Jacques in English and French and then Yellow Submarine
7. During the chorus of Yellow Sub, put in crib.
8. If he stands up, sit on bed and sing for one more minute and then kiss and walk out
9. If he stays laying down, stand and sing for one more minute

An exciting email recently circulated amongst my extended family. My second cousin Emily and her husband Will were going to be on Oprah. “Set your DVRs!” read the email. I’ve met Emily once and never met Will, by the way. (Our grandmothers were sisters.)

If you watch Oprah, and apparently bazillions of women do, you may have actually seen the segment they appeared on.  If not, allow me to summarize.

The new Jerry Seinfeld show, The Marriage Ref, was being promoted on Oprah.  Jerry appeared on Oprah and the two of them skyped with first-time parents Emily and Will to demonstrate how a marital argument should be settled by outsiders. Emily and Will each presented their perspective and then all of America got to judge them. (And now you can, too.)

So here’s the video that Emily and Will made describing their conflict.  You’ll see where Will sleeps (on the porch) and learn why.

In an email, Will told me

My move to the porch was definitely inspired in part by parenthood. I moved out to the porch around the time that our son, River, arrived. Emily slept with him for the first few months, and I didn’t want to interrupt their sleep or their mother-child bonding. Whenever I would get up to pee, the bed would creak and Emily would get upset about me waking up her and the baby. So I humbly and graciously moved out to the porch and slept under the stars, with the sound of the creek lulling me to sleep. But now River is two-years-old and sleeping in his own bed, so Emily wants me back in the bed with her.

Thoughts?

DIY mamas-to-be and wannabes: This is one easy project that will give you bang for your $5.

When shopping for receiving blankets, it seems that there are 3 kinds of totally WRONG kinds of blankets: cute but stretchy, too small, or not square. Uggh! For a true Harvey-Karp-style swaddle, you need a biggish piece of flannel or muslin fabric cut in a square.

Excerpted from both our book, Rookie Mom’s Handbook and our real lives is this super fast way of making the best big-enough receiving blanket:

Activity # 11: Make the best (or worst) swaddling blanket

If making something with your hands is fun for you and having a well-rested baby is something else you like, then this activity is right up your alley.

Buy a 40″ by 40″ piece of flannel with a cute pattern and then finish (or hem) the edges. A perfect square makes the best swaddler, but any shape will do for a stroller blanket or play mat — so if it comes out deformed, everybody still wins.

Pay no attention to the couple piles of adorable flannel in my sewing pile… I swear that those are for friends and their future babies, and not cuz I couldn’t handle this project.

Related links:
Happiest Baby on the Block (dvd) – to teach you to wrap your perfect swaddle
Rookie Mom’s Handbook – to teach you how to enjoy becoming a mom
Activity #387: Make or buy a fuzzy, sassy, personalized baby blanket – to teach you how to make a totally cute stroller blanket

My friend and parenting expert, Julie King, had a rookie baby who would not sleep once he reached the toddler age. Once he figured out that better things were going on in the other room, he resisted.

Together with her friend and co-author, Joanna Faber, they created Asher’s Dance and Rest Tape to trick the savage toddler into napping.

Julie told me:

Joanna came up with the concept and then made the tape for me (and Asher) years ago, when I was having trouble getting him to calm down and nap (and I had his new baby brother to juggle). As a classical pianist who only listens to pop music when someone force-feeds me and have no idea what I’m hearing, I was at a loss when it came to picking actual music, so she came to my rescue.

It has about 30 to 45 minutes of music, and it goes from very lively dance music, to calmer dance music, to soothing, ending with Gregorian Chants.

I would always do it with Asher (or else he wouldn’t do it), and we would start off with wild dancing, and then get slower and slower, and by the time the Gregorian chants came we’d be lying on the floor on a blanket, and he would take his nap on the floor.

I’d love to put together a Rookie Mom’s Dance and Rest Playlist together. We’ll need fast songs (like the move it, move it song) all the way through sleepy songs or chants. Who’s with me?!